It was red when it first erupted
And red when he left it
Blue, green, yellow, and
white in between
On the side of a mountain
He blasted apart with his son
And other explosives..

He raised us and taught us
The proper way
To take care of your property
I am his youngest grandchild
That's something I will always be
Someone in his eyes
I'll always be.

It's hard when you think
no one can see you
When you're eleven
and cutting yourself
When you're puking from crying
And you hurry to turn off the lights
So the tired old man checking on you
Thinks you're asleep and well
I got so tired of talking
Of thinking I was not worth the trouble
The trouble it takes to let a child
of abuse and divorce
Cry on your shoulder
I never thought I was a guest
Always knew you were fleeting..

But I was persistent on insisting
That I was the only person existing
I am sure I was wrong about that.

I  hope you've asked Jesus to forgive me
for all the wrong I've done
All the lies I've told and
All the hell I put myself and everyone around me through
You didn't know what I was doing
up there in that room
But I wish you did
So someone could've told me "no"
Someone I'd of listened to.
But I don't blame you
I don't blame you.