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Jul 23 · 94
27 years
al Jul 23
27 years it took her to realize she wasn't alone;
she had herself.
But who was she? She felt more.
So she left. Alone like an iceberg, she was drifting away to thaw from her past. But once she found herself, she was far from solus.
She felt it. She could feel them. One was cold like it never got a chance to melt away the anger. One was warm, like a hug from a mother. Then there's herself. But is I the real me?
The cold one. The one who is always right can sense the impending doom of what is inevitable.
They call her mad.
The warm one. The one who drowned her sorrow in an unforgiving culture that slowly grabbed her legs and dragged her underneath the waves.
They call her a loony.
Did you know we can't feel wet? We can only feel temperature and pressure.
So, she feels pressure. She can feel the temperature bouncing from cold to warm, giving a sense of chaos. The same feeling she felt fighting to find out who she was.
The tide tore her into three.
So alas there is one who is kind, compassionate, and benevolent. They call her me.
Aug 2023 · 97
Goddess
al Aug 2023
She strips to her skin and bones
The hairs stand up on her neck
Shocked by her reflection
Facing a ***** mirror
Her collarbones seeping through her pale cold skin suddenly she doesn’t recognize herself
She looks down
And the blood starts pumping again
She looks up
Who was this goddess standing before her? She merely thought it was a reflection of god
So
She looks down
Brooding herself,peeling her skin exposing the nerves
The same nerves that couldn’t stop feasting on the abandon hope of the future
The same nerves with the myelin sheath that she couldn’t control
Exposing the tissue she so desperately wanted to cut off
But then she looks up
She breathes in embracing the goddess within
her past and future merge in the mirror's grin
Jul 2023 · 92
thoughts
al Jul 2023
the skin against her silhouette varnishes her body covering the thoughts from becoming.

words that sting like wasps
she welcomes the pain

preventing the sharp glass against her veins
Jul 2023 · 260
use me
al Jul 2023
my thoughts suppress watching you,
watch me get undressed.
lust is my muse
when you use me,
you're using me.
Jul 2023 · 81
light
al Jul 2023
the light grew around me but never touched me. the same thing happened with your love.
Sep 2018 · 265
my disorder
al Sep 2018
This ADHD
Is a part of me
I'm sorry my disorder
Keeps me out of order
I try my hardest
I promise I am not a narcist
It’s hard for me to concentrate
I just can't think straight
These words all look the same
That's just my brain
I'm sorry I'm really trying
Even when I feel like crying
I just can't seem to understand
Things don't usually go as planned
I'm really not a hoarder
This is just my disorder
Aug 2018 · 250
u in me
al Aug 2018
i'm falling in love with a version of myself i do not recognize
who is this goddess standing before me?
i merely thought it was you in a different form, but its me
after all this time i finally see my worth

but i still see you in me
Mar 2018 · 226
its done
al Mar 2018
rock  bottom
im gone
!crash!
i didn't survive
i can hear your breathe
im soaked in your tears
al Mar 2018
breathing in the water
waiting to slaughter

where is the air
how is this fair

blood splatter on white sheets
your body is alas complete

ill take your hand and go about
so everyone knows there no doubt
Feb 2018 · 214
don't forget me; forgotten
al Feb 2018
i am as committed to us
as the mirror commits to my reflection  

this hazardous famine of your love
spreads dandelions to my grave

where i am forgotten
Feb 2018 · 899
sunshine
al Feb 2018
you are my sunshine
you brighten my day
take the coldness away  

you are my sunshine
wherever you are i can feel you
you make grow and stand tall

you are my sunshine
through all the worn tissue
i know it’s clearly you

you are my sunshine
and only that
my everything
Feb 2018 · 258
at least i felt something
al Feb 2018
your face is dark
i feel no spark
you are dead
ive lost my head
im falling apart
you stole my heart
i forgot the years
you left me in tears
Dec 2017 · 280
high
al Dec 2017
the smell
the taste

around
my waist

im lost
in time

get me high
instead ill die
Nov 2017 · 215
stole my heart
al Nov 2017
I'm in love with this moment.
oh wait? or am I in love with you?

this moment
the air
your hands
this sky
this land

the way you are talking
soothes this feeling of what i need
or
what?
bleed.
bleeding bleeding
drip drip

around this town of sadness and disbelief
you stole my heart
you ******* thief
Nov 2017 · 216
rose
al Nov 2017
you're the thorn
to my rose stem

you're beautiful
but painful
Nov 2017 · 227
im dead
al Nov 2017
i walked through a
garden of flowers
that were once alive

it reminded me
of myself
Nov 2017 · 613
your love
al Nov 2017
cure my sores
cure my pains

inject your love
inside my veins

a.r
Nov 2017 · 699
your name
al Nov 2017
head pounding
eyes swelling
body shaking
mind yelling

blood pressure raising
tears falling
body shaking
vision blurred

this is what i feel when your memories visit

captivated by your mind is scary; as scary as the ocean being captivated by the shore.

you taught me that the loneliest star was still loved because it was a planet of its own

you said to me "i will not let the vastness of the way you feel take control over you"

i can't seem to remember the way you used to touch my hair i cant remember the slightest curve of your collarbone

you told me to not only feel but breathe what i wanted and that is exactly what i did.

i breathed your name

— The End —