Sydney Victoria

Sydney Victoria Nov 2013

The Last Of Summer's Shriveled Leaves Held On,
A Blistering Wind Had Grasped Their Frail Stems,
And Ripped Each One Off Until They Were Gone;
They Fell Slow Between The Tree's Tangled Limbs

The Last Of Springtime's Robins Had Shivered,
The Orange On Their Bellies Now White From Snow,
Winter's Cruel Bite Seeping To Their Liver,
As Their Eyes Lost The Summer Sun's Stale Glow

The Last Of Fall's Lazy Currents Had Ceased,
And The River Creaked With White, Crispy: Ice,
Robins Scowered What The Ice Had Released,
Skittering Along The Banks Like Starved Mice

The Warmth Within The Trees Has Now Vanished,
The Robin's Song Was Now Chilled And Famished

I Took A Walk The Other Day Along The Now Frozen Mississippi. A Flock Of About 20-30 Robins Landed In A Tree On The Bank Next To Where I Was Sitting. The Bank Was Sligtly Open And They Picked Through The Frozen Dirt For Food Which Wasn't There... There Is A Condition These Robins Suffer From Which Doesn't Allow Them To Return South Because Of The Corruption Of A Gland Behind Their Eyes Which Allows Them To See The Magnetic Field Of The Earth--Which Is Their Built In GPS. This Gland Has Been "Whacked Up" Because Of The Frequenzy Emitted By Cellphone Towers... Last Year In The Middle Of December A Flock Of 9 Surived Until The First January Blizzard..

Sydney Victoria Nov 2013

Castles On The Shore (3 Tankas)

Come, Sit Here With Me,
Let's Dip Our Toes In The Creek,
Though It's November,
Let Us Watch The Waters Gleam
As They Swirl Around Our Feet

Come, Lie Here With Me,
We Could Kiss Or Count The Stars,
Though It's November,
We Could Still Have Frosted Dreams;
Steal The Night And Call It Ours

Come Here, Keep Me Warm,
The Sun Does It's Job, No More,
Though It's November,
We Could Still Go To A Lake,
And Build Castles On The Shore

Sydney Victoria Nov 2013

Self Portrait II (Format Is Better On My Home Page)

My Lips Are Set Straight, Chapped, And Thin.
    Heart
             Is
                 Thumping
                                Wildly
                                         Pushing
                                                      Blood
                                                               Through
                                                                               My
                                                                                    Hot
Clouds Scurried Across The Sky Like Thin Blue Veins
                                                                                   As
                                                                               If
                                                                           It
                                                                  Were
                                                              A
                                                Captive
                                   Animal
                           That
                    Had
            Been
       Set
Free From Accusation The Birds Soared Above Me
    ....
        Such
               An
                    Interesting
                                      Concept
                                                    Because
                                                                  How
                                                                          Does
                                                                                  One
The Leaves Fell In Circles Around Me; It's Fall I Know
                                                                                      If
                                                                             They
                                                                    Truly
                                                             Are
                                                   "Free"
                                            And
                                     Not
                            Being
                   Held
       Captive
  By
The Dawn Is Quiet Since Deserted By The Sparrows
     Sky

*Sydney

I Have Become The Songbird's Favorite Summer Tree, And My Precious Sparrows Are Flying Away, Else Where, Without Me, For I Am Grounded By The Hardening Soils..

Sydney Victoria Nov 2013

Escaping Into The Sea (8 Tankas)

My Throat Red And Raw,
I Am Drinking From The Sea,
My Reflection Blurred,
Frigid Yet Soft Like The Stars,
My Eyes Dark And Vacant*

                         My Fists Are Clenching,
                      Trembling In Waning Light,
                           I'm Thinking Of You,
                  For I've Dreamed Of You Again;
                           A Pale,  Lonely Memory

You Are Small And Frail,
Wrapped In A Plaid Comforter,
Tears Roll Down Your Cheeks;
You Were Thinking Back To Me,
When Your Hell Had Just Began

                              I'm Biting My Lip,
              While Watching The Leaves Recoil,
                             I Am Fidgeting,
                  Taping My Pen Rhythmically,
                     Trying To Distract Myself

I Breathe In Deeply,
My Heart Is Beating Too Fast,
I Gently Touch You,
You Turned To Look In My Eye,
You Murmured,"Why Are You Here?"

                                I Rub My Forehead,
                        My Palm As Cold As The Air,
                               I Stare At The Ground,
                      My Thoughts Are Disorganized,
                      Strewn Around, Pictures Of You

I've Jumped In The Sea,
Your Sad Eyes Have Seen Me Off,
For Some Strange Reason,
I Don't Feel Satisfaction,
Only A Hint Of Pity

                                   I Do Feel Relieved,
                     Not Because You Have Crumbled,
                                 But Because I'm Free,
                    I Am Free From Your Strained Grasp,
                      For You Had Said That One Word

*Goodbye

Hmm, Take It How You Want.

All I Needed Was A Goodbye<3

Step 4 Towards Self Forgiveness:

I've Realized That My Past Actions Did
Not Only Affect Me.. And Those Actions
Had Pushed Someone Down A Path Which
Lead Them To Hell On Earth.. That Is What
I Had Wanted In The Beginning, I Was Bitter--But Now
That I've Seen That It's Actually Happened,
I Am Not Relieved--I'm Petrified

I Had Been Drinking The Darkness Of The Sea,
Dwelling On My Twisted Reflection,
When Really I Should've Been Swimming To
New And Better Prospects--Than Soaking
In The Ancient Waters Of Pain.

Sydney Victoria Oct 2013

Undesired State Of Mind (10w)

I Wish I Could Explain My Current State Of Mind.

Undesired Instead Empire.. Ahaha:)

There Is So Much I Wish To Say About This Feeling Of Loss And Sadness Which Dwells Within My Hollow And Cooling Heart...

Sydney Victoria Oct 2013

So Long Heaven

Colors Linger; Suspended In A Glimmering Eye,
As Dew Perched Upon The Greenest Blades Of Grass,
The Lawn Removing The Hate From The Sole Of Her Boots;
The Vegetation A Door Mat Spelling Out "WELCOME"

Her Breath Escapes As White Clouds From Her Throat;
The Carbon Dioxide Warm From Her Content Soul,
The Air Crisp And Quiet, Filled With Birdsong
As She Walked Quietly Through The Thick Wood,
The Trees Her Family Portrait Hanging On A White Wall,
The Faces Smiling, Spelling Out That This Was "HOME"

Though The Sun Was Shining Her Eyes Were Gray,
Clouded By The Solemn Thought Of Another Goodbye,
The Birdsong Disappeared Into The Vastness Behind Her,
The Colors Now Charcoal, For She Was Gone,
Though One Last Misty Breath Hung Within The Trees...
It Had Sighed The Words, "SO LONG HEAVEN"

*Sydney

So Long Heaven.. I'll Try To Be Back Home Soon<3

Self Portrait Poem

Sydney Victoria Oct 2013

Self Portrait I (5 Haikus)

The Red Leaves Quivered;
Slowly They Began To Die,
In The Changing Breeze

A Crimson Heart Hurt,
In A Wind No Longer Warm;
It No Longer Kind

A Raven Had Called,
Sobbing In A Dying Tree;
The Sun Was Setting

A Full Moon Had Rose,
But The Wolf No Longer Sang,
For She Had No Song

Frost Covered The Earth,
Slowly The Crimpson Faded;
The World All But Ice

*Sydney

My Dad Said I Should Get Back To Writing..