if i had a reason for every scar on my thigh
and ones that i could remember
i would write them all down
just to see
what hurt the most
what threw me over the edge
with no regrets
just to have a clear list
of what i can't handle
so i would maybe stop
creating the same problems
over
and
over
again
step one:
stop falling
in love

It is a dream and I will dream on...
I cannot consider reality.
I am not fixed on an mere appearance of an eternal contradiction.
This manifestation rises like a vapor.
There is a world of things invisible to those wrapped in the first.
This world of suffering has become a necessary means of redeeming my vision.
I sit quietly in the midst of pain to break these boundaries.
Know thy self and the nothing in excess.
Pride and ego are hostile demons.
Bliss is born from pain from a heart cruel and relentless.
From musical moods comes poetical ideas and creation.
With this intangible reflection of pain comes mad love and not passion alone.
Now I become the Drunken Revealer But not on earthly pleasures
But spirit alone...

Wrapped in a sensitive shadow of frozen alphabets
They engrave an intimate definition of private insanity
Quiet tremors freeze an unknown violence
Leaving to eyes to bury the dregs of scarlet shame

Rua
Dearg,
Rua, roselet,
Gruaige na fíniúna agus scarlet
Fíonchaora, drown me i do deoch
As liopaí, fíona, Ruby, flesh an paisean
Torthaí agus adharc de neart,
Earthen meirge de pebbled cré
Tarraing mé mar uisce seeping
Isteach uiscígh ársa, ualaithe, i bhfolach
Faoi vastness Sahára
Sands. Tá mé scamall de aisling
Drifting, itching, edging chomh maith do chothromú
Hills. Do ******* sruthán mé mar gaile,
Tá do chluasa le haghaidh doves neadaithe
Agus do shúile, tá an spéir ag fanacht, cogaíochta
Le farraige, le haghaidh a dath,
Is é an ghrian wandering strainséir
Mar a thiteann sé, dar críoch gach lá, faded
Mar an fathach gásach de Antares faint,
Eclipsed ag do heavenly
Foirm, do lasair Vulcan
An tsolais.

The smell that pulls me in,
And holds me closer,
To that familiar place,
And comfort.

Is it his scent that pulls me in,
Or his arms that holds me closer,
To that familiar scent,
And pheromones.

The smell that pulls me in for more,
And holds me closer to him,
To that familiar feeling,
And sensation.

Is it his scent that pulls me in for more,
Or my desire to be held closer,
To long for that familiar happiness,
And pleasure.

Trapped inside this cold small place
Alone with thoughts and feelings
And within my mobile prison, I have now been ensnared
In a more literal prison, a place with frigid air

How can it be, I can never be free
Of the memory of pain and regret
When I get out, I'll run about
But I have not left yet

Sometime in the distant future
I'll be given another chance
At trying to lead a real life
Hold the average societal stance

When I escape, I'll fly away
And find somewhere to hide
I won't be back, but I'll still have
These feelings behind these eyes

Once long ago, there was a place
Too comfortable to recall
I felt at ease, and I could see
An open door next to a wall

But in this cold reality
The door only opens when
The rulers choose to come about
And free me from my pen