so, i trust to easily;
story of my life.
and because of that,
people go and break me.
but i'm not fragile,
i'm quite the opposite.
i have built my walls,
higher than you think.
and i don't love easily too,
but i wear my heart out on my sleeve.
because i care,
care was too much about others.
more than i care about myself,
really.
but i have been in love,
with someone who loved me more than the moon.
i let him in,
he let me in.
for 9 months,
i was happy.
then it ended,
too bad.
that confirmed it for me,
make that wall thicker.
higher,
no one can break it.
and that made me stand out a bit,
because i was strong.
i am smart,
but not a genius.
and i know what i am doing most of this,
so don't wast my time.
then i met another guy,
almost a year after the other guy.
my first love,
done and gone in 9 months.
and i am still recovering,
i still love him, i'll give ya that.
now,
the new guy.
well,
i guess i can't say it's love just yet.
how can it be?
only 1 month.
and then there is a problem with a friend of mine,
he likes me too.
something about me,
how can someone love me, like me, when i don't love myself.
how?
i don't get it.
i see myself as someone who is willing to help others,
care for them.
and i don't see what they see,
pretty, skinny, beautiful.
i see someone who can be a *****,
someone who is ugly, fat and gross.
but oh well,
**** happens.
anyway,
i am 16.
and i am tall,
which i hate.
i have strawberry blonde hair,
that i wish to dye.
and my eyes are the colour of a forrest,
a dying forrest.
my skin in pimply most of the time,
and i wear make up.
i dress to fit in,
not for comfort.
the pain i put myself through,
just to make people think i am happy.
me,
i am just me.
and i think,
that i am not good enough.
for anyone,
no one.
if i am not happy with myself,
I can i expect someone else to be.
i asked him if i was ugly,
he nodded and almost laughed.
no,
he said.
definitely not,
Summer.
definitely not,
echo's through my head.