You are all out there
Sinning the good sins
And I'm home--
Just home--
With a sinful mind
And idle fingers,
Wishing such Lasciviousness
Upon
Myself,
Longing
For the bliss of the Forbidden.

Almost-innocent tears
(for I am not without fault)
Pass through me
In girlish stupidity.
I don't want this
Preoccupation.
I would prefer
Cognizant frolicking
In that which is Taboo.

If I cannot have peace,
I would have sin in its stead.




-LP

Hush.
If you are listening, close your eyes.
Don't think too hard.
Now--
Imagine,
Think of,
Hold in your mind,
the following sensations:

First,
a soft humming.
Imagine this soft humming.
Imagine the voice.
Imagine the tone.
Imagine a drone,
Imagine a melody,
a pleasant hum.

Next,
a soft humming.
Think of this soft humming.
Think of the lips.
Think of the purse.
Think of a source,
Think of a vibration,
a pleasant hum.

Last,
a soft humming.
Hold in your mind, this soft humming.
Hold in your mind, the texture.
Hold in your mind, the ambience.
Hold in your mind, a feeling of being swaddled,
Hold in your mind, a feeling of expansiveness,
a pleasant hum.

Hush.
If you are listening, open your eyes.
Don't think too hard.




-LP

Crystallised syllables.
Words fall from harsh tainted lips,
like a syllable of crystallised black,
Caressed at the touch of fingertips,
encouragement seems to lack.

A heart of steel encased within,
the shattered depicted glass,
I pray that you forgive my sin,
End this forever song fast.

Your life is plainly satisfactory,
demeaning in all you do,
waterfalls of crimson refractory
broken, diminished, by you.

Wicked and nocturnal eyes,
return your weary gaze,
reflections hard to visualise,
incentives gone for days.

Leave emotion to drown itself,
in this scarlet river abyss,
place your feelings on the shelf,
and give me one last kiss…

the ribbon tied. the seal pressed, neat. and the astute.
hello, stranger. an eroding corpse among a bed of buds  
coroner's eyes over you. it was due. sour.
worms gather. flies flood in like a plague and the
consequential axe wound cements its innards as the
roots of the trees pull you six feet under.
degrading still. the aftermath and the smell of it.
rot and decay. i extend my hand, reaching out for rose and silk
to pass the time but as i tamper with the flourishing buds
the uneven petals wither collapsing into themselves
and as my feet are greeted by the familiar roots
i too follow.

Defeated
Depleted
Unseated
And cheated
Then deleted

Hired
Admired
Then fired
Now Tired
And Expired

Unchained
Blamed
Explained
Restrained
And shamed

Quiet desperation
Quiet exasperation
Verbal frustration
Mental desolation
Public isolation

******* ALL

I hate my mind's fragility,
How others' words weaken
My heart and my spine.

I've weeped too many nights.
While gripping my knees,
And digging the nails in
To remind myself that
Everything is gonna hurt.
It will not change,

Unless I change it.

I wish to grow a thick skin,
A strong mind with even stronger beliefs,
Intolerance towards anything and everything
That may harm me.

But in wishing so I fear;
The door of my mind will slam shut,
My heart will freeze in its place,
That I will grow so tall I can no longer see my feet,

That I may crush you
And scrape you along the ground,
Unknowingly.

Just as others have done to me.

I dug to china
with a rusty spoon
only to find all those years
I had only buried myself
much too soon