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fresh orange clementines on a
white kitchen counter,
incongruous with a windowed view of
white winter's barometric pressures.

eye illusions,
making no sense,
like me drinking
ice coffee in NYC on
New Year's Eve.

New Years Eve too,
a nonsensical notation,
an illusory line,
imposed upon us by
calendar salesmen and astronomers,
for profit and seals of good timekeeping.

There is no solstice,
no verifiable, demonstrable,
celestial line of demarcation,
just a box on a calendar
of man-made paper,
man-dating
fresh thinking,
de-man-ding,
we gaily clad ourselves
in suits of optimistic armor,
heavy with good cheer,
so much so,
we list to one side
under a burden
of greater expectations

the starting line is
worldwide, continental.

a ball drops
to signal the beginning of a new
human race to
another artifice in future time.

with inebriated staggering starts
over staggered time zones,
thus creating a continuous,
rolling wave-eve of resolutions.

I say to myself,
what the heck,
why not!

if the whole world
must share
but one
global illusion,

this one,
fresh starts of fresh hearts,
is not a bad one,
maybe, perhaps,
as good as it gets?
He was the kind of boy
Who used to look at his reflection
Not at the sea.
Until the day
He got glasses
bigger than
his eyes.
Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
your lips looked like a garden
full of flowers, wonderful

as i lock it with mine,
full of venom and lies
constructed by your
broken promises

tendrils of depression
and demons bloomed
watering them by my tears
hoping one day it will be better
I tried to erase you but it was so hard
I tried again but I failed again
Were my feelings that strong?
I closed my eyes and you're all I saw
I did the opposite but tears then fell

I was in love for the first time

Love is something we cherish
we adore
we reach for
we look for
it's something we find so special that no one in the world can even answer why

I was in love for the first time
but I felt pain
rejection
loneliness
broken
And worse, worst.

Every time I look at the stars
I remember you
Every time I hear a song
I curse and cry
Every time I hear your name
I'm lost.

I would search for myself, for who I really am
And I would regret even doing so
For every time I would find Me,
I see you.

And I felt the pain all over again
and I missed you more and more
and loved you even more.

And there I was in love for the first time
That kind when all you ever feel was nothing.
I guess this how my first love turned out... haha joke! I hope you guys enjoy this!!! xoxo nR.
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