you look at me like
i'm nothing, as if you're looking at me,
but really,
you're daydreaming, drifting,
as far a way from me
as possible.

but then,
you look at me,
smile at me,
kiss me,
as if i'm everything, and you know it so well,
but try to hide it just as much.

"don't hide it."
"don't fear this."

"i didn't expect this either,
this nothing and also everything at once,"
are what I'm thinking but not saying
as I look at you the same exact
way you look at me.

Of forty million *****, I am the one who made it.

I survived, and although I love walking my mutts, riding ferris wheels, and eating ice cream, I wonder about my brothers & sisters,

Those who swam with me through that channel and waited for that moment of conception.

Would they have enjoyed walking my mutts, riding ferris wheels, and eating ice cream too?

Yes, I made it into this world but at a cost of a world they’ll never get to know.