Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Make me feel again
with cyan sky eyes, destroy
fear that multiplies.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Counting blessings on both hands-
worthy company and light
gleaming past the sunsets & quicksands,
my body and love
resemble perfect synonyms,
health and your serenity
carry me through, intuition is
all I know; stopped counting
the days long like molasses
and run on sentences I can't control
any more than this feeling, surpasses
all reason and confidence shakes
under the weight of reality, could have
should have known each touch was sacred
dividing my dreams into crooked halves;
quixotic the way I cling to every
exchange, glances revealing truths
swept under sea with a heartbeat,
pleading for remembrance, proof
of transient marvels and opulence,
lost and wondering but not what if,
instincts sing stationary, staring down a
cliff.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
By brush strokes, our
bones blended together in tones
of egg white and taupe.
Irreversible.

To an ancient growth, dislocated,
dead weight wrapped around my knuckle-
a promise, or a reminder of
permanence.

I am with you;
vines grasping desperately onto anything
whisper sweet things, "please
Stay."
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
"Rough", a polite way of expressing my apprehension from the start, couldn't have known I was shaking for all the wrong (Reasons) that you left are in surplus this season; flipping vowels upside down along with my smile, and faded hues stand out the most now;  this pale blue follows me but that seems so irrelevant most days. Years pass and as my eyes grow feeble, I see more, more, more, and you are the greatest beauty I have ever seen, your fragile chest and broken bones more than memories for me to launder between the parts of my brain that still give a ****. I replaced the decay of my spirit with rotted lungs, with magick however alleged, ritual a key, components fine like the filigree that lined my illusions, dramatic tone and teeth marks make me quiver, alchemical bonds between the ground and I, afire is the sky and my insides turn bone white and glowing under your moon.
Stop spinning ...
The feeling of overflowing consumes me, and abundance isn't always preferred, to tell you the truth I kind of miss all of my innards being contained within me. But each day I feel a little less invisible and it gets that much easier to deal with this (hole) thing, forget the flashing moments of misery  in which I could suffocate myself because it's hard to complain, I must admit I've created every crevice and ****** crack that you see on my body with my own devices, like trying to mold clay with scissorhands; This expulsion may be near unpalatable but it seems to me the only thing that helps me forget, truth is I don't know why I haven't yet; just chaotic noise like the raps that flowed from the lips of the artist that I wasn't paying any attention to at all that night at that coffee shop.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Longing for things
formerly resented,
"love & summer citrus"
the smell of my shampoo,
lounging, Florida springs,
acceptance unprecedented,
sipping on clementines
drifting nearer you;
having faith brings
to light a soul tormented,
smothered in corrosive acid
and in heat forged anew.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
They say we are small,
divinity blossoms within,
from the lotus dew drips,
and one is all.
All these secrets held in
aren't worth keeping, quick-
Tear down that wall,
the truth is carved into my skin.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Envy knocks twice,
doors sealed, nine locks,
not welcome, dry eyes,
savoring my sanctity.
Too sweet, tooth aches
echoing earthquakes
straight through me,
hearts rush, no breathing-
He'll hear me thinking
no doubt, sun's out,
shadows glaring and
still here I'll be waiting.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
My heart remains lost
between indifference and
the mistakes I've made.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Silken yellow honey stains
on my sweater, two sizes
too big, scrubbed for days.
Stubborn marks won't go away
not that I'd complain,
colors bloomed on night crusades.
Starved fast, no gains
still faithful bones remain
on this ardent search, pleasure abstains.
Selfless stares from a distance,
untouchable daydreams inflating
my head with lavender and persistence.
So hard not to over think, excavating
expectations, when you scrutinize
hope you see devotion in my veins.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Pulp floats
on the illusion of ivory,
hidden love notes and
disease dispelled from the throat.
Deafening nerves
compete with echoes of our screams,
wax drips on all four corners,
residual strawberry preserves.
Obligations I keep
under "notions of love",
and all the stars we put in the sky
because it's too hard to sleep.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
How do I explain that
   your smile is the best
      p
         a
            r
               t
                  of me?
Living in my memory,
   it inspires the breeze
         that wakes me, light shines
            bright
               u
                  p
                     o
                         n
                              me, and I am better
                                 than I was yesterday.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Visions incandescence
grows dim on odd days,
practice of virtue in vain.
Gossamer ramparts,
getting lost in this maze,
numb now, Novocain,
almost feels inhumane.
Seraph's hymns, soft hearts
comply, descent in July,
chasing words like sugarcane;
asphyxiation in August
left me searching for solace.
Miraculous accidents impart
panic, for the hopeless I pray,
great lakes swell in my eyes
when the hills echo your name-
just tear me into parts
and I'll pour the champagne.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Street signs read
"turn back now",
spread out in your flatbed,
still alive somehow;
tribulations past
sun set on new days,
catching the draft,
thin papers & ash trays.
Strong winds carry
us, rolling past towers,
redwoods, mahogany,
light up after hours;
near the end of the road
and with no sign of slowing,
passions plateaued
but devotions still growing.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
You are somewhere in the sky,
    I’m not even sure if you are real anymore.
         I will stay here on Earth, boiling, tossing
  Wildly under your spell, all the while.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
I see many stars,
just staring down the bottom
of an empty can.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Rust on your elbows
and tarnished teeth
since the night I met you, those
eyes took my ability to breathe
like something that was meant
to be let go, nostalgia grips,
discontent and fruits ferment
with you, no last minute trips.
Instant gratification
is not for me, gut instincts
never failed me, altercations
between heart and soul, distinct
whispers advising me
to leave, insipid acts,
humdrum enquiries for beauty
and love lapsed.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Innocence escaping
like water drops condensing
on old stained windows, youths playing,
tracing faces posed to sing
tunes of birds ascending;
gravity is shifting,
all my hopes are sinking
falling up past cirrus clouds, consenting,
leave me with no marks showing
where we've been or what we're doing;
screaming, kicking, shouting,
enduring the grief of falling
on the other side, rictus radiating,
moonlit opals edifying
still most gratifying.
Zoe Averill Ren Sep 2020
I've devoured all of the parts of me
that weren't strong enough
to stand on their own,
flossing with ligaments left over
from weak muscles torn, given up,
gums bloodied by bone splinters.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Sacrificial wind,
powerful and frightening,
blew open the door.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Witness the phase of our universe,
serpentine circles, feeding on ego,
cycles bring demise and rebirth
shifting sands reveal paths, where we go
and why we go there, truth buried
deep like love below gleaming edifices,
living in a crease so temporary
it's pointless is what it is;
relinquish undue sorrows,
cherish time and treasures
abundant, watch the grass grow
and let go of the pressures
of everything you know,
sweet scents and secrets
I wouldn't keep from you though,
this is my weakness;
waiting so many millions of years,
spirit unimpressed,
depressed by the massacres
but to know you, I am blessed,
first sight of sunlight
here to nourish the masses,
something finally feels right
until this Heaven, too, passes.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
A sliver of light appears,
an angel smiles sweetly
heaving air into my lungs,
expanding like ship sails.
The sun doesn't rise
without your lips tracing hills;
shoulder blades and spinal valleys
reflect bright rays.
Stomp on vital organs,
leave a print so I may follow,
to get lost would be the end,
the perfect wave to pull me under.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Took the strength of three
of me to align the planets with
the tone of your voice reflecting
fragments I see, "would be"
clinging to me like bedstraw
on my laces, shiftless
smiles I plead are true,
clairvoyance fulfilled fantasies
that I'd had minimal faith in,
rotting and hosting mildew;
regression inevitable and eremitic
more like a shield than an excuse
but no one seems to know the difference
between the two, this heresy tastes acidic
when everything I believe suggests
that there is purpose here concealed
in the cracks with blooming marigolds,
promises sealed in the irises of my eyes,
still unsure of the origins of this intensity
and allegiance I am accursed to uphold.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Always used to dance fearlessly
never caring who, you
caught a glimpse, skirts swaying
in a pleated breeze; afternoon
winds blow in reservation
like an ephemeral season's
unforgiving deliverance.
Matured, promiscuity a dagger,
a defense mechanism in adolescence,
but I may have been wiser
than to imagine their touch
could save me from all
the things I never knew, pained me more
than the gore on the big screens.
Finding devotion like kissing God,
rolled in like high tide past midnight
uninvited and looking for a score;
the moon holds vigilance above my heart,
sinking and emerging recurrently,
left to drown in an endless sea
from which there will be no rescue.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Each nascent love life grants
grows more deeply,
much like roots reaching,
plummeting through stiff earth
unable to recant.
Wrinkles rougher and
affections ripened
much like years passing,
seeding the ground with pieces of me
I have lost.
Woven and nurtured
by the pudendum of time,
much like waters running,
carrying away the sorrows
of this industrial land.
This notion that burns
in me cannot be tamed
much like fires roaring,
bellowing smoke and sparks
to illuminate this once sullen sky.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Voids of pure umber,
twins that wane and wax
flashes inducing thunder,
quakes 'til my knees collapse.
Osculation causing solar flares,
cerise hued crescents
strip away my cares,
steeped in evening's luminescence.
Deluges of jubilation,
a dream one could drown in, lucidity;
settled like stone in this ocean basin,
these breaths I give willingly.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Your dark, sweet essence
overwhelms all of my senses,
How do I go on?
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Visions of them leaving,
evidence such as this I have not
for my claims, just a feeling
that I trust... I have no choice.
What is there to do but believe?

Burn me with your tongue;
I question your innocence
before I obviate my doubts,
piling up like bodies in winter.
There is no room for this despondency.

Your touch an effigy of permanence
accompanied by sea salt -
scents I need to drown in
if I am to ever forget
how your fingers felt on my skin.

My eyes subdued fail to tell
all that my anima screams fervently;
lips sewn, I cannot deceive, but you,
you certainly saw this coming.
Duplicitous cruelty, tectonic shifts when you leave.

Perpetual ivory haunting; I remember everything,
how you built me and beat me to a mass of abdicable flesh.
Too late for limpidity, you call me on a camp adventure
while I'm still singing "defeated", my faith electrified, I ask...
Is it a surprise now they're all gone?

I am not them.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
But it feels like I've been dreaming
for far too long somehow,
I should have woken up by now-
whilst we're serving sincerity
with varying levels of severity
I should admit that I am less afraid
to fight, a fool I'd be made
before I'd find myself wandering.
I don't know that I could bring
myself to get lost again,
in need of somewhere to begin-
honesty has taken me places
far from stability, thin traces
electrify me, my mind infested
& set free I've been, blessed
by angels, visions gleaming.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
A single emotion
breathing down my neck,
clinging to the axel
for the past ninety-six miles.
Some days I feel stronger
than others, some days
I seek an end
that's no where in sight.
Two point perspective
leading me down
the rabbit's hole, somewhere
I swore I would never go.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Insides swelling, churning,
lovely gazes turning,
the fire climbs each story
until my top's off overflowing.
A kiss for me,
drop one in the quarter machine,
gum ***** bubbles floating
amidst this droll summer breeze, serene.
From way up here one cannot see
the woodland bees or the hemlock tree;
a lonely tune begins to play-
the winds sing of my sweet Gemini.
Now ashes fall in honor,
everything in me for offer,
violet skies whisper, "but...
we can't stay much longer."
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Dedication struck me like embers
on the soles of fire walkers,
lightning sketching lines connecting
the constellation of heat lining
the horizon; not meant for me
in this lifetime, rest at ease.
Consternation accompanies loves,
following her around streets of
carmine colored cornertstones;
abrasion leaving skin and bones
strewn across the dining table,
the ground we tread so unstable.
Veneration swallows me whole
rendering me a defenseless soul
to discover power in vulnerability
and meditate on his philosophy;
high winds dispel frustrations,
pure simplicity of liberation.
Elation stays but briefly,
dismantling me completely
discarding crooked smiles
in alleyways, crawled for miles
just to get there,
redolence of honey in the air.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Words carry burden grander than
the ships that move armies
across the vast shifting chasm;
waves invisible, pounding drums-
Words hit like when you land,
feeling oneness
with gravity for the first time
in months, cauterized.
Words drive men to the edge
of the world, to pull them back in
for slaughter, fresh domain
can't change old ways.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Focus falters
when you step, cacophony,
craters reflected in white waters
revealing stars, sky wanderers.
Seventy-two
degrees, oculus lost to sea,
crowned tops and fires anew,
agressions popping like corkscrews.
Pressed together,
tightly, hands against me,
salvation depends on whether
we can balance this feather.
Heavy heart's fortitude
determined to be free,
abstruse admiration ballyhooed,
green-eyed threats I elude.
x.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
x.
Formal tags and titles
have no meaning here,
mere words like any other
transparent and elusive
with no real grasp,
ghosts that move like shadows;
but in a human heart
it's known that an era existed
when all that fought
to push the blood through my veins
every day, was you.
Time evades me
and all matters come to close,
memories opalescent
reflect your tongue
in the mirror, I see strangers
becoming friends, and strangers again.
Zoe Averill Ren Oct 2018
Anxieties like dancing
with flames when
the winds change,
third degrees burns
I was waiting for,
debating when to digress, and where.
Necessities not but desires
another story, shines brighter
when you're pulling passion
out of me like stiltskin
weaving gold out of the ache
in my chest, runs deep through my bones.
Yours I was since summer's end
and in my heart will always be
the echoes of sea gulls calling
me to a place I am not welcome
since the moon fell, crashed
making waves and my lungs deluged.

— The End —