some gone girl is speaking when next to my bed
whispered linnet murmurs preying online thru perilous sheds
blue under trees under the moon to leave shadows in your head
god is unloving and fabled in redress
i am a tomb i came too soon i am the tomb to live too sssoon
with lead palms crawling out of skin molds to scratch at the moon
fingers left crinkled and shriveled under what is new
uncluttered archers in stone slit platoons
letting them go letting them go letting it go letting them go
im staring down sideways to watch it unfold
everyone can smile and everyone can glow
but it takes a special evil to hide it from all
limbic numeracy is past reaching goals
it spreads and descends upon the lives it unfolds
its holding a Mesmer that cloves what hasn't sold
then spreads it like skelter across the crust of the world
god god god god how the **** are u where have u been
i need u we needed u like now its like
i ******* never want to see u again
like here is the palm in the eye of the world next to a
doctor boring gold mines into the veins of the scourge
riding checkered pale hearses across blank frail reading boards
educating all our current lovers on eternity and remorse
ur lacking the emotion to understand why it hurts
ur lacking the heart to feel when it ******* burns
your understanding is nothing to the weight of my birth
u live like a vulture failed in naming her worth
i dont give a **** what u take into your remission
the reaper undevils me u know im lacking ambition
the burning in my throat is the lane of my life
empty bottles living rags eating forbidden apples like its nothing
screaming and unbelieving and inhaling the rest at night
bareskin is deadskin thats the only way she could like
its unburdened there where the aqua violet struts and stares
im terminally confused and in unending repair
thats the only way i can survive it not that i like it
just the only way to survive in it and its ******* nothing how i like it
it just reminds me of this and i want to burn in hell again
i need it to continue ill burn in hell again
**** u for thinking you owned anything
im alone in this no one is watching and touching m y shoulder
when im writing this i am alone in this i already disclosed it
i am emulsified in it the world that is forever unopened
and i never even learned how to calm down
and breathe in
this is all that its worth and u arnt enough human to unveil how it hurts

look down when im writing like there's blood on my hand
life touchss my shoulder in the absence of death
muss be dripping from the nostril from its bobbing crystal head
i know its because i pulled out yellow flowers from spaces they left
stop beggin u remember he says to a doe shaking water from her chin
into your hands put them into your hands i put it into your hand
i hope u understand this that even tho they are full
they are as good as dead //flashing half eaten hearts off a cold gluttonous god// wrapped in a moth eaten blanket
mine was never open enough to be filled with regrets i know
that all we ever meant is what is left
i know that all i know to dipsense is death
ive been worming into and undergoing more than a modicum of stress
pale birds still sleep when they bleed out their pigment
i know because i watch them out my window
when the moon lifts its head
they plead with the weather thru crowding lachrymal stems
I FEEL SO BAD cuz god its so obnoxious
when he beats his barbaric chest
then pleads and cries like a ***** when he cant hold his breath
where was the last time u felt alive its not next to
or even around me who has given you life
even tho i never mean it even tho you always see it
im a creature with eyes i feed on unbelieving
finding every cross-way to die

A nullified redness that foams at the mouth, snoring, disclosing on the back of a trial. we can be everything if we can find how to come out of this nothing even while its raining the dead, i have everything i need. i just been holding it in, on a limp rest for a barking breath, fowled and remitent, beating its black chest with galvanized incisions.  i always found the holes that are homes in the trees, bending and breathing to testify release. no more gargled reminiscing that should be toothpaste in the sink, no more barrels through eye-sockets when the old lights need remembering. They are home as far as holes go and there the rabbits are convening to decide what to do with me. ill just wait here,
breathing and dreaming, this cant be reality.
swimming through crystals that have never been my own.
in come the snows, freezing and biting at the neck of the world

love is a dead pool, still and itching from the eyelashes it holds unwillingly that will never move from its glass surface, there is no wind in hell. love is a broken antler broadcasting heaven thru its creature, barreling through the trees with unrelenting grief, when all that surrounds is dark, not evil, just dark, emphatically imaginative. Snapping  a neck on the trunk of a tree,  swan diving straight off a cliff into the sea or just to bleed, raining over the cracks in an earthworms ceiling. The dark that comes after, that is love. cog-less, fluid, and remarkable. completely human and cognitive when it constricts around your neck and lets u go just before u asphyxiate. Violent and gentle, caustic and admiring, a skeleton dancing without his hinges. It is wonder fed a disease, on prismatic plates without chips or marring; just colors one and all. i dont know where you are and i dont know where i have been. i need you to exist or some part of it, before my earth climbs out of its skin. with or without you. love is a blood wind, a mastic for skin, a backdrop for sin and everything that crawls in the dirt without limbs, it is godless and wild, a smoking gun, spiritual eviction, blood all over the bedroom wall, jealous and infinite, unnameable and free, a reservoir of  dark dreams and darker fantasies.
please excuse me, i see the headlights coming and
this rapture has been far to long in arriving
there is no spirit in the sky
everything is in your eyes
god is in your eyes