Wanting to be coloured pink

but emotions make my vibrancy sink

drowning in my own secretions

my image blurred no distinction

My leaves are wilting

my sanity tilting

feeling only sadness

descending into madness

I’m present
but absent
here
but gone away
body visible
spirit invisible
people talking
not listening
lost
private battle
need
to heal
hibernate

A lot of machines
are a lot like women
you have to read the manual
and press the right buttons

Machines can have a hissy fit
just won’t work thats it
you’ve pressed the wrong button
or turned the wrong key
today machine will cause misery

But treat them right
tend to their needs
and they’ll perform day and night
machine gives out what you feed

So be a good mechanic
be your machines tonic
bring the oil
for you it will toil

but remember
and keep an eye on when
every machine
needs a service now and then

Bloodied lip

fractured hip

his idea of passion

my bones crushing

with each scream

his eyes gleam

my pain

his gain

I’m not submissive

he’s abusive

Opening up

falling

Trusting

fallen

Regretting

broken

Power surges through my finger-tips

as I confidently grab his hips

urging him to go faster

I’ve overtaken as master

My inner goodess purrs

my confidence soars

at his muffled curse

as he comes he roars

But now I’m frustrated

my needs not sated

a moment ago elated

now oddly deflated

Oh, he’s down there

I’m writhing without care

ecstasy, delight

****** in full flight

A blast from the past has invaded my head space

I’m writing this piece in the hope that

this nagging entity in the back of my mind

will hit the release button

a scratch at the back of my mind

and I want it to stop itching

Your my ex

the one that chipped away at my self-esteem

the one that when you were around

I was only happy in a dream

the one that I tiptoed around

like a meek little mouse

He was mean, cruel

and I adored him

like only a blinkered teen girl can

I know it wasn’t love

but an all consuming obsession

I

shot the messengers

the one’s that tried to tell me straight

I didn’t want to hear it then

But now, I’m tracing back in time

the old me to find

the girl I was before I met him

that confident girl who thought the world was her oyster

the girl for six years I locked away

I let her shadow out, until now

I’m going to open that padlock (scary) slowly

I’m going to work on myself

hopefully return to the old me

but an older, wiser and better her

I’m then going to lock him away

in the treasure chest of my past

he’s helped make me what I am

and for a lot of that (not all) I am grateful

because he has given me the gift of empathy

I’m going to look out for a girl like me

and If i can

help

Thanks for reading

this write has been a bit of a journey

and I feel so much lighter

I hope to make my debut soon

Sultry glances

lingering touches

warm the heart of amour

An unspoken vow

passes between us

and its tantalising

Eyes filled with desire

***** on fire

Wow the eroticism

Pulses racing

sweaty palms

imagined delights

Flirty games

building passion

causing arousal

“Later” we whisper

both lust-filled

tortuous afternoon

Body shattered

beyond repair

kicked, battered

bypassers stared

Good Samaritan

no longer exists

fear spreading

guardian’s a myth

Waiting to intervene

hesitatation

ruptured spleen

devastation

For myself, no respect

stood crying

cause and effect

my soul’s dying

I want to be loved for myself

not because I have a nice shelf

My eyes are higher

raise your gaze, squire

I know I have a nice rack

keep talking to it and I won’t be back

So yes lads, admire

lustful thoughts, inspire

but remember that I’ve got a brain

and high heels that can cause pain

The sound of silence
can fill a room
the atmosphere
clouded in gloom
anger permeates the air
not said, but its there

He doesn’t want an opinion
just a meek minion

He buys her pretty things
along as his tune she sings

She’s an empty-headed doll
in his money she likes to loll

She has a lot of intention
to many to mention

He’s the cat that got the cream
she nurtures her own dream

There both actors on a stage
both reading their own page

He thinks she’s a gorgeous fool
she’s biding her time playing it cool

On herself no onus
his demise her bonus

So she smiles on his arm
as he displays her charms

She knows he’s looking for a new one
too old he won’t for long find her fun

Her escape is paid for
won’t need him no more

She kisses him goodnight
then leaves for her flight

Everything’s great except for ***

your always there and caring

but in the bedroom, you leave

and your **** takes over

considerate man becomes a selfish *****

it doesn’t interest you that I don’t come

your only concerned if you don’t

foreplay consists of you asking

actually doing never happens

I’m sick talking about it

because you never listen

if I see that smug smile again

I won’t be responsible

I give you a *******

when you can’t finish

you never think of finishing me

I’m in a constant state of disillusion

don’t believe in affairs

but now see the reason some do

Tables well and truly turned

chased, originally spurned

I have the power in my hands

the wheel to decide where he lands

Do I switch to self-destruct

my head is ******

If you see the wonder of a fairytale
the midnight trysts of the snail
the laughter of the whale
the hammer being hit by the nail

The elephant afraid of the mouse
the cuckoo burgling a house
the old woman who lived in a shoe
the ghost who couldn’t say boo

The giraffe who hated the smell of his feet
the hyena who’s laughter was like a drum beat
the ant-eater who didn’t eat ants
the day Donald Duck forgot his pants

These thoughts made me giggle
I hope it gave a funny bone a tickle

I’m finding it hard with words to convey
How your actions affected me today

With every poke and every ****
On my feelings you did trod

Yes, you hurt me today
But, by god, your going to pay

I saw this angelic little boy
eyes so blue, big head of blond curls,
which he'll probable bemoan in years to come,
gorgeous smile

I realise he's on his own,
can't be more than three
I get down on my hunkers and spread my arms
he doesn't hesitate not even for a second
Oh, the innocence of him as he jumps into my arms
and clasps me in a wondrous hug
I try to get him to talk but he just keeps squeezing my nose
and breaking into fits of laughter
he's adorable

I place him down, and take his hand
I noticed things I hadn't seen his little hands grubby
his skin peeling and sore
his beautiful curls all knotted
and bless him, not a nice smell

I decide to walk him around
see can i find who he belongs to
then this woman comes running, screaming
she grabs him, and slaps him
I'm stunned, he doesn't even cry
he turns and gives me a resigned shrug
what I thought was innocence was pure joy
in someone willing to give a bit of attention
this was a little boy who didn't cry
he's mature beyond his years
he's long since learnt no point in tears
as the woman screams "Have I no children of my own, leave mine alone"

She looks high, I wish I could take this little mite
but what gives me the right
he says "sorry, mommy" takes her hand and leads her home
I just might take that little boy next time he decides to roam

Secreted in a padded cell
Inside silently yells
his secrets he won't tell
there goes the medicine bell

She walks filled with nerves
at every sound she swerves
her bravery he deserves
his medicine she serves

As usual he's at the hatch waiting
his demeanour she's contemplating
the system she's hating
no help for him grating

They only want to keep him quiet
so they can sleep well at night
they don't want to hear his plight
or what makes him such a sorry sight

Abandoned and abused at an early age
filled him with sadness and rage
thoughout his life at every stage
he's been locked in some sort of cage

Filled with pity
she can only feel sympathy
she wishes she could challenge the powers that be
and unravel this mans mystery

She sneaks him the key every day
hidden under the plastic tray
but he's never tried to get away
in this solitary he chooses to stay

Maybe life is easier for him here
Set routine, nothing to fear
Out slips a solitary tear
as she hears him say "thank you dear"

There was a chicken who couldn't cluck
her own feathers she did pluck
Bought a rooster, with some luck
it will stop her thinking that life ****(s)

Caught in the middle of someone’s mind game

implicated, not taking the blame

I say that but for three nights haven’t slept

with disappointment I have wept

friends can be wierd creatures

smiling, welcoming features

but with knives sharpened

and words honed

they can cut to the bone

She’s a man-pleasing dresser

Women’s envy does not stress her

Short and tight for her is right

Some women’s lips purse tight

She’s got a bust

Show it she must

She wants a man’s lust

She smirks with delight

At every wife’s plight

When her husband can’t

get her out of his sight

Try as he might

She’s here to please

She’s every man’s squeeze

Touch her, if you want to please

Married, single, give it a try

For her all men apply

She’s a **** with a heart

you and your money need not part

You see, she can’t help but flirt

It fills her with mirth

She’s been like that since birth

If you want a fling

She’s a sure thing

You may think she’s a harlot

She just thinks she’s smart

She’s got what she wants down to a fine art

She’s a man-pleasing dresser

Women’s envy does not stress her

From my chin a hair is sprouting

My cracks need a bit of grouting

I’m often seen plastered

This ladylike thing I haven’t quite mastered

But I’m good for a bit of craic

Of laughter there is no lack

I’ve been told I’m incorrigible

But I think I’m loveable

I’m always going to be a rogue

Peoples Achilles heel I have to poke

Sensitive souls mightn’t like my humour

But that might be a nasty rumour

Then again I’m a bit of a divil-may-care

So if you don’t like it stay outta my hair

The man in the moon
looked down with a frown
‘cos no-one looked up
as he looked down

No longer a belief in him
was he just some lost whim?
He liked the stars to skim
and in the clouds he liked to swim
but that was when he felt love
when someone down there
gazed wistfully above

Then he heard a little voice
“Daddy, Daddy, I saw him twice
I saw the man in the moon”
Daddy smiled and said
“then its bedtime son,
Santa will be here soon”

The man in the moon swam
and skimmed all night
Santa basked in his bright light

I’m sorry were having a fight
when things bother me I go quiet
I build things up inside,
they maybe small -
but because there held in so long they sit
and turn my insides into a festering pit
the smallest slight can then become a raging tornado
an uncontrollable reaction
that doesn’t fit the supposed crime
and -
even though I know all this
at the moment I’m still mad
a major disagreement because
of all the little tiffs we never had

I think this kettle has had a good brewing
in my intestinal wall it’s been stewing
and now it’s come to the boil
I’ll have to handle things better
talk -
about the niggling stuff
or I’ll never handle a real patch of rough

I’m writing instead of talking to you
digging my heels in, not answering your call
refusing to scale this wall
this wall that I’ve built
maybe if I give it a little tilt
an inch more -
I can’t scale it yet
it’s looming to large on my horizon
I’m not ready to tear it down yet

I’m sorry *** I’m trying
but -
its taken years to build this wall and now its
oh -
so tall
maybe it will mature and stoop
fade into the background
stop tying me in a loop

But not today
I’m sorry

Love me tonight

but do it right

don’t call me a *****

can’t if for once feel pure

play with my hair

not reef it and swear

take the time to tease

think of both of us, please

I get turned on when you are

do that for me, raise the bar

you ask me to worship your *******

when my ****** feels rejection

love me tonight

but do it right

If I had a penny for every thought
would I be bedecked in richer cloth
would my opinion be widely sought
or would I be worth nought

I can’t hide how I feel about you

to refrain from kissing you

is all I can do

You used to be mine

I thought I’d be fine

but my feelings are had to define

One moment I’m mad

the next I’m sad

guilt over feelings I’ve had

See I was the one who let you go

for reasons I now don’t know

they seemed so important then

I wish I had that time again

You’ve found someone new

honestly she suits you

she’s bubbly and smart

she’s got you down to a fine art

Your still my friend

I hope that never ends

No longer my lover

always my friend

Black the colour of my soul

Deep descent, a swallowing hole

depressive thoughts hard to control

emotions taking their toll

Cup overfilling
passion spilling
head spinning
body winning

Time passes so slow
basking in loves afterglow
contemplating getting up
but hoping for another sup

Your silence is provoking

the emotions your evoking

my anger is choking

my pride I’m stroking

Speak now or never

I’m not going to wait forever

nonchalance may ties sever

maybe your being clever

Silence not always golden

fills me with foreboding

my bad side its goading

come on, start scolding

She knew as soon as mam left

he’d start

he’d broken every healthy piece

of her heart

Sweets and toys galore

daddy’s ****

pretty new shoes

legs torn apart

Offer resistance

ungrateful upstart

Their wedding day

fatal soul dart

A rose for her grave
notoriety he crave
hunger for fame his slave

Notes to police
written to tease
chase me please
cryptic theories

Wants to be caught
but just not, yet
still pleasure to be got
from being sought

A villages fear
knowing he’s near
stalking them like deer
laughing at his peers

Visits his old haunts
his crime he flaunts
with joy he taunts
his evil nightly jaunts

Captured by a twist of fate
this ending he hates
his escape too late
waiting at his warders gate

They turn the key
he’ll never be free
no access to library
to reminisce on his spree

As I sat down by the brook

A moment for reflection I took

Emotional I became

For reasons I cannot name

Tears ran down my face

For some distant hurt I can’t place

The river bubbled

I no longer felt troubled

I obviously needed this time of grief

Because it has granted blessed relief

I won’t question mysterious ways

As I wander home in a bit of a daze

Calmer I am, some peace within

So sit down by the brook awhile

It may send you home with a smile