I died on a Sunday
A day of blessings,
peace. Eternal sleep
was interrupted by medicine.

It happens

When I woke,
I was surrounded by strange people
White suits and blue masks.
Needles in my arms
Sensors on my chest.

That must have done wonders for your anxiety

My...heart...simply...stopped.

As if it no longer wished to fill the pain
of a life half lived. Loves almost won

You can't "win" love

Fights never finished. Things never said.

What did you do?

I quit my job. I told the woman that I like
my feelings for her. Changed Apartments.

What did you really do?

I began living.

Freely

Then next time I die. I will not have regrets.

Since I started the first
I wanted to finish n read all the rest
As time passed by I completed all seven of it
There was a happy end in it
But I wanted it to last no matter what happened next
But that never happened
So I read and reread
And still read it with teardrops in my eyes

I see happy faces around me
But I could never be a part of the crowd anyway
Coz I wasn’t a muggle anymore
I am the greatest wizard of all

In some phase I meet people like me
That wants more to be seen
Than just seven of it
And read it till our hearts contained

I hear a new one is coming
No one can really understand the feeling
Unless u r one of me
Who is smart enough in hiding identity

No one told me
so i'm telling you
i expected grief to feel like sadness
but i wasnt told that
that it makes your whole body ache from morning until night
and even in your sleep
and that it makes your hands sting from numbness
making buttoning your jeans impossible
and that some days clumps of your hair fall out
but having a good hair day is the least of your worries
and morbid thoughts attack like being ***** slapped upside your head
hurting so bad you actually pass out in mid sen--
But it's nothing like the sadness i had expected to feel
i've known clinical depression since age 4
and that feeling of curling up in the fetal position
waving the white flag of surrender
trying to make yourself into the tiniest ball of nothing
But grief is a flammable substance
and you can feel it as it ignites the flame of your soul
it feels like being angry in a righteous way
like when jesus knocked over the flea market vendor's tables at the temple
like being so ******* at all of the scales that are inbalanced
and it is the fuel that makes you want to correct the injustices of the world
and become larger than you are
and shower love compassion and truth over evil
no one told me that grief feels like this
so i'm telling you

I loved u when u were ugly
I loved u even when u cried
I loved u when u loved me
And I even loved u when u lied

My silly eyes grave to see your face
My stupid ears always want to hear your voice
My lonely heart cries out loud for your love
But then I realize AM I THE ONLY ONE????

I day dream about us being TOGETHER
I even dream about u being there FOREVER
Every single second I think only of u
And I just wish that u did the same too

It’s not my obsession to win u
I know I have lost the right to
But just want to ask
Did u ever feel the same too????

I loved u when I was angry with u
I loved u when I handed u to someone else
I loved u when I said I would live without u
And I still do love u
And there will always be a corner in my heart that will never stop crying for u