im not quite sure where all the time went
but i still remember every word you said.
everything you ever expected from me,
every thought you ever had about me.

ive got your beliefs on my mind.
am i everything you wanted??

i thought i was safe inside your heart,
i thought itd be easier to see the light of day.
oh but was i wrong thinking youd be my savior.

i remember all you ever taught me
but ill never remember the things you shouted at me.
i got really good at repression,
because all you ever preached was nothing i could believe.

i told myself a million times i wouldnt go
round and round again.
but i never stopped spinning, and i never got dizzy.

I framed myself for every wrong,
you never did any bad, and i never saw.
it was okay, all those words you said,
you burned into my mind, the worthlessness i held.
i came this far thinking i was less than enough,
i came into adulthood knowing my worth.
because you helped me figure out exactly how to fail.

i never had a life, you never gave me what i needed to succeed.
i never had what gave me the will to power on.
how dare i believe i had it good.

I wonder if you could tell me
What you saw in my eyes on day one
The day we met had a warm summer breeze
But what did you see under our setting sun?

I ponder until my sky has darkened
What you heard that you didn’t want to let go of
The night we sat in Aya with our eyes widened
But what did you hear through the music of love?

I squander my imagination out of reach
What you could’ve felt on our last embrace
Over the clouds, mourning mountains and seas
But what did you feel about the memories we couldn’t erase?

I surrender my thoughts and dream from yesteryear
What stopped us from erupting every single day?
Through our implosions, we’ve turned igneous and seared
But what good are we if we can’t make it through today?