Think of me before you plunge into the ocean
Let me be the reason you come back up for air
I'm not one for cheap metaphors
But if you wrote them, holding a pen without ink,
I would read every one with the traces of my fingers.

I awoke just to see the rainfall wash me away

Do you ever rub your eyes so hard that
you start seeing the galaxy.
Mostly black
with flashes of purple and
other lights.
You can see,
even though your eyes
are closed.

I want to go there
I want to be weightless
I want to disappear

I'm drowning myself,
i tied myself down,
dropped the anchor
and let it take me away
the deeper it pulls me
the darker it gets
i am fully emerged
in my past
and now that i want to get out of it
I have no choice but come to terms with the fact that
i did this to myself
I've got no where to go
but to keep sinking
into the depths;
it's dark here.

Please stop with all your leaving. I'm scared of all your constant moving on. I never said anything about the way you tried to find God between my temples but today is the day you stop mourning me because, darling, I'm not even dead yet. And I know you feed on me, I know you've never done anything else than believing you're not good enough, humble humble boy, but I can tell you that the fires you started will do more damage than you anticipated.
I'm more than okay with that. I wrote you a letter once or twice saying that should I not **** myself I would gladly be killed by you. When you talk, sometimes I wish I was deaf so I'd have a reason to study your lips. You have no idea how your touch feels.
I never asked you about the things you talk about in your sleep. I never asked you about the pleas for fire.
In the end, I'll still be the match that didn't light and I don't know where you will be.
Tell me all of your fears. I'm only scared of you. Of you never loving me like this. Never like this.

All these whispered thoughts inside my head
They hate me
I hate me
I'm fat
I'm shy, awkward, and quiet
I'm not beautiful either
Not like other girls
I'm different
I'm weird
I'll never be loved by any guy, even if I loved him
None of my dreams would seem to come true
I won't be the writer I want to be
I won't get married and have kids like I want to
And I'll go out like Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, but without my Romeo because he won't exist
Or I might drown my sorrows in my own blood and wine
Red wine
The blood of wines
I'll drink it down till I don't feel anything anymore, but warm tingles and numbness
I might fill up the bath and grab something to end my pain
But even that is a dream
And it won't come true
None of them do
I've seen better people fail
I'm no better
At least I don't believe I am
*This is what I think of me...