This is not your role. You're not here to stay. But don't forget your lines. Say it anyway... "I love you. I can't live without you in my life. I want to make you my wife"

You play the part well! but you're not the one. You will be replaced when the real star comes.

Of course my part doesn't change. I will promise to love you forever. I will say my heart is yours. That with you my life feels better. But these words aren't meant for you. I'm just practicing my lines. I'm so good at it now.  I've been rehearsing a long time.

You're just another stand in. In a long line of men. The auditions have not finished. That they will, who knows when? But your role here is done.. Call in the next one...

© 2012

Saying my "goodnight"s to God my prayer inadvertently strays
As my mind starts to wander in a million different ways.
I reflect on where we started thousands of years in the past,
When our first parents made a poor choice with consequences that would a long time last.
Imagine:
Not having to pray to God thru Christ his son
But rather speaking to him as a friend one-on-one.
As you walk in your garden with no property bounds
You delight in the peace with the animals & the variety of sounds.
But alas that deadly bite they took
And the hope of everlasting life forsook.
Their once perfect bodies now began to decay
And onto their offspring this curse did relay.

So the wheels in my head now spin
To my inheritance of sin
And my determination to overcome
The inherent sin to which most succumb.

Though the enemies try to fight
To bring me down with all their might
I know there is a stronger power
A refuge & strong tower
Into which I'm able to run
When my own strength is done

Because although we're born from them
God's word like a precious gem
Promises that to us he will incline
Because between our sin & perfection is a fine line.

He made us in HIS image out of love
Exercising His power from the heights above
Instantly displaying His justice when His purpose was diverted
In His infinite wisdom knowing His true lovers could not be converted.

Promising to us he would restore
Conditions of the Earth as they were before
Paying with the life of his Son the ultimate price
So that all exercising faith could once & always live in Paradise..

© 2012

I won't write of the "L" word or that I'm feeling sad
This poem is not about the horrible day I had.
I won't try to inspire you with philosophical prose
Or tell you about colors of flowers like a rose.
I want to confuse you
Amuse you
Abuse your mind
your thoughts maligned.

With poetry you undress yourself layer by thin layer
Each word, verse, poem or page reveals who you are,
where you've been, how you've been treated, your reasons for despair.

Birthmarks, bad hair, too fat, too thin
you hide your shy smile, or a big toothy grin.
Eye color, the size of your nose too big for your face
imagined only by you but these thoughts have no base.

To others you are beautiful, funny, amazing,
confident, conceited, smart, loyal, sincere.
Against your own knowledge or impression
all these quirks to you others endear.

It doesn't matter what part of the world you are from on this Earth
Even from thousands of miles away through poetry we can evaluate your great worth.

Thank you for sharing yourselves with us
For enlightening our lives
Thank you for giving us your perspective
and with each word making us realize

For you life is ... something different ... than it is for me.

© 2012

I can't really say for sure if I ever knew true love, because I have never understood a clear definition of what it is.  I see in the movies - guy meets girl, woos her, they fall in love & live happily ever after;  I see family / friends seemingly in love but bickering, fighting, unfortunately sometimes never reconciling.  I can truthfully say I have known many loves in its innumerable forms. I have opened my heart only to close it again due to fear, uncertainty, doubt or deceit.  I have promised my undying love to not just a few, only to steal my heart back treacherously as if it would cause them no pain.  How could it possibly - they lived successfully before they knew or loved me - yet, what if it did?  and why am I so "numb" to that pain.  Why don't I feel the sting of ripping my OWN heart out of my OWN chest and trampling it every time someone tries to love me? I don't want to be loved - because that leaves me vulnerable to getting hurt.
But I DO want to be loved - God only knows where I'll find it.

© 2012