What do you do when your illusions shatter?
When someone who you thought was your dearest
closest friend, the one who could rely on...
Shows again and again that she doesn't care?
That she isn't who you thought she was
Or maybe she's grown up, grown apart, grown different?
What do you do if you still care?
If you reach out your arms to eyes that don't see them?
Plead to ears that don't want to hear?
How long do you stay in place, arms open?
Wait and wait for your turn to talk?
How do you believe that it's over?
How do you deal when the friend you thought would always listen
Brushes away your deepest, humiliating fears with a laugh?
Who shrugs when you told her you needed her, and she wasn't there?
Shrugs because of course -- of course! -- her life is
more important than your own. Her sorrows more tragic.
You are merely to profit from her examples.
How do you react when you realize
this person who thinks she knows you so well
Doesn't know you at all? Barely as much as that stranger
You just met, but who listens when you tell them what you want
And who you are. Who thinks of you as a person
Not someone who should reside in her head.
How difficult it is to let go of an illusion
Even though you've been lonely for so long
To abandon hope is another thing altogether
To turn your back on the past and break
those fragile threads. To look ahead and
Never look back again.
There is no shatter as if of broken glass
Fragile but till now protected.
No cry of anguish except in one heart.
And that's not audible. But if
You listen closely, you might hear
The last threads of fabric tear.

I'm tired of being the one who listens.
I'm tired of being the one who calls.
The one who ends silences.
The one who breaks down walls.



The one who never shows anger.
The one who never asks.
And the one who will remember
But wear a smiling mask.



Old friends are better than new.
They know you without needing to ask.
But I wish that sometimes you
would, even if you know, still ask.



I'm tired of the distances.
Of having to work at keeping it alive.
Excuse me my absences:
I may - or may not - be back in a while.

Turn off the light,
Close your eyes,
Trying to sleep,
At the day’s demise.
Think of your day,
All the people you met,
Pick a special moment,
Mark the date.
Think of the future,
Or maybe the next day,
Of all your plans,
And how to make a way.
Think of someone,
Their eyes, their smile,
Think of their words,
Whether they hurt or beguile.
Think of the past,
Of your childhood,
Think of all the people,
Who helped you into adulthood.
Imagine possible situations,
Maybe cry a bit,
Lose yourself to sleep,
‘Till, again, the world is lit.