I LIFTED HER UP TO LOOK INSIDE - THERE
WERE PHOTOS OF WHEN HER MOTHER WAS A BRIDE,
UNCLES, AUNTS AND DISTANT COUSINS, ALL
IN ROWS, ALL WITH DUST, NOT CLEANED SINCE
LAST HOLIDAY WHEN OTHERS CAME TO LOOK -
SO MANY MORE TAKEN OUT OF THE BOOK;
IMPRISIONED - MAYBE THEY CAME OUT TO PLAY
AT NIGHT, ALWAYS LOOKED THE SAME, IMPOSSIBLE
TO AGE AND NEVER BOTHERED BY THE RAIN, WHEN
DAYLIGHT CAME THEY WERE ALL BACK AGAIN;
WE WILL BE BEHIND THE GLASS WHEN ALL
THINGS COME TO PASS, SOME EVEN NOW BUT
CAN NOT PLAY UNTIL SPIRIT HAS DEPARTED;
WHEN I PUT HER DOWN SHE WAS BROKEN- HEARTED.

IT'S WISE TO OBSERVE NO SNOOTY RESERVE,
BUT DON'T LET YOUR LIPS NURSE A HIDDEN ITCH,
AS THO' WORDS MIGHT COME FROM SOMEONE
WHOSE DUMB, DON'T THINK EVERYTHING IS
PUNITIVE, RATHER GRASP ANY NETTLE AND
TURN IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE - TO COME
AWAY WITH A BONUS IS INCUMBENT
UPON US, JUST LIKE A CHESS GAME - THE
SLIGHTEST ADVANTAGE CAN WIN THE DAY
AND SURPRISE YOURSELF HOW LITTLE
YOU HAD TO PLAY; NO PERPLEXITY IS NEEDED,
NO FIXED EXPRESSION, RATHER SHOW SOME
OF YOUR SOUL AS THO' YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S AT,
RATHER THAN SUFFER THE ZIG-ZAG SMILE OF THE CAT!

WRITE YOUR OWN RESUME' - THEN I'LL SIGN IT,
MY MENTOR SAID TO ME, ALBEIT FLIPPANTLY,
SO I DID: PHD IN PHILOSOPHY, A FIRST
IN ENGLISH LIKE ALDUOS HUXLEY AND
PROFESSOR OF ORIENTAL STUDIES AT LONDON
UNIVERSITY; A NUMBER OF NOVELS, POETRY
AND WHITE PAPERS COMPLETED A BUSY LIFE,
NO TIME TO TAKE A WIFE, RATHER ARMED
WITH A KNIFE TO PUT INTO PEOPLE'S BACKS,
A REPUTATION MADE AFTER NUMEROUS ATTACKS,
KNOWLEDGE WAS PASSED ON, STUDENTS CAME
AND WENT, ANYWAY WHY SHOULD A PROFESSOR
NEED TO BE HEAVEN-SENT? THE LIFE WAS MINE,
NOT GOOD ENOUGH - MY MENTOR REFUSED TO SIGN.

I COULDN'T GO OUTSIDE IN CASE I GOT ZIKA,
BUT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO GET WEAKER,
I MET RONALDO, AT A FIFA PARTY AS YOU GO,
AND MESSI AND NEYMAR WHO HAD NOWHERE .. .. ,
THEY SAY THAT INDONESIA IS TO BE ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS,
BUT WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF TORNADOES AND EXTREMISTS,
NAOMI SOCKED SOMEONE ELSE ON A BA PLANE,
AFTER DIVORCE, CHARLTON WON'T BE THE SAME AGAIN,
ENGLAND'S VOTING TO STAY WITH EUROPE OR NOT,
MOST DON'T GIVE A S.... , THEY'LL SAY THEY FORGOT,
TRUMP CONTINUES TO BORE US AND DEPLORE MOST,
DON'T LET MONEY BUY OR ENTERTAIN HIS ILLITERATE BOAST;
WE'LL GET ON WITH OUR LIVES, DON'T NEED THOSE GUYS,
THEY SHOULD REMEMBER THAT SOME THINGS ARE NOT GOVERNED BY THEIR SIZE.

MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS HEAR ME, I WILL
SUMMON YOU DISTANTLY FROM AFAR WHILE
I'M SITTING ON MY STAR AND WHILE YOUR
DRIVING IN YOUR CAR; HE WHO WINS 'PRAYERS'
AND WEARS THE MANTLE OF SERENITY, THE
BADGE OF DIVINITY AND THE CLOAK OF
RESPONSIBILITY; TURN AROUND TO FACE MECCA
AND THEN GIVE SUCCOUR TO ALLAH, THE
PROPHETS AND WHERE YOUR LIFE BEGAN - BY
GRACE OF POWER AND MIGHTY ISLAM; I
MADE A MISTAKE, PERHAPS I WAS WRONG AFTER
ALL - I DIDN'T ANSWER THE MUEZZIN'S CALL,
NO MATTER, NO NEED TO FEEL SO BEREFT -
AFTER ALL, TODAY, I STILL HAVE FOUR TIMES LEFT.

I'M FROM AYUTHIA IN THAILAND, MADE OF TEAK,
I HAVE SO MANY STORIES IF I COULD SPEAK,
I'VE SEEN YOU LAUGH AND HEARD YOU CRY
AND EVEN WATCHED YOU WAVE GOODBYE;
STANDING HERE ON THE TV, THERE'S NO
BETTER VIEW IT SEEMS TO ME, THAT MAYBE
I SHOUD WRITE A BOOK - DON'T FROWN NOW,
I KNOW THAT LOOK, KNOW YOUR MOODS, KNOW
WHEN ANGER EXUDES FROM HIDDEN PORES AND
PETULANCE SHOWS ITSELF FROM UNKNOWN STORES;
THERE HAVE BEEN THE GOOD TIMES BUT MY MOOD
IS FIXED, NO WAY OF SAYING - EMOTIONS MIXED,
JUST REMEBER THAT I'M HERE FOR YOU, BROUGHT
WITH LOVE - A GUIDING LIGHT FROM HEAVEN ABOVE.

JO AND I ARE GOING BACK HOME NOW, IT'S DONE,
WE'VE HAD EVERYTHING FROM PHUKET TO HUMDRUM,
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HEARTS, YOUR CALL,
I GAVE SOME, FOLLOWED AND TRIED TO READ YOU ALL;
I HAD CRITICAL ACCLAIM, PERHAPS STRUCK A CHORD,
I DON'T MIND THE ADMONISHMENT - MAYBE YOU WERE BORED,
BUT IF I MADE YOU LAUGH, EVEN MADE YOU CRY,
IT WAS WORTH EVERY MOMENT THAT I COULD TRY
TO BRIGHTEN THE DAY OR FOR THAT MATTER - THE NIGHT,
WITH THE 'REVOLUTIONIST' HOLDING COURT, GIVING US A FRIGHT,
'TITANIA' WAS 'ILL MET BY MOONLIGHT' IN AN EERIE GLOW,
I SAID TO LIGHTEN UP, ILLUMINATE, NOT LOOK LIKE INDIGO;
MAYBE SOME THINGS WERE WRONG BUT NOT IN THE MAIN,
I WILL RETURN TO ' RIGHT ' AND SEE YOU ALL AGAIN.

I USED TO THINK THAT DOGS THOUGHT IN ENGLISH,
BUT, OF COURSE, IT COULD BE GERMAN OR SPANISH,
IF YOU TELL THEM TO SIT, THEY MAY NOT RESPOND,
JUST RUN AWAY TO THE BACK OF BEYOND;
I'M LOOKING UP 'SIT,' IN RUSSIAN, 'GET OFF
THAT ****** CHAIR,' IN CROATIAN AND 'COME
HERE, THERE'S A GOOD BOY' AND 'WELL DONE,'
PERHAPS WE JUST NEED AN 'ESPERANTO' SO
THAT THEY WILL ALL DO AS THEY'RE TOLD,
OTHERWISE WE WON'T LET THEM COME IN FROM THE COLD,
'STAY,' IN SWEDISH COULD MAKE THEM PEEVISH,
'FRIEND,' IN SWAHILI COULD MAKE THEM AN ENEMY,
WE DON'T WANT THEM TO BARK, MOPE AND PINE,
DON'T FORGET THE MAGIC COMMAND - 'NEIN, NEIN, NEIN!'

THE AMERICANS SPELL GREY WITH AN 'A,'
THEY LACK SUBTLETY SO THEY SAY,
THAT ALL CATS ARE GREY IN THE DARK,
AND IF YOU ASK A DOG - 'DOES IT HURT?                
HE'LL REPLY -                                        
'ONLY WHEN I BARK!'
SOMEONE BOUGHT ME SOME KEY RINGS,
SHOWING A MAP OF PENANG AND AUSTRALIA,
A MALAYSIAN DOLLAR - THEN I HEARD THE DOG HOLLER,
THEN I HEARD THAT YOU COULD SPELL CENTRE TWO WAYS,
MAYBE YOU COULD MAKE A CHOICE ON DIFFERENT DAYS,
I SUPPOSE THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A THANKSGIVING FOR ALL
THAT, WE HAVE AN I-POD, I-PHONE AND A SAT-NAV,
LIFE'S A TURKEY, A BARKING DOG AND A BEACH,
WHEN I GO FOR THE DYE - IT'S OUT OF REACH!

HEALTHY YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD NOT READ,
ONLY SEARCH FOR INFORMATION WHEN YOU NEED,
SOMEONE ASKED ME: 'WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR IDEAS FROM?'
I REPLIED: 'YOU TALKING, ASKING ME IS ONE,'
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF WHAT I SAY IS WRONG;
TIME IS SHORT, YOU READ MY WORK WHEN I'M GONE,
YOU WONDER WHAT'S MEANT WHEN THE PASSAGE COMES ALONG,
MAYBE ONLY I KNEW THE QUESTION WILL HANG IN THE AIR,
YOU'LL WRITE YOUR OWN WORK AND THEN YOU'LL CARE;
IT WILL BE LIKE MAKING LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME,
YOU STARTED OFF WITH SUCH SPEED AND ENTHUSIASM,
YOU REALIZED WHAT THEY'D TOLD YOU WAS A TRUISM,
WHEN IT'S OVER, YOU MAY THINK IT'S AN ANTI -******,
IF YOU DID IT RIGHT - YOUR BAPTISM FOR NOTHING LACKS.