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A poet in love
Is a match soaked
In gasoline.

-r0
follow my writing!

it will kick you in the diaphragm.
suicidalsmiles Apr 2014
I lie here, all alone, as it builds up inside me, denser, taller, faster.
The blade glitters, and temptation calls to me.
But no, I must resist.

My hand crawls towards fate, slowly and carefully signing my destiny.
But no, I must resist.

My fingers curl around its sharp edge, lifting it slightly, and his voice echoes through my mind.
But no, I must resist.

The Oath swirls through me, my forced promise to him; "I'll stay alive for you, only you." My fingers tighten.
But no, I must resist.

Memories caress me gently, probing my common sense, dancing with my self-control. The blade sweeps toward my wrist in one, fluid movement.
But no, I must resist.

Numbness taunts me, calling my name softly, fluttering out of my reach as I lunge for it. A sharp edge presses into my hope.
But no, I must resist.

His face appears in my mind, smiles, and vanishes. The blade draws its sorrow over the inside of my arm, etching his laugh into my skin.
But no, I must resist.

My promises flow onto the floor with my life, as my mangled arm lifts the blade and deals its burdens onto its sister.
But no, I must resist.

The blade drops to the floor as my strength slowly dissipates. I close my eyes and say my apologies to him, pray that one day he will forgive me.
But no, I must resist...

I lie as still as a dead man, the knowledge of what I have done pressing into me, my life being forced out of me through his smile, patterned onto my wrist.
I close my eyes.
Resistance is Futile.
this is about once upon a time when my ex and i were together, he told me never to cut, but oopsie, I did. that is what eventually killed the relationship, he couldn't handle my issues. but i've always thought that if you love someone you stick with them, through and through.
suicidalsmiles Apr 2014
Well.
Fine.
Shoot me in the heart.
  Apr 2014 suicidalsmiles
April
i destroy myself
before you get the chance
because the pain i give myself
could never hurt
as much
as your gentle touches
smile wide

you see me at my time of weak
your warm eyes question mine
i feel the pain
pounding my outer wall
till its all gone

i wish you didn't make me feel this
way
every time your presence greets mine

if  only you understood
how inferior i really am
suicidalsmiles Apr 2014
I smiled as you walked by,
But I failed to catch your eye,
And so I waved instead,
But you ignored my hand,
How did it come to this?
I know you wanted space,
But an ocean is too far away.

What do you want from me,
My blood or just my tears?
I gave you all I had to give,
Now you won't let me live,
I'm dying in the rain,
That's falling down on me,
Leaving me with so much pain.

You can drift and you can dream,
And even walk across the sea,
You may even think of me,
As a distant memory,
But when I'm thinking of you,
My tears fill up my shoes,
As they drip down from my face.

We made a daisy chain,
But you crushed it in your hand,
You used to touch so soft,
But now you wear a ****** glove,
Your bitter words of hate,
Lead me to regret,
That I ever saw your face.

We used to love the breeze,
As it played among the trees,
But soon a storm blew up,
Now the wind blows through my heart,
It leaves me very cold,
It's demoralised my soul,
And I don't think I can go on.

These thoughts of suicide,
That infiltrate my mind,
I can put them down to you,
At least that's my excuse,
As I write my final note,
To let everybody know,
Just exactly what you've done.

May you live with your remorse,
May you never forgive yourself,
May you drown in your own guilt,
And feel the same cold in your soul,
The cold you left me with,
Straight from the arctic,
May it burn your heart with frost.

It's not that I hate you,
But it's so hard to forgive you,
While my heart bleeds on the bed,
A bed that we once shared,
In a way, I'm glad your gone,
So that I can be left alone,
To perform my suicidal thoughts.
I hate this
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