Why does my heart freeze up
when
 I read words you’ve written?

How is it that

I can read writing 

that makes my heart press hard to escape my ribs

But yours liquidates my blood
Until my fingers go numb?

It’s like this

You’ve got a canyon filled with knowledge

On how to hurt

You’ve got a library filled with textbooks

On how to make a heart drop 

You’ve got a sky filled with rain clouds 

That drop tears you’ve inspired
into the eyes of others.

Everything you touch
is sent into a whirlwind orbit. 

You’re important

You’re dangerous

You’re vital

You are never merely an effect.
You affect me. 

Never forget that.

The shutters are shut,
The blinds, closed.
If we see what we feel,
What we see is real.

Strides that match,
Measures of love.
Colors blend,
Nobody would judge.

An angsty, grey sky,
Heav'n's rays shine through.
People notice the sunshine,
Fingertips drinking up the dew.

His loving embrace around her,
Or him.
We're not truly free,
While equality is seen as sin.

The shutters are shut,
The blinds, closed.
If we see what we feel,
What we see is real.

You can’t always **** me goodbye.
A way with your words and a way with your hands.
It was always easy to get you into bed,
  I knew I should’ve took that for a sign.
We’ve got no strings, no guarantees
  only our zipped lips that take the change we put in our pockets.
We could talk forever but I’ll always have to look up
and you will always have to look down.
Always and forever you are my ringing circle,
my fatal sun.

Sometimes ***** tastes like you.
Like having *** on the bathroom counter.
Like pizza movie nights.
Like getting high on the roof while reading poetry.
Like eating you out in the back of that church.
Like crashing that car in the field behind your house.
Like playing the guitar on your back porch.
Like the sound your horrid contagious laughter.
Like drawing hearts on each other's backs with crayola markers.
Like your tongue after the first cigarette.
Like you and me.
Like you.
Like us.
Like you.

She is seventeen

She heard his wish - the boy who wished upon her at the balcony. She heard his worries. About how he is worried of not passing his examination, about the way his parents treat him and about the way his heart never settles since the day he left his significant other.
                             "Was it my fault?"
He asked as he buried his head in his palms and stare at the falling stars on that one lucky night. A moment there he felt like the star answered him. A moment there he felt the star is looking at him in hopes he feels the magical feeling she is feeling now that she is seventeen. The magical feeling she felt and how she is too naive that she fell at first sight on the boy who told him his worries. She fell to the earth of her feelings.

She is seventeen.

Was it really hope? Did she really fell in love with hope? Or was it still the boy on that balcony? She felt the presence of faith and she knew faith was always right. By the time she really fell head over heels on hope, faith brought a friend.
     Trust.
Was she strong enough to trust?
Was she strong enough to have faith in her hopes.
                                   Yet she still has hopes on waking up the next day with faith by her side and trust in her heart.
        So, how does it feels to really felt right?
                         How does it feels to have the feelings at the right places?

She is seventeen.

"Do I really want to stay like this forever?" She asked herself.
               To have no worries and be a child at heart and out. To escape the reality when she really need reality to escape the magical feelings.
Did she really took Peterpan's hand and flew to Neverland and never came back?
                                     Did the sleeping pills worked?
When the clock strikes 6, and the morning came, her mom at her door knocks on thrice.
                                "Jane, wake up." With a voice as soft as the feelings of her comforters that surrounds her body.
                                                           ­             "In a minute."
She took his hand and flew to Neverland but once she saw the mermaids in Mermaid Lagoon, she swam and fell in love with water. She sat on a rock and hold Peter's hand and again she felt those magical feelings again. She kissed Peter's cheek and told him,
                                                            ­   "I need to escape this magical feelings."
And so she woke up on her bed.

She is seventeen.

Forgiving was hard.
           Forgetting was harder.
Yet, those words seems so easy for her now.
                                              The magical feelings that has long gone, made it harder.
She swam through life and sometimes she would choke on the water and stop. But she knows the ocean is big and she never stopped swimming. She met the dolphins and fishes, she even met a few big waves. But she knows there will be a boat right behind her to save her when she's drowning.
        Sometimes she felt it is stupid for her to not sculpt her life before doing anything but she loves the water ever since the Mermaid Lagoon so she continues what she loves. Sometimes she feels someone looking upon her like the boy at the balcony who told her his worries. She felt the pixie dust who tried to help her bit by bit; trying to let her fly and skip the horrendous waves.
                                                          ­Sometimes she used it
                                                              ­      Sometimes she told him no and she swam again.

She is seventeen.

Yet she danced on Jupiter, hopped on the rings of Saturn, fell in love at first sight, went to Neverland, met the mermaids, her first love was someone who never want to grow up, and she swam the oceans. *Was she still a beautiful aurora?

We are born into the world,
and we think that it is good,
that no one would ever hurt us,
and wouldn't even if they could.

The world is full of smiles,
people long to see our face,
there's no heartbreak, tears or failure,
only hope and endless grace.

But then we see more clearly,
and some things begin to change.
Our fairytale world crumbles,
and our blue skies turn dark gray.

The smiles have all been replaced
with hatred, fights and pride.
Fingers are crossed in promises,
leaving faith and trust behind.

Hope melts away so quickly,
and our false foundation sinks.
We see things as they truly are,
or at least that's what we think.

But then we see more clearly,
past the pretend fairytale,
and the made-up horror film,
and we finally see what's real.

Nothing is all good or bad,
but if one little tiny flame,
can light a room of darkness,
then light wins, and hope remains.

I understand how you couldn't be there
For school or sports
I understand that you couldn't be there for Christmas or my birthdays
You were working
Always working
But you know what I don't understand
How you couldn't at least call or stop by
Even if it was just for a few minutes
And when you do
You yell and scream
Telling me about how I'm not good enough
That I am a failure
A waste of a good name
My life plays in front of you
You didn't hear my pleading and crying
Where the hell have you been
Have you been well?
Getting everything you wanted?
You don't seem to notice when I'm hurt
When I skip a meal
Yet I still notice when you are tired and feeling down
That's the problem here
I've been there for everything you do and try for
I supported you even when I knew you would fail
You haven't done ****
You don't see when I am unhappy
You don't notice when I don't come out of my room for days
I am never going to be the best there ever was
It is just not going to happen
Just like how you aren't going to be there for me
I get that now
You won't be there for me
And I won't be there for you