Clouds meander

stars slumber

moon snores

sun pours

Perched on his knee
a time of glee
we were going to play horsey
jumping up and down
always acting the clown
he made me giddy with joy
my uncle, a big strapping boy

My memories are distant
I wrack my brain, torment
trying to think when we stopped visiting
parents busy, his life not permitting

He went down a wrong track
couldn’t find his way back
alcohol ruled him, so I’m told
he still young, but his body old
he died at thirtythree
alone unfortunately
I’ll always remember him with a smile
he was my role model for a long while

My particular ride

take it in my stride

Fate has orchestrated my path

her decisions, my aftermath

She’s given me ups and downs

some tears and some frowns

She has showered me with joy

bad news actually a clever ploy

She’s a delicious minx

sometimes evil methinks

Must remember she’s just a guide

easy to blame her I’ve tried

She gave me a rough draft

Upto me to hone my craft

Life is made of many lessons

Even bad days have blessings

She supplied me with the gear

upto me what route I steer

So thank you fate

today I’m doing great

Caught my eye

a slip of a stare

drifted by

standing my hair

I couldn’t forget that glance

captured my heart

forever, perchance

in my soul, a dart

Searched for you, daily

PLEASE, look again

my eyes gazed at you gaily

you’ll ask me, but when?

You were my first crush

and crushed, was I

turned my knees to mush

when you just walked on by

I’m controlled by invisible string

your my leader, I’m your thing

Do I secretly enjoy

being your toy?

Is all my confidence centred on how you see me?

if you didn’t shout and roar, would I cease to be?

Have I got issues?

blacked out past abuses

Not my first violent relationship

last one ended when he went for a kip

I finished being his wife

with the sharp end of a knife

So who’s controlling who?

Do I like being black and blue?

A common factor you’re both rich

and I’m a conniving *****

so go on hit me again

smile for the hidden lens

He promised me ecstasy
I got sausage and chips
He promised me kisses twee
too short on my lips
He got down on one knee
couldn’t get up with his hips
he promised me he was free
my ear his girl clips

“Just a fling,

didn’t mean anything”

family in ruins

you sing the same tunes

Not the first time

you committed this crime

this crime of passion

downtrodden my new fashion

I’ve met someone new

haven’t told you

but then it’s

“Just a fling,

doesn’t mean anything”

Cup overfilling
passion spilling
head spinning
body winning

Time passes so slow
basking in loves afterglow
contemplating getting up
but hoping for another sup

Standing at a crossroads

not knowing which way to turn

one could be salvation

one crash and burn

No control over his life

drugs and alcohol addicted

all his vices self-inflicted

pleasing anyone who’d buy him a drink

not much lower could he sink

Rehab or an early grave

a decision he could no longer stave

to his addictions a slave

Something had to give

if he wanted to live

he was the only one that

could make the choice

he’d take nobody’s advice

he thought just one more

nobody’s keeping score

he died in a doorway

with a smile on his face

just one hit brought him to another place

Standing at a crossroads

he took the wrong turn

I smiled

you growled

I laughed

you cried

I tried

you denied

I loved

you hated

I died

you killed

He touches my cheek
as light as a butterfly’s wing
He sends tingles down my spine
with that look that says your mine

Fills me with bliss
gentle forehead kiss
Our fingers entwined
a silent message of trust

His gentle caresses
slowly undresses
Together in ecstasy
nowhere else I wanna be

Wishing my life away, dreaming a dream
buying a lotto ticket, not just me
Imagining a win, the cat got the cream
Ah, pay me mortgage, buy a wee mini
Doing whatever I want, be a scream
A few donations, sort out family
oh wow, my life will be heading upstream
If only reverie was reality
all my old sins, I atone and redeem
old friends out of woodwork , a mystery
Suddenly remembered me, it would seem
Basking in luck, revelling in glory
Ah well, may as well dream here as in bed
try getting into black and outta red

I’m scared I’ll be found in a decomposing state

not very social of late

the cat will be licking my bones clean

no-one will be aware, me, they haven’t seen

Think I need to go for a drink

before, into this mood, I sink

reconnect with the girls

dancing shoes need a swirl

Wham, bam

thank you mam

to him your not worth a ****

Your his ****

when he’s down on his luck

when there’s no-one to ****

Your worth so much more

he’ll make your heart sore

show him the door

I saw this angelic little boy
eyes so blue, big head of blond curls,
which he'll probable bemoan in years to come,
gorgeous smile

I realise he's on his own,
can't be more than three
I get down on my hunkers and spread my arms
he doesn't hesitate not even for a second
Oh, the innocence of him as he jumps into my arms
and clasps me in a wondrous hug
I try to get him to talk but he just keeps squeezing my nose
and breaking into fits of laughter
he's adorable

I place him down, and take his hand
I noticed things I hadn't seen his little hands grubby
his skin peeling and sore
his beautiful curls all knotted
and bless him, not a nice smell

I decide to walk him around
see can i find who he belongs to
then this woman comes running, screaming
she grabs him, and slaps him
I'm stunned, he doesn't even cry
he turns and gives me a resigned shrug
what I thought was innocence was pure joy
in someone willing to give a bit of attention
this was a little boy who didn't cry
he's mature beyond his years
he's long since learnt no point in tears
as the woman screams "Have I no children of my own, leave mine alone"

She looks high, I wish I could take this little mite
but what gives me the right
he says "sorry, mommy" takes her hand and leads her home
I just might take that little boy next time he decides to roam

The grass is always green on the other side of life
inhabitants free from trouble and strife
money is flowing, happiness is rife

They never have to learn by their mistakes
no floods, no cutbacks, no heartaches
every day full of lucky breaks

What do they reach for?
what’s eating away at their core?
Do they remember a time before?

I’ll stay on this side
success a source of pride
skills have to be employed

How can we get up if we never fall?
We can’t answer if no-one calls
you have to fail to grow *****

So today I’m going to be the best me
swimming in a sea of uncertainty
experiencing everything is healthy

Everyday we strive
hope makes us thrive
life’s short, no-one survives

I became we

since matrimony

problems shared

feelings aired

no easy ride

some days I haven’t tried

but right now, today

everything’s okay

it’s well worth the trip

were joined at the hip

accepting each others flaws

our achievements, applause

having each other’s back

keeps us on the right track

When silence descends

end of the relationship

when feelings are numb

A man for all seasons
He’s cool as a breeze
He’s colourful as fall
He floats like a cloud
He can like thunder be loud

He’s fast as lightning
He brings summer with his smile
He can scold and be cold
He can have a dry wit

He has eyes that can freeze
He’ll spring to please
Whatever the weather
You won’t meet better

I’m sorry were having a fight
when things bother me I go quiet
I build things up inside,
they maybe small -
but because there held in so long they sit
and turn my insides into a festering pit
the smallest slight can then become a raging tornado
an uncontrollable reaction
that doesn’t fit the supposed crime
and -
even though I know all this
at the moment I’m still mad
a major disagreement because
of all the little tiffs we never had

I think this kettle has had a good brewing
in my intestinal wall it’s been stewing
and now it’s come to the boil
I’ll have to handle things better
talk -
about the niggling stuff
or I’ll never handle a real patch of rough

I’m writing instead of talking to you
digging my heels in, not answering your call
refusing to scale this wall
this wall that I’ve built
maybe if I give it a little tilt
an inch more -
I can’t scale it yet
it’s looming to large on my horizon
I’m not ready to tear it down yet

I’m sorry *** I’m trying
but -
its taken years to build this wall and now its
oh -
so tall
maybe it will mature and stoop
fade into the background
stop tying me in a loop

But not today
I’m sorry

Oh my eyes are bleary
my very bones are weary

To partake of that pint
was a mistake last night

Its a great saying “just the one”
never happens when alls said and done

I’m never drinking again
ask me on Saturday, around ten

A battered soul
broken, not whole
abused and misused
fragile, confused

Fragmented parts
splintered shards
dealt a bad hand
alone they stand

Picking up the shreds
tightening loose threads
searching for truth
courage, the root

Stronger they be
seek new company
a bright new outlook
life’s an open book

I became we

since matrimony

problems shared

feelings aired

no easy ride

some days I haven’t tried

but right now, today

everything’s okay

it’s well worth the trip

were joined at the hip

accepting each others flaws

our achievements, applause

having each other’s back

keeps us on the right track

Talking about people behind their back
bitterness their only track
of stories they have no lack
truth or fiction they don’t care
challenge them if you dare
seeping poison from their pores
now they’ll only hear my snores
as my silent derision roars
pity them their shallow lives
placing in backs their knives

Tables well and truly turned

chased, originally spurned

I have the power in my hands

the wheel to decide where he lands

Do I switch to self-destruct

my head is ******

Your not wearing my shoes

so don’t know where I’ve walked

you don’t know why I’m feeling blue

but about me you’ve talked

your actions I found taboo

on my black list your name chalked

I’m finding it hard with words to convey
How your actions affected me today

With every poke and every ****
On my feelings you did trod

Yes, you hurt me today
But, by god, your going to pay

When I’m down

Will you be my clown?

When the cards are on the table

Will you be able?

When I want to misbehave

Will you be my willing slave?

When I’m filled with glee

Will you laugh with me?

When my well has dried up

Will you fill my cup?

All of these things you’ve already done

That’s how I know you’re the ‘one

You’ve opened my lock

You’re my steadfast rock

I’ll love you for eternity

It’s always going to be

You and me

I scuttle of into the sunset
my pillows my sunbed
my blanket suns warmth
the pools in my head
I’m swimming a length
my book I have read
my body is spent
this day was a long tread
I’ll sleep back to health

Your fingers curling in my hair

knew I should have shaved there

you asked me had I got a brush

knew I wasn’t getting your tongues touch

I can’t hide how I feel about you

to refrain from kissing you

is all I can do

You used to be mine

I thought I’d be fine

but my feelings are had to define

One moment I’m mad

the next I’m sad

guilt over feelings I’ve had

See I was the one who let you go

for reasons I now don’t know

they seemed so important then

I wish I had that time again

You’ve found someone new

honestly she suits you

she’s bubbly and smart

she’s got you down to a fine art

Your still my friend

I hope that never ends

No longer my lover

always my friend

I’m looking for someone

she’s gone away

she used to be so gay

never a cross word to say

nowadays it’s a mood swing

Where’s she gone?

where’s she hiding?

She used to be patience personified

people’s traits glorified

now she’d be happy if they fried

where she used to laugh, she’s now cried

I can’t find her, I’ve tried

I’m still in love with who I thought you were

The memory of that belief
is what’s causing the grief

I’m still in love with the you
I thought I knew
I despise the real you

I thought I’d found something rare
But you were just a player with flair

I will be okay
there will be a day
that false memory fades away

Standing here lost
pride, what cost?
greeted with frost
looks glaringly crossed

Forgiveness
no, stubborness
feeling powerful
no awful

I never take what’s
not given willingly
my own moral code
righteousness spilling

Do I now feel bolder
no, just a little colder
I could have lay on his shoulder
but my heart as hard as a boulder

I stand here alone and weep
probably tonight, no sleep
I’m feeling like a creep
looking at myself, not a peep

Dicksteered
actions
relationship
fractions
fuelled by lust
marriage bust

If I had a penny for every thought
would I be bedecked in richer cloth
would my opinion be widely sought
or would I be worth nought

Oh for a simple life
free from angst and strife
but maybe I’d be bored to tears
if I had no worries or fears
Do I like been kept on my toes?
What would I talk about if not my woes?
Life has led me a merry dance
Would I pick a quiet one, if I had a chance?

We’ll weather the storm

rainbow follows hurricane

here for each other

Spring, what joy you bring

to every growing, living thing

buds sprout, leaves come out

Winter is giving a might clout

Oh yeah, Spring’s about

Romance
A slow dance
a game of chance
a certain glance
a special circumstance
forever perchance
Romance