there is no difference
between
being alone
and being with you

i used to wish
that the sun
would stop wrestling
with the moon
and be up
at the same time

and then i realized
that they always were

your time
isn't mine

slipping through my fingers
the way it slips through
the curve in the glass
on your dresser

illuminated
by a shadow
your tears
fall like diamonds
heavy
and sharp

enlightening
the spilling
night sky
with the way you count each star
including the sun
before it has risen

don't let me become the girl
you ponder upon

mist
around my ankles
carried by the wind
falling with the leaves

I am drowning
in the cool
beauty

watching a white sky
how can you say
it's empty
calling it your fading soul

I hear cracking leaves
beneath your heavy feet
see the world
resting on the shoulders
over me
the words your murmur
warm
into my tumbling hair
do not belong
to me

catching your haunted
eyes
vulnerable
you make me look at you
when you turn away

I smell the earth
and green on your smooth skin
feel you wanting me
your hands moving further and further
away from my mind
closer to my heart
just below

I see
the end
your dark hair against the full sky
eyes closed
my fingers trace letters
over old trees

calm down
his hands slip over my lips
the tips of his fingers
trace my jaw

close your eyes
open them

i do

his hand moves down
i feel your bones
your skin feels
absent
like air

why are you so cold?

all the best things
it seems
end abruptly

a thunderstorm in summer
when the clouds suddenly disappear
spent
and the sun starts to shine

the book containing missing pages
that will never be filled
by the author
who died
peacefully
unaware
in his sleep

the sunset
falling behind the ocean
and covered by the streaming
black ink
of night

the shooting star
that you saw
disappear
before the wish
you wanted to whisper
could tumble from your lips

the song
missing the last chorus
that shattered
into a thousand pieces
of silence

the sentence
you always started
whispering
but could never finish

the phone call
that dies
in the dead of night

your birthday
lasting the swiftest
twenty four hours
why does it have to end
at 12am
(when i wasn't born at midnight?)

this poem would
too
if i were brave enough

but i'm not
so i'm ending

on you

He uses his numb fingers
To scrape away
The icy soil

Grayness fills his eyes
Blank, unstaring
A moment of clashing sky
Clarity
Makes his mind melt
Making breaking trails
Against the atlas
That once knew his smile

He lined his grave with the salt
Of his memories
And the blood
Of his slowing heart

Shame covered him
The way the sun covered the darkness
After every night
And he lay prone
Again and again
Towards the string
Holding up the Moon

Letters and words
Eventually fell from the sky
On top of him
Over him
Around him
Scattered by the winds of autumn
Summers goodbye
Carried by the swallows
Leaving him with a shadow of his own lies

you must have cried
at the sight
of all the trees
breaking
at the impact of his words
against your heart

I waited
For the longest time
For a hero
To come save the day
(not even me)

But the end
Happened
The way it never
Should

And now I can't get the sound
Of a gun cracking
Out of my skull
Or the blood
Away from my eyes
(it keeps smearing
when i cry)

And all I feel
Is warmth
And red
And sand
Caught in my shoe

And you aren't even here
To tell

You are the train
Going past
At three o'clock in the morning
Making the window panes
Shiver

You are the rain
On my roof
Falling
Softly
Loudly
Recklessly
Echoing
The tracks of my heart

You are the wind in the leaves
Running their fingers
Over me
Green
Stained gold
By the paling
Descending sunlight

You are the waves of the ocean
Falling and falling
Grabbing onto
An idea
Onto a shore
Only to be sent away

You are the shots
Of a live
Imagination
Crashing
Beside me
Running

You are the whistle
From the steam
Filling the kettle on the stove
I still
Make sure there's enough water

You are the footsteps
Known by someone
So well
Coming up the stairs
Sure and safe

You are the sound of a whispered word
Into a lover's ear
Hypnotizing
It doesn't matter
What was just said

You are the pluckings
Of a guitar
On a cloudy morning
Soft
Swaying
Moving
Making me dance
In sadness

You are the sound of your voice
Wanting

There was a man
A young man
An old man
Who once swore to her
That he would love her for all eternity
Forever
He would say
Over and over

He would watch her
Dressed in scarlet
From across a milling room
And smile
Murmuring
How lovely
Capturing her hand
He would trace the bones beneath her skin
Binding them
In the garden beneath the tree
Weeping at innocence
Lost

Petals falling over his shoulder
Into her hair
He swore
Again and Again
Forever
With not a word spoken before

Shadow
And light
Dancing
He could hear the echoes
Of his deceit
All she could hear
Was honesty

what if you were empty
and i was empty too

and we lay together
for just one night
underneath a cracking sky?

swollen raindrops
would fall
and land on our smooth skin

you would lose the bet
that i thought i would win
and i'd whisper to you
my greatest secrets
and all my fears
and you would murmur
to me under a falling star
your own

and it would be enough
that one night
wouldn't it be?
it would be worth an infinity
because time
is just an illusion
and just one night
twelve hours
is forever
to me
when it's with you

how do you
change
in one day

the old  man
asked
with a frown

it has to be
a special day
said the little girl
it has to fall
on the third
or the seventh
or the tenth
or the thirteenth
or any of these
numbers
added
together

the old man
glared
at the sun
and walked away
because
he couldn't add
and didn't have
a calender
anyway

Do you know of the one thing
I fear
The three words I loathe to hear
Falling from your lips?

I hold my finger
Over
What you kiss me with
When you begin to
Say '....'

I hold my palm
When it's not enough
And your eyes
Laugh
With your throat
Sending shivers
Up my arm

You think I'm joking
That I'm only playing
But I don't think
That I would be able to stay
Once those
Three words
I distrust
Come tumbling through
The gaps between my fingers
That fit into yours
Perfectly

"I love you"
A tainted line
I don't want to
Hear it
From someone
As wonderful
As you

i wish
the plucked
falling petals
of the daisies
in a pile
on my lap

were honest

'he loves you
he loves you not'

i would count them
each time

and start with the one
that would let
'he loves you'
come at the end

mist
around my ankles
carried by the wind
falling with the leaves

I am drowning
in the cool
beauty

watching a white sky
how can you say
it's empty
calling it your fading soul

I hear cracking leaves
beneath your heavy feet
see the world
resting on the shoulders
over me
the words your murmur
warm
into my tumbling hair
do not belong
to me

catching your haunted
eyes
vulnerable
you make me look at you
when you turn away

I smell the earth
and green on your smooth skin
feel you wanting me
your hands moving further and further
away from my mind
closer to my heart
just below

I see
the end
your dark hair against the full sky
eyes closed
my fingers trace letters
over old trees

I thought that we were tired
Of grey clouds and words
That burnt our lungs
Like smoke

I thought that we were tired
Of illusions
And ignorance
I see it all
In your eyes

It hurts less
To see the world
As painful
It hurts more
To see its beauty

Swallow the sky whole
Take it down
With a few stars

Count the heart beats
You feel through my shirt
On one hand

Kiss me
Like you don’t mean it
Smile and say how much you love me
Like you do

I can hear your honesty
Like the thunder behind
An azure sky

"Give me a kiss"
"Give me a song"

"Why won't you
Write me
A poem?"

"Just tell me!"
"I have never been
So ******* angry."

"Give me something!"

I love you. I love you. I love you.
I want you. I want you. I want you.

But I can't let you know.

empty casings
lie beside
empty bodies

tell me
where the souls go
the ones that disappear
every second
the ones
whose shadows
lie red
smeared
forgetting
on the road

keep my eyes
on their echoes
i am too afraid
to contemplate
the infinity
after

i am brave enough
to contemplate
the lack
of eternity
that reaches me
before forever

he captures
my chin
in his hand
at my betrayel

his eyes search for a lie
to keep his heart
safe
making me look away

I have read
too many books
to believe in love
I have read
too many books
to not

your fingerprints
stain my jaw

watch me stumble
and fall
my words
stutter
and still

i can't make myself
say
the things i want to

take me back
twirl my waist
in your hands
watch my eyes

become hypnotized
by the curve
of my smile
and wrap your hands
in my hair
as you bring me
nearer