What else can transform fond appreciation
Into contempt within a day?
What else can make malicious
An affection originally divine?
The wicked speculation
On with whom you’d rather stay;
The suspicions which, though fictitious,
Bring my love to a decline,
A decline not meaning loving you any less,
But just that I know I’ve tried my very best, I guess,
And it’s gotten me nowhere,
So why attempt to be closer
To you than she;
I know, though it pains me so, that your eyes don’t rest on me.
But what can break feelings of love apart
Like good old Jealousy?

i am miserable
big cries tell small pleas
lamentations tell ideas
despair tells plans.
plans
to
fall
die
as quickly as possible.

To die-
To cease to be
Anything more than a body
Quietly wasting away.
I have long lived in fear
Of this inevitable departure;
Now I only wish it could be closer,
That I could meet my end today.
But I know this cannot be-
I have too many attachments,
Too many loves
To leave wretched and confused
If I were to do what I desire
And extinguish the dulling fire
That keeps my weary heart from stopping.
Without hope of becoming anew,
What is there for a spirit on this Earth?
What is there in a life of aimless wandering?
Yet I fear I cannot take my life
And risk becoming a horrid blight
Upon all those I've called my own;
I'd rather suffer all alone
Than know, even with senses blinded (for lack of a working brain),
That, for whom I have loved, nothing could ever be the same.