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 Oct 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Sanity.
 Oct 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Man, oh man.
Not this **** again.
Now I'll be torn between the two.
Make up some elaborate story in my head for me and you
Should I pick this guy?
He makes me laugh.
Should I pick that guy?
he's got money, even though that's not everything...
its more than half.
Lets put them on a rubric.
Whoever scores highest wins my hand.
But the boys have a different plan.
Seems like, whoever scores highest wins a hand down my pants.
But I went ahead and set my self up.
Acting like I'm surprised that they wanna ****.
Because I chose to ignore the obvious signs that they weren't up to much....

Do insane people notice it when they go insane?
Because half of my brain thinks these boys want me,
but the other half knows its really me who wants them
And half of me thinks I might be a little off my rocker
but the other half knows to keep that bolted in a locker.
Do the insane conceal their crazy parts until explosion?
As if they ****** eats away like natural erosion.
Do they feel it happening?
Can they see their own symptoms,
and hide it, until one poor victim,
glances into the soulless eyes of the crazy murderer of hearts
Saying "I allow myself to be torn apart"
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Nirvana
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Someone find me peace
Find me a silence that is terrifyingly deep
Find me a white noise in the background of dreams
Find the voices and calm them please
Find the crazy and bring it to it's knees
Find a gun to shoot it between
Large eyes glowing green
Find anything that might make me feel free
If you see that I'm chained, find the key

Someone find me kindness
In the hearts of the open-minded
Find the heartless
Give them each a piece of my heart so I can hurt less
Find the tired and lonely and hardheaded
Tell them to stop making the sun shine less
Find me the the ones who make the timed tests
They need to tell me how much time I have left

Someone find my Nirvana
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Charlene
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
She doesn't see how pretty she is,
Especially when she laughs,
She doesn't know how happy she can be
When she isn't worried about the past
I want her to know how wonderful she is
Her company will be gone too fast
She should know that I love her
Even if she thinks no one else does
She should know that she's going to be great
Even if no one else knows
That she'll be beautiful, and create perfect things
She's the girl of the most stubborn mans dreams
Her name is Charlene
And I hope she loves where she's going
She's the first friend who will never truly leave me.
As you sip your morning coffee
Or tuck into your toast
Remember all the good things
And those you love the most
Cos this could be your last day
For giving up the ghost

So we'll celebrate you madly and sing to Elton John
The bottle looks quite empty as we
Celebrate your gone
Now your 6ft under
We'll sing to you your song
We'll ...sing.. to you your song  

You could fall out a window
From way up in the sky
Walk into a plank thats there
Drops you like a fly
I'll bet your just not thinking as
It drives you of the edge
The devil an the deep blue sky are
Really quite impressed


So we'll celebrate you madly and sing to Elton John
The bottle looks quite empty as we
Celebrate your gone
Now your 6ft under
We'll sing to you your song
We'll ...sing... to you your song  

A look into the heaven's
Or is this living hell
To wondered all this fuss round here
It's hotter and you smell
So welcome to the place I love
Welcome to our world
Welcome to this place called earth
Welcome to my hell  
Welcome to my hell..
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
I dont get it
He's the angel child when I work so hard
There is too much blood, and sweat for me to fall down so far
Too many tears for the rope to split
Too much pain to end it all like this
But there's an invisible hand holding scissors and I don't know who it is
I'm just hoping that my rope is thick
As they saw away
Day by day
I start to get sick
There's no hope for climbing, no way up
I'm thinking my last option is to jump
Because I'm almost at the top, that means its a long way down
Hopefully I'll pass out from fear before I hit the ground
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying my best
But my best falls just short of the rest
And I'm only thinking of one way out
I could survive if this was a river, but there's been a drought
So all that remains at the bottom of my mountains
Are dried up rivers, and the seconds are being counted
In my head I'm thinking maybe if I let the thoughts win
It just might rain again.
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
I guess I'm that girl
The one you see sitting on your doorstep after work everyday
The one looking for you during every storm out of fear that you might be blown away
The girl that can't seem to get her mind away from you for more than a few moments
The one who holds you when you start to feel broken

You see, I'm THAT girl
The one who is searching for perfect in all the wrong places
The one who thinks love is when your gone but your thinking of her making silly faces
The one who thinks that just because you throw her a kiss every now and then your supposed to care
But for some reason, your never there
And I'm the girl who thinks thats fair

First comes work
Then family
Then basketball
Then rest
THEN me
And I'm still that girl
Who thinks maybe we can last past this summer
Hoping the kiss you gave means more and I wonder, if every day I'm just getting dumber and dumber

Because I am still THAT girl
Waiting for forever.
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
Kids
 Sep 2013 sweetie pie
Jay
What can I say? We're just a couple of kids.
Who wanna get so ****** up we don't remember what we did,
And it can't be that bad right?
We're just tryna have a good night.
So roll up that blunt and pour some of that lean
Someone has to have a whip, we're gonna make a scene,
Go rob a couple grocery stores for some good *** snacks!
The girls down there have some real nice racks.
Living our lives like every rap song
Find ourselves asking what could go wrong?
 Aug 2013 sweetie pie
Sad Girl
I've been thinking, lately, I've been thinking a lot.
I don't want to be alive and I also don't want to die.
I'm just existing. No friends. No purpose. Nothing.
Just here. And this constantly bothers me because
everyone seems to have something or be doing something.
I feel constantly alone and while I'm alone I contemplate
doing the most rash and unreasonable things.
I'm scared for myself because I don't know exactly
what I am capable of when feeling this helpless.
I know I'll be getting into trouble sooner or later.
I just want to rush back to my old ways and say
**** recovery, because what has it done for me?
Caused me misery and allowed my mind to run
rampant with these awful thoughts. What would
you do in my position? I don't have money and no one
will hire me. I can't travel, I have no love life. I've lost
all of my friends and I can't quite pull myself together
on my own. I need help. What would you do?
This is not a poem. Just a stream of my thoughts.
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