This silence is too loud to bear.
As the internal screams pierce the stale air.
My feet feel nailed to the ground;
although I'd like to run away
I'm trapped by all that's around.
My prayers to God are shouted at the top of my lungs - in my private room.
still it seems only a whisper he cannot discern - when done praying the problems resume.
Though I'm surrounded by friends, family & those I love so dearly,
I feel so alone, secluded & lost as I can never express myself clearly.
They shower me with praise, or appreciation or reassurance
My auto-reply is "Thank you" while inside I'm losing endurance.
They say "you're so strong. Keep up the good deeds"
Yet no one asks me if I'm fulfilling all my needs.
Financially secure, well-fed & comfortable home.
In a job that I despise, eating unbalance unhealthy meals, and feeling so alone.
The internal screams get louder with each passing day
As I wonder when they will become so loud that God finally finds me a way
To find peace
Silent the screams
The internal torment
Deliver me from these demons
That haunt me & taunt me
And seek to devour me
So that I can hear The sweet sounds of silence again.