i thought i deleted them all,
the pictures of you and me,
our memories,
i thought i erased them,
forgot them,
but there they are,
in front of me,
causing me more pain each second i look at them,
our smiles,
the way you look at me,
us,
now gone,
i thought i deleted them all,
the pictures that make me cry,
that pictures that make me feel alone,
1 year after,
and you still have the same affect you had on me from the start,
1 year,
and i still feel the same,
and what hurts the most,
is that you don't feel the same,
and i have to move on,
i gotta move on,
for myself,
to be happy again,
because holding on,
is doing nothing,
nothing but pain,
and loneliness,
and the dark nights,
and the bad days,
which happen way too often to tell apart from my good ones,
i thought i deleted them all,
i wish i never took them in the first place.

I risked everything to be with you,
Gave it all up,
Because of that stupid promise,
Me and you.

I let it all behind,
Perfectly cut off,
My past life in gone,
Because it was you I had to find.

But now I know,
I never cared about your opinion,
Or the words you spoke,
I knew it but I was too slow.

It I loose it at least I will be free,
Struggling against the currents,
You think that I am inferior
Desperate to leave.

I have been thinking lately,
About you
And
Me.

About what would happen
If I let us
Happen.

If I let you into my world,
And show you things
That I keep
Secret.

Maybe it’s stupid,
You and
Me.

Maybe I am over-reacting when I say,
That I can’t be near you anymore,
Because it’s hurts me too
Much.

But one thing I know for sure is
Without you,
I am lost.

And without your eyes to keep me sane,
I am just another insane teenage
Girl who looks desperate,
Who needs someone,
To love her
Back.

I have been thinking lately,
How I was going to say
This to you when
I got the
Chance.

I love you and I will admit that
But I can’t love you anymore
Because I don’t want to
Love you at all
I didn’t want
To fall in
Love.

i am scared,
i want to be his friend,
only his friend,
but i think i am starting to feel something more,
****!

i don't want things to change,
so you aren't going to know this poem exists,
you're not going to read it,
but then i know you,
you will read it.

i am sorry,
i swear i just wanted tone your friend,
and it's not often i fall for someone,
and i am sorry it had to be you,
i am sorry am falling in love.

i don't want to lose you,
i want us to be okay,
i am sorry,
i am falling in love,
but i am only falling.

Let me kiss you,
Hold you,
Until forever gives up.

Let me show you,
Tell you,
Just how much i love you.

Let me want you,
Have you,
Just you and me.

i didn't know what it felt like to be completely in love, helplessly heart broken and still wanting to kiss you for hating me.

i guess i do now.

maybe this will be it,
when i finally have the guts to do it,
to admit to myself,
that this is what i really want,
what i really need,
maybe this will solve it all,
solve the rumours,
solve the drama's,
solve the lies,
maybe it would make some people happy,
to see a girl like me,
gone,
to know that,
she doesn't exist anymore,
so they can finally say,
thank **** for that,
maybe it's the right thing to do,
i'm sick of seeing the scars and the blood,
because really,
what does it all come down to?
whether or not i can do it,
because maybe this time,
i will,
because i am sick of the stares,
the rumours,
the lies,
and their liars,
i'm sick of the fake people,
because what did i do,
to deserve this,
nothing,
just another girl,
trying to make her mark of the world,
trying to be normal,
fit in,
be happy even,
just another girl,
that no one cares about,
because i don't show my scars,
because i don't make them visible,
because i don't talk about death,
and the craving it has on me,
and the dark nights spent alone,
wondering if someone actually gives a **** about me,
maybe,
just maybe,
i was wrong for once,
no one cares about me,
no one will,
how can they,
when i don't even care myself,
maybe this is it,
finally,
my last goodbye,
and i wrote it to you,
because maybe,
you care,
but i could be wrong.

the worst part is,
the lies,
those words,
that i know are wrong in my mind,
but i believe them anyway.

i am over it,
over you,
make up excuses,
it wasn't you,
nah.

i don't understand,
what i did to deserve this,
i haven't lied to you,
or cheated,
i haven't done anything.

i guess i should be honest with you,
i don't love you,
i like you,
a lot,
but i don't love you.

the worst part is,
you tell me you love me,
want to be with me for a while,
but you do everything in your power to loose me,
you don't love me because why would you do this to me?

End it all with one simple sentence,
a few words that will echo for years to come,
in the dark nights spent alone watching the clouds hide the stars,
end it all for the sake of ending it.

Take away her happiness with a lie,
give her false hope mixed with the desperation of something else,
in the moments between the silence and the sound where the somehow co-exist,
Take away her happiness without caring.

Break the promises that meant the world to her,
all the push and pull motions becoming to familiar to let go of,
in the grey clouds hidden behind the blue skies and the strikes of sunlight,
Break the promises that you knew you were never gonna keep.

he
knows
there
is
something
between
us.

he
knows
how
i
feel.

he
knows
he
feels
the
same.

he
knows
how
much
i
need
him.

he
knows
that
by
ignoring
me
he
is
tearing
me
apart.

he
k­nows
this
and
does
it
anyway.

a question in the back of my mind,
i can't help but come back to it every night,
your name forever stay on the tip of my tongue,
we are here in the present and we are young,
a question that could determine something,
something that could last as long as the length of string,
i will always think about it and what would you say,
i don't want you to leave, so please stay,
a question i will never let go of,
even if i loose it all, i need your love,
i need to know what you think about me,
i want to know if we are meant to be.

oh, she flinched when you went to touch her,
she didn't want you to touch her,
so don't touch her,
please.

oh, she built her walls to get away from you,
she didn't want to know you,
leave her alone,
please.

oh, she distracts herself when it is just you two,
she doesn't want to be near you,
get away from here,
please.

oh, she doesn't say much when you're around,
she doesn't feel comfortable,
stop talking,
please.

og, she walked away from you today and every other day,
she didn't want to stay there next to you,
go away,
please.

oh, she is happy and she smile and laughs,
she is with her friends,
don't you see,
please.

oh, she is more beautiful than ever when she is happy,
she says what she wants and looks nice,
it was you,
please.

oh, you thought she was fragile,
you were wrong,
because look
at her.

i
don't
need
you
to
constantly
make
me
feel
bad
sad
and
alone,

i­
already
do
that
to
myself.

She's
Broken

She walked into a room,
with walls painted white,
too bright for all her gloom,
but being here might be right.

On the walls are painted words,
Welcome To Reality, it reads,
her heart had been broken into thirds,
but being here is what she needs.

She sat down in a plain, green chair,
next to a taller boy who looked sad,
with dark brown hair,
but being here might not be too bad.

He smiled at her,
but only a little,
she thought of her past and all the "were's",
but being here won't make her soo brittle.

She is broken on the inside,
never happy and always alone,
she wears a smile to say i'm fine,
but being here is better and she has always known.

She wants to feel again,
something other that the endless pit of numbness,
to be happy truly and to forget all the stupid thoughts in her brain,
but being here isn't really the dumbest.

She looks around the room once more,
her eyes flickering from face to face,
and then to the door,
and she knows that by being here, it is the right place.

she picked up a stone,
threw it into the water,
and waited for it.

she sat on the rocks,
time went slower today,
she waited for it.

she knew it would float,
it would come back up for air,
but it never did.

she realised something,
she was the one to sit alone,
the rock who was lost.

she needed to breathe,
but she couldn't anymore,
the water had come.

his hands on my body,
his lips on my neck,
his eyes watching me,
i love him soo much,
i want more,
more of his body,
his taste,
his love,
i want all of him,
all of him,
i am ready,
i want this,
i need this.