Coming on in leaps and bounds
surveying all that he surrounds
banging on his playpen
nearly knocking it over again
think he’s gone to big for that thing
maybe a hang from the door swing
I got him a walker
he just sits still
becomes a talker
it seems that once he’s given the freedom
no longer wants it, more secure in his kingdom
maybe its out of his comfort zone?
makes him feel lost and alone

Is this the same for all of us
banging the walls, making a fuss
if our every wish was granted
would we suddenly feel stranded?
if we live without hope
pretty soon we run out of scope
we need something to rebel against
otherwise our thoughts are filled with angst

Cuddles, forehead kiss

moments of pure bliss

fingers intertwined

trust underlined

that just for you smile

work can wait awhile

Hugging my pillow

it smells of you

wilting like a willow

I’m lost without you

Trying to lighten the press of years

curbing self-pitying tears

my grip on sanity tenuous

the act of smiling strenuous

for a while now I’ve wanted to leave

give my body a reprieve

my soul has long since left

my aching bones bereft

my kids visit begrudgingly

albeit acting lovingly

easy to sense when somethings not real

I send out a silent appeal

Persuade the doctors  to let me go

my quality of life is gone, you know

the stroke has robbed me of many joys

much more than even I realise

I can no longer touch

I want to so much

not able to read or write

trapped, stolen, my sight

Ironically I can only communicate with my eyes

and their pleading for you to quicken my demise

an extra pill now and then

a wrong dose of medicine

I resent your care

the way my grandkids stare

this home is my cell

can’t you tell?

Let me fall into a deep sleep

you won’t hear a sound, not a peep

I’ll go knowing, I was wrong, your love was real

you finally heard my silent appeal

Poetry
my eraser of misery
a balm to my soul
keeps my being whole
where would I be
without my
poetry

The writer

wonders and wanders

wishing for a whisper

from his muse

to pen away his blues

You hit me so hard

I couldn’t breathe

marking your card

I inwardly seethe

Sleeping so soundly

the tablets worked

grinning broadly

suitcase packed

My emotions you’ve stirred
around you I’m never bored
Your certainly not a yes man
if you were I wouldn’t be a fan
You challenge me constantly
a better person I aim to be
Our differences are great
healthy debates they create
we often reach a stalemate
You and me, I celebrate

Ever-darkening storm clouds
cluttering up my perfect blue sky
their temper my peace shrouds
awaiting for them to let fly

Raining on my parade
no room in my world for a grinch
keeping up my happy charade
from their expression I flinch

I sneakily exit the room
returning to my contented place
they can drown in doom and gloom
on my visage, their mood, no trace

Zips up her sheepskin attire
pastes on her smile
cuts her latest desire
with a look that beguiles

I’m a *** bomb

ready to explode

you never detonate

so I implode

Genevieve is a frump

a big fat lazy lump

walter decided to dump

she really got the ****

and gave him a mighty thump

Early to rise, early to bed
gives me a dull head
I try this path to tread
but it takes me forever to retire to bed
once I get there it can become my homestead

I can’t help it I was born this way
I could stay up all night and sleep all day
If only life didn’t get in the way

Our souls are entwined

our dreams, one mind

to others, were blind

our love, the lasting kind

You said I was unique

didn’t know you meant freak

said you would cherish me

I wasn’t ready for the jealousy

said you’d always share your feelings

did that have to be through beatings?

I thought you were wooing me verbally

you were telling me how it was going to be

We interpret things differently

He oozes oil

down to his fingertips

his winning smile

devouring your hips

he’ll spread his seed anywhere

creates offshoots, he doesn’t care

Oh, how I want this moment to last
must I consign it to my past
Can I savour its mystery
before it becomes history

I’m holding it tight in my brain
replaying it again and again

I’ll have to let it go
a nice memory, I know
It is with sadness
I let this moment pass

Swaying in time to the rhythm

my eyes focussed on him

my object of desire

my ***** on fire

each touch

made me blush

turned my knees to mush

he smiled my heart did a cartwheel

I was hungry, he was my meal

obsessed like only a teenager can be

already planning matrimony

he thanked me for the dance

didn’t give me a second glance

grabbed the hand of my best friend

my dreams came to an end

Throw caution to the wind

let the breeze catch your hair

live a little dangerously

set yourself free

If your head is in the clouds

you might as well read them

be receptive to your dreams

from where hope streams

Tap into the boomerang effect

when you need to let go

if its for you it will be back

thats all you need to know

If a chapter closes

there’s a new book on the horizon

read it with an open mind

who knows what you’ll find

Cradling her newborn in her arms
resisting his obvious charms
hesitantly approaching the steps
taking a long, deep, breath

Whispering a prayer
“God give me strength”
placing her son on the ground
he not uttering a sound

Then his body shakes convulsively
she knows her addiction is his
she knocks on the door and runs
not stopping to see who answers

Scouring the news next day
headlines resonating within
they’ve called him ‘Billy’
to her he’ll always be Paul

There weaning him of the stuff
and looking for his mum
that will never be her
she’s done the right thing

Thinking of his brilliant future
makes her heart sing

Sitting behind the curtain
deep inside hurting

peeping out the window
praying they’d just go

Taunts, jeers, stones
sadness seeping into her bones

What has she done?
nothing, she’s just one

Eggs, yogurt thrown
all her hope flown

already been reported
but harder they retorted

She no longer asks for help
with each new pain a little yelp

She’s drowning in despair
nobody seems to care

Love whispered in the breeze
I wasn’t ready made me freeze
love nudged me insistently
ignored it persistently
love tapped me on the back
refused to walk that track
love stopped chasing me
I missed its company

I realised though I declined
it was always there at the back of my mind
I opened my heart and let love in
now in front of friends and kin
I accept love’s company evermore
and share it with whoever knocks at our door

I want to be loved for myself

not because I have a nice shelf

My eyes are higher

raise your gaze, squire

I know I have a nice rack

keep talking to it and I won’t be back

So yes lads, admire

lustful thoughts, inspire

but remember that I’ve got a brain

and high heels that can cause pain

Secreted in a padded cell
Inside silently yells
his secrets he won't tell
there goes the medicine bell

She walks filled with nerves
at every sound she swerves
her bravery he deserves
his medicine she serves

As usual he's at the hatch waiting
his demeanour she's contemplating
the system she's hating
no help for him grating

They only want to keep him quiet
so they can sleep well at night
they don't want to hear his plight
or what makes him such a sorry sight

Abandoned and abused at an early age
filled him with sadness and rage
thoughout his life at every stage
he's been locked in some sort of cage

Filled with pity
she can only feel sympathy
she wishes she could challenge the powers that be
and unravel this mans mystery

She sneaks him the key every day
hidden under the plastic tray
but he's never tried to get away
in this solitary he chooses to stay

Maybe life is easier for him here
Set routine, nothing to fear
Out slips a solitary tear
as she hears him say "thank you dear"

My first love
not love
an obsession
an all consuming need

School
what’s that?
plans gone
at the drop of his hat

Every waking moment
filled with him
every dream contained him

I fell pregnant at nineteen
had fell for him at thirteen
I had a beautiful son
he became my new obsession

My beau was no longer
my sole reason for living
no longer (him) all my attention giving

He was jealous of his own son
something even now I can’t comprehend

He never hit me before
this being that I adored
for months he wore me down
on my face a worried frown

I had to go home to mum
tail between my legs
got my own place sorted
all plans with him aborted

He went on to do evil acts
I’m not privy to all the facts
he died alone in a prison cell
couldn’t handle his private hell

He’s left a scar on my heart
one from which I don’t want to part
because he had me beguiled
and gave me my darling child

He’s a ghost from the past
that I feared would haunt me forever
now I rarely think of him if ever

Walking around with his nose in the air
thinking he’s so debonair
missing important stuff as he go
things he doesn’t even know
his mouth is as large as his ego
thinks everyone should go with his flow
believes they wait for his magic to unfold
their feelings he doesn’t want to be told
a harsh taskmaster
wants everything faster
he’s an awful boss
him, I wouldn’t like to cross

I smiled

you growled

I laughed

you cried

I tried

you denied

I loved

you hated

I died

you killed

Fragile things
heart strings
easily pulled and
tightened
often scared and
frightened
old hurts can make
them close
how long to open
nobody knows
beware if its yours
that’s been pulled
into a false sense of
security
you can be lulled
Fragile things
heart strings

Cup overfilling
passion spilling
head spinning
body winning

Time passes so slow
basking in loves afterglow
contemplating getting up
but hoping for another sup

My name is Ben
I am ten
I’m down by the glen

It’s quite lonely here
Just me, Dad and the deer

We’ve ran away, you see
I don’t know who’s looking for me
My mam and maybe Lucy who’s three

My mam wanted us to go
Away from Dad, and all I know

To make a fresh start
In some foreign part
I told Dad, he called mum a ****
and said over his dead body
Was she taking me

I went for my usual stay
Every Sunday was Dad’s day
He asked me did I want a few days of school
We’d take a trip, I said “cool”

It feels like forever we’ve been here
Me, dad and the deer
I miss my mam, wish she were here
I even miss Lucy, who I thought I didn’t like
But I wish i could hold the little tyke

My name is Ben
I am ten
I’m down by the glen

Clouds meander

stars slumber

moon snores

sun pours

I DON’T WANNA LIVE

I wanna die

‘cos all I can do is cry

YOU LEFT ME

So what am I

HOW DARE YOU DIE

and leave me all alone

who am I going to talk to on the phone

who am I going to tease and squeeze

when all their trying to do is please

I’M SO MAD AT YOU

What do I do

How do I manage this

Oh God, I can still taste your kiss

Still smell your smell

Who am I going to tell

I’M SO CONFUSED

Feel so abused

God I love you so

Why’d you have to go

PLEASE COME BACK

This I can’t hack

I love you so much

I miss your touch

I’M SORRY DEAR

I didn’t mean it

I’ll try and stay strong

and hopefully it won’t be long

‘til were together again

I’LL LOVE YOU

Forever and ever

I’ll forget you never

He promised me ecstasy
I got sausage and chips
He promised me kisses twee
too short on my lips
He got down on one knee
couldn’t get up with his hips
he promised me he was free
my ear his girl clips

The sound of silence
can fill a room
the atmosphere
clouded in gloom
anger permeates the air
not said, but its there

My particular ride

take it in my stride

Fate has orchestrated my path

her decisions, my aftermath

She’s given me ups and downs

some tears and some frowns

She has showered me with joy

bad news actually a clever ploy

She’s a delicious minx

sometimes evil methinks

Must remember she’s just a guide

easy to blame her I’ve tried

She gave me a rough draft

Upto me to hone my craft

Life is made of many lessons

Even bad days have blessings

She supplied me with the gear

upto me what route I steer

So thank you fate

today I’m doing great

Perched on his knee
a time of glee
we were going to play horsey
jumping up and down
always acting the clown
he made me giddy with joy
my uncle, a big strapping boy

My memories are distant
I wrack my brain, torment
trying to think when we stopped visiting
parents busy, his life not permitting

He went down a wrong track
couldn’t find his way back
alcohol ruled him, so I’m told
he still young, but his body old
he died at thirtythree
alone unfortunately
I’ll always remember him with a smile
he was my role model for a long while

Peeping through a forbidden door

which I’d closed years before

memories that exalt and destroy

momentary joy

then tears I cry

It had ended in tragedy

caused such misery

gnawing feelings that haunt

remembered passions that taunt

there is no release

Will I ever find peace?