Silken yellow honey stains
on my sweater, two sizes
too big, scrubbed for days.
Stubborn marks won't go away
not that I'd complain,
colors bloomed on night crusades.
Starved fast, no gains
still faithful bones remain
on this ardent search, pleasure abstains.
Selfless stares from a distance,
untouchable daydreams inflating
my head with lavender and persistence.
So hard not to over think, excavating
expectations, when you scrutinize
hope you see devotion in my veins.

Words carry burden grander than
the ships that move armies
across the vast shifting chasm;
waves invisible, pounding drums-
Words hit like when you land,
feeling oneness
with gravity for the first time
in months, cauterized.
Words drive men to the edge
of the world, to pull them back in
for slaughter, fresh domain
can't change old ways.

Rust on your elbows
and tarnished teeth
since the night I met you, those
eyes took my ability to breathe
like something that was meant
to be let go, nostalgia grips,
discontent and fruits ferment
with you, no last minute trips.
Instant gratification
is not for me, gut instincts
never failed me, altercations
between heart and soul, distinct
whispers advising me
to leave, insipid acts,
humdrum enquiries for beauty
and love lapsed.

But it feels like I've been dreaming
for far too long somehow,
I should have woken up by now-
whilst we're serving sincerity
with varying levels of severity
I should admit that I am less afraid
to fight, a fool I'd be made
before I'd find myself wandering.
I don't know that I could bring
myself to get lost again,
in need of somewhere to begin-
honesty has taken me places
far from stability, thin traces
electrify me, my mind infested
& set free I've been, blessed
by angels, visions gleaming.

Always used to dance fearlessly
never caring who, you
caught a glimpse, skirts swaying
in a pleated breeze; afternoon
winds blow in reservation
like an ephemeral season's
unforgiving deliverance.
Matured, promiscuity a dagger,
a defense mechanism in adolescence,
but I may have been wiser
than to imagine their touch
could save me from all
the things I never knew, pained me more
than the gore on the big screens.
Finding devotion like kissing God,
rolled in like high tide past midnight
uninvited and looking for a score;
the moon holds vigilance above my heart,
sinking and emerging recurrently,
left to drown in an endless sea
from which there will be no rescue.

A single emotion
breathing down my neck,
clinging to the axel
for the past ninety-six miles.
Some days I feel stronger
than others, some days
I seek an end
that's no where in sight.
Two point perspective
leading me down
the rabbit's hole, somewhere
I swore I would never go.

Longing for things
formerly resented,
"love & summer citrus"
the smell of my shampoo,
lounging, Florida springs,
acceptance unprecedented,
sipping on clementines
drifting nearer you;
having faith brings
to light a soul tormented,
smothered in corrosive acid
and in heat forged anew.