A soothing ***** of lullabies playing on a crystal blue day when shadows of The Pines lean into the room you're trying to find.

Grazing for electricity without wires,
Kundalini on fire, nameless now like before when lift off sped you out through the Universe.

Did you know every single one of us has the ability to travel at light speed?

There is a burning cathedral inside the heart where silence is God giving quiet sermons in whispers.

Light threading light catching silk off guard as it radiates rainbow in The Pines.

Room of a thousand inhuman faces.

Electrcity is a river of light in the spine.

It flows unseen.

Lullabies from the shadows
integrate.

Being gone for so long
from home.

The unbearable weight,
holding your memory.

you come at me
a locomotive wind
rippling green.

Consistent waves of dream
knocking over sand castles
like my helpless silence
falling under force,

my child remembering

what it was like to run
your wilderness, paved only in light
the brightness blinding,

  the quest for every level of
skyward shades,
intermingling with continental
tears in my eyes,

knowing what I left
your perfect love
my home,

the scars of sizzling Sea
a land mass formed
by Mountain Fire.

You rushing down
your invisible wings
slashing through my
wild branches,
carving a mighty rush.

I still cannot explain.

The song of sweetness and your laughter echoing down to me,
helping me to cope
with such cruel distance.

My love levitates above me,
begins to circle out
  heading to the silent softness
tucked beyond perception.

I have packed you
  with Milky way hopes,
  witnessed the slashing
    of stars make their way

bright against the purplish night.

I have known you to slip out from
the hidden human crevice
to perform secret plays
   with oceanic aches
       surpassing all words

threading impossible rich
   grasslands in a desert
     of a million scornful suns.

I felt you harpoon me
  pulling me back to the immense
  place beyond the curtain
  verifying every hope that kept me crawling for just one taste.

I heard you speak me into shelter
  every promise of your verse
riveted my skylines with the most delicious eclipse I've ever seen.

Your love moved me to another hidden Everest where The Golden Angel sang to me with a voice that bleeds my haunting.

I felt you craft a crystal ship, your freedom set it sail inside me.

Bleed me in the night
I feel tears remember the unborn place,

coming back to listen
on Sunrise Road

nothing but light
peaking cold stone

where your ghost
sneaks out of a window memory

your infinite face
caressing glass

in the most
  brightest place

You can imagine.

Curious constant scent
beneath the language of the street
this black whip sliced in half
unable to strike you.

Rain dressed
chains bleed silver.

I run a crescent maze of moon shine. Every direction, shadows,
and soft rooms of purest violet.

I stop to be reclaimed.

The branch staring at another angle
dripping grace onto shadow.


The closer you delve into belief
the louder the wind storm
speaks moving an entire desert.

I am rising on your voice.
Take me.

Know the Sun
walks inside You.

Blue dark galaxy
using light to dance.

She told me,
"We are pieces of the Universe
walking in skin."

Voice like an Autumn breeze
brushing against the pane of clarity.

"Do you question the Mountain?
For it knows how to rise.
Learn from solace."

A voice above, burrowing in.

My wish still dares to evaporate into Spirit to understand ten thousand burning rain drops falling from the moon ache.

Touch my broken stars.
Please, make them flow.

Ocean Child of Song.
Sing me a book of Waves.
Dance on Evening Glass.
Stalk my Rainbow Edge.

There are no walls in Sunset.

Understand my distance is a haunted search for secret shores.

Her perfect glow melted every scar.
Took my falling echoes, threw them away to stream.

Her radiant, pearl hand
breached my cage.

Her love made my spilt glass gleam.

Her Golden strength lifting me up and out.

Night is a million stars beaming from your eyes.

Pick the Ice from injured wings.
Her whispers lifted miracles inside my prison.

My self defensive feelings no longer wearing wolf fangs.

All my hatred blown away.

She guided me back to the Kingdom
every cell radiated light within me.

My bruised angel healed by the flowing river of Sun.

All the love I never felt here,
She returned to Me.

Stay in love with blue sky
listen as it goes under skin
  expands out, fast rush of adrenaline spilling through,
pooling corners with force.

Pick up jagged crests with one hand, hear the Ancient One drum in trance,
steady beating,
spell bound the mind,
reach far into space
where we all dissolve,
melting like a smeared cloud
on a canvas of blue love.

Listen to the power of
blue sky drum
as it takes you home.

More than a *** symbol
You race the World's imagination
as You
hang on over a million walls
in bars
offices
bedrooms,

You name it
You made it.

Big talk of the World.

Fame's comet hurled You,
bright fire through Night Sky

crashed YOU
on a Heart shaped bed
body full of drugs,
by whose hand?

Yours or them?

Gangsters, celebrities, and politicians passed thru your swinging door,
wire taps, satin sheets and hidden traps,
covering secrets of an Empire.

Affairs in high places may have been your downfall.

If your tasty lips could speak what secrets would You share?

I imagine you
near a cliff
ribbons of sunlight
flood down between fir branches
a river of Gold
splashes your hair
golden-red flashes blind me
nobody is safe from dropping dead
in the natural light of your splendid beauty.

If I could infiltrate your silence
what would it feel like
would I be entangled in silky visions?

I want to hear your secret language written behind voluptuous lips.


What would They say?

A book of poems that rampage the soul?

Tell me your story
lose me in obsession.

Lost in a river of Gold
flowing under Casino's secret tunnels,
for a trace of truth behind the mystery of your life and death.

Worshipped by men, a hero for women.

Immortalized by posters and movies
there's something contagious in your personality that attracts Everyone to YOU.

Soft seduction in star-light
You dance with violet moon beams at your feet.

Lift the sad stone dropped in your heart,
pull it out crying from bottom-less depths.

Rampage me with your song
meet me there
below fir branches,

ribbons of moonlight
crashing kisses on your angelic face
heated lips travel down your neck
roses rise from your hair.

Tell me your favorite flower?
I'll plant them in your heart.

I want to rip down cliches about you
from Judgmental circles,
lift all 118 pounds of You against the wall,
explore the soft valley along your back with determined lips and hands,
write ten thousand love poems,
attach them to a tumbleweed
and send it zipping across Death Valley's floor.

If anybody finds them
they'll sit and cry alone for a week straight with a gun to their temple.

I want to watch conifers take graceful bows in strong Coastal winds,
let's drop off maple leaves and sad stones from high cliffs and make a wish:

We'll eat at Romanoffs, your favorite restaurant,
sip on Dom Perignon 1953 to celebrate,
hang out with Charlie Chaplin.

Hear your laugh shatter a million walls.

More than an object of ***
I want to know YOU intimately
without the make-up,
plant blue delphiniums in your dreams,

give You back your soul,
throw back the 50 cents they paid for it in Hollywood's star dazzled face,
keep the thousands for the kisses,

flip them the bird,
spray them with rounds from a Tommy Gun,
peel out in a silvery Porsche Spyder
head for the hills,
music cranked,
play it Loud for all the misplaced wild child's of the World.

Sea-wind blowing back your hair
will drive every man insane
enough to die for
enough to **** You for
enough to pull a Romeo and Juliet
over a cliff,  

James Dean waiting in Heaven to greet us with a sly knife smile and a beer,
a sea of
blue delphiniums in your last glance
one last song to rampage our souls.

If your dresser could speak it would tell me Everything,
before we crash our blood into rocks
one last time to kiss the haunted sun
and tell them All
to ******* **** IT!!!

There will be a blue steel gaze piercing through a wall of denial built by defeat and disaster.

There will be a collapse of flesh pulling on you from days and heavy nights on an endless nowhere road headed for toil.

There will be indistinct shapes roaming curious nights painting silence into unknown words where wild creatures rise up from depths to take in needed breaths.

There will be a loneliness so thick it makes all the lady bugs trapped in spider webs seem like child's play compared to this abandoned corner of yourself.

There could be a reality so pure that just by breathing the air turns wretched power players into righteous saints waking up to a golden staircase leading to a brighter galaxy.

There could be a desire pounding and breaking steel
with fierce invisible knuckles inside a stranger you just passed by on a street untamed by mystery.

There could be a ruby hiding beneath pine needles begging to be found by anyone.

There will be a volcano hiding below your carpet anxiously awaiting to cover you with fire.

There will be a planted thought from your mother's mouth driving nails into the drywall of your future house
that still has a way to burn teeth into your hopes even after 35 years of wind and forgotten dust.

There will be dreams sneaking through a window and sliding through your overworked mind trying to ease the defeat of yesterday.

There will be a storm rising from swollen eyes of a universe out of touch with itself-
starving for reconnection.

There will be hearts closed up and left to wander.

There will be highways to heaven that are open that lost eyes won't perceive.

There will be stolen lives
effecting us
this loss will have a way
to burn teeth into a blue steel gaze that has the power to break through walls and find truth covered up, abused, mocked, and left to die.

There will be fire
written in your heart
that will defy it all.

I don't know how
  all these stars from God
found a way into my eyes
blurring the clear night;
how you misted me
as your shine
threw embers
into my loneliness
and
the howling wind
moaned my name
as if the entire Kingdom of Heaven
rose up inside
to bury me with feathered grace.

She comes from everywhere delivering fat snowflakes.

enthralled, I stare out.

Is this what hope looks like?

She comes from everywhere delivering me from stifle.

She knows me.

Her voice landed like this.

A vast white knowing, a delicious dish of eternity seeking you.

Turn the world off.
Calm your mind.
Amputate whatever fights you.

She comes from everywhere,
suddenly strikes with long awaited snows I haven't seen for 5 years.

She makes me appreciate my overgrown beard, a scraggly scrub of black and red as I walk 6 a.m. roads, almost too dark to gamble your life on.


She dismantles rainbows
scatters it out into snow,

my eyes are transfixed in her scope
everywhere she flashes, her masterpiece guns me down like a piece of writing finding your secret love.

She lifts me from self imposed entrapment, she knows my true identity completely, better than me.

She is a manifestation of our dreams.

I grew wise by reacting too much to darkness.

If you want to **** a beast don't feed it.

She dismantles rainbows
scatters it out into snow, her message of love couldn't be clearer.

she drips from heights
be a empty vessel to contain her.

Spinning defiant on plain
motivated by fierce performance
we desire explosive Evergreens erupted in trance through churlish gusts.

Sleepless still by anxious chills,
carousel ancient texts round my curiosity until I'm quenched,
fill my open **** with lead-

dynamic to core you have cleaned away forlorn stains of lovers.

No longer conflicted, belligerent, or hostile I circle cordial giants in hopes to spread a torch.

Running below, this chorus hides in underground river where only the inquisitive explorer will find secret decorations, unfurling flexible flow.

Set fire to covers and toss your indigo stars into her fabled wishes
hoping she transcends defeat.

Keen to mammoth masters and ascending ladders in which love has already conquered evil, if you reject compassion you run endangered risk of ruin.

Bottled up in diligent fiery crackle
these embers are not human.

Old antagonistic teachers coveting remnants of smoky dreams, may the new loyal scent of kindred rain wash away your jaundiced collection of brainwashed lessons.

Keep my perspective wide open,
don't forget to breathe in this place where humility is viewed as weakness.

They keep thinking I have not known horror, if I was to spill my past they might appreciate my fibrous connection to old growth forest and every storm unable to knock me down.

This cruel person who wished to destroy you only makes roots grow stronger.

No longer discreet in my old hideout hut of intentions I am well aware of who I am and what innovative wisdom I now dub my new cosmic colonel.

I have been digested into cynical intestines, yes I too ran the risk of complete and utter ruin, never certain if my convoluted confusion could spin again in heaven.

May your dreams all find The Evergreens and your spirit find The Master.

Ever since the miracle happened I've hardly been able to talk to people.

I use to be charismatic.
I'm not sure what happened.
Silence is my new language
I used as a child.

My eyes stare out the windows at work, drifting far off, tugging on ideas for a sunken continent I'm trying to make rise.

All I see are pages blowing, belittled in a snowy meadow breeze, stripped out from a notebook-
angels write on in my dreams.

All day long
a key to a door
taken back by the unfair storm.

Ever since the miracle happened I have been mopping up spilt awe with words that don't sound right.

I can't get my pen around it.

This hidden continent is too gigantic.

It lies buried under gallons of black and cerulean sea.

Day or night.
It doesn't matter.

Something strange is happening to me.

I've never felt any metamorphosis like it.

Killer pitbulls don't bark at me even though they bark at everyone else.

All my old problems are evaporated
like nothing ever happened.

I met a man who told me
"You look so clear."

People don't know what to make of me, they just stare and smile through me like I have big white wings.

Ever since the miracle happened it feels like I've been walking around in a dream.

My dreams feel more real than the unreal of this place.

My friend told me
"There is nobody like you."
Maybe little Jazzy is right.
I don't know.

Her statement keeps pacing back and forth on my front porch like
I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

I don't feel lost anymore.

I need a master to help me with how to tame this ocean of light streaming incredibly through me from another place I can't see.

This miraculous initiation threw red carpet down for my feet to glide across.

This unnamed feeling sitting inside me like a hidden continent dreaming to break free.

Ever since the miracle happened
All I want to do is sing.

I will pick this black bullet night apart with wandering eyes,

I'm bending down pulling dead weeds from winter's throat.

Pitch black at 5 p.m. and this blackbird still crows out his love torn blues somewhere on a Hawthorne limb.

His agitated cry gurgling rat guts.

He inspires worms to crawl out and bathe in bone chilling rain.

He dumps his misery down
a thorny cry, spider webbing glass
maybe he lost his girl.

Now he assails rain beaten dark with all he has left.

His wings will still climb a dagger driven night.

Dusting off loss, his eye level disaster insisted for a winter song.

Death of sunshine.
Age of only Fog.
Three days and nights of rain and frost.

His bent temper rides a campaign trail with no rules.

He is a black jet project that defies earth schools.

Intimate with cloud.
Kissing both world's of sky.
His nest is unknown and nothing will rule over him.

He will perch on scraggly fairytales and spit his venomous woe to forest storm.

His cold passage offers no warmth but he will bolt like a stealthy warrior
and blaze his crown of thorns from winter's rough, entangled throat.

You will never hear him apologize.

Splitting shapes with no hesitation
viciousness slid into silence
I hardly talked for a year.

Silence stood up and looked death in the eyes. Only eternity stared back.

Splitting shapes at night
oak trunks stretched like gymnast legs, her sharp branches clawing a sky necklace of diamonds for Selena to wear.


Forked between love and hate
I felt both of you climb me leaving a plethora of scars to return awards and punishment.

Sharper shapes to split
my solitary seige keeping battalions at bay.

Softly savaged.

Savaged softly in strict walls with no windows.

How did it feel to watch laughter get crushed inside?

I heard the pick axe sweat, arms littered in grey dust, a hole in the wall finally appears small enough for hope to crawl through.


Sharper shapes to split
I left her memory chipped and splintered, my blood dripped
thorns from yesterday.

A rope appeared at the end of her silence.

Gallows awaited, mocking crowds gathered, threw stones, I heard their rough laughter corner me at every angle.

I escaped. Burnt. Sunk. A devilish blade turned through my temples.
Red hot silver left its carving in my psyche.

I lived four years in grey ghost mode bitten in the beast dust of her smiling memory.

How I came out of it nobody knows.

Sharper shapes to split I looked into rooms with no outlets, I heard a voice build up and flood them all.

I walked blindly through streets,
my eyes spray painted every wall with punk graffiti, a restless rebellion full of thrashing lyrics standing up to empty words spitout from heartless machines.

I fell asleep in spikey fields. Yellow weeds grew tall on desolation row.

Sharper shapes to split
a detective pulling his hair out
trying to find out Jack The Rippers true identity.

I faded out. I decided to make sky collages on my camera phone.

Talk to nobody.

Every shade of blue taking in sharper shapes I split apart with
calm vicious silence.

This devilish blade inside nearly took my life.

grazing long hours
in a maze

I run

just to chew the fat

from a missing piece

of understanding

that fits

in the

crystal blue room

of your sky.
  
  she opens the door
  night after night

checking to see if someone is there

arrows rapid fire from her belligerent mouth

they stick to anything male

wears her denial like a crown

but the love of her life killed himself when she was 19

she never told my half brother
how his dad died until high school.

it's complicated

stop asking me ******* questions

I don't have all the answers.

all I know is that moment changed everything

You have no idea

neither do I

why black rain puddles
to drown dreams

or how tentacles slither out
from all the cracks that never heal

impact like a meteor

dents so wide
they'll swallow your whole family

and cruel fire will speak
  from the missing pieces
   of love

to teach you how to forgive
or to become another lunatic
driven by rage.

I have smiled at both your faces and earned my right to graze in the meadows of tears and fire,

after this
only
wisdom
will walk with a limp.

How the star spoke crisp
threading gossamer between us.

What we couldn't say
baked in ovens
until silence was ripe to speak.

Bold and true
Blazed our tongues
dew like beneath moonlight.

We ate frost until we knew what it was like to courageously shine our gentle nature back from madness.

When it spoke to us
We exploded into It.

Intricate webs of starlight became known.

Light spoke in the golden center of Awe where our love struggled fanatically to break free.

Our love deepened into the Earth
and flew to far reaches.

We crossed over aware of where we really come from.

Infinite Radiant Palace

Our Divine Heritage revealed by the simple merger of ALL Shine.

I've decided to burn my clothes
  drop my skin off

in a patch of tranlucent snow
  that steals my tongue

rip it out
   toss it up to the
Lavender God of Moonlight.

Make me known
   only to the kindred roar of outcasts.

I am foaming from a invisible wave
    nobody sees take me.

Let me swim insomniacs ocean
   bleed from the howling
       Interstellar whip of Orion's belt.

Let my blood light
dance upon your surface.
    
Make me a pathway
   I've longed to be.

I am flooding ditches
  overpouring the bottom dregs out.

Puzzles of a million mysteries
some day it will all be solved.

Dreams that reveal the buried truth
  tame the jagged edge of turquoise-

Sailing soaked in
   multicolored clouds
passing beneath
   a roaring sun
hiding all the answers.

Walking out from the protection of egg shell, your wings exploded on a red-orange horizon.

When the cage came down, your snagged wings bled out sunset fire.

Addictions hung you out to dry.

Slowly over years the noose of their lies scarred the scattered truth and flung it beyond darkening hills.

Monsters kept rising up from the scar that never healed and blasted contempt for All.

Pieces of egg shell glinting on your feet from the bright dream you emerged from.

Nothing makes sense down here until you start to investigate.

When the sunset fire starts to reach out with its long coloured tendrils and the smashed wings begin to repair itself after years of search.

When the insatiable ache for truth starts tapping the distances with its telepathic antenna and the ghost of heaven comes down to heal you.

As the clear path in your heart is pruned and the resurrected star of truth explodes inside your space-

When you leave your body
  and your best friend whispers your name in heaven,

maybe then you'll finally wake up.

My eyes and heart are open.
How bout you?

Opening in silence to your neon yellow petal,

I found your voice to be the sun beam to every garden.

My blood poured into this moist, fertilized soil.

Scars and burns settled, grew over time to be priceless teachers
in a school for rising angels.

Opening in the space inside me I have carried your cherished color
as it bled its dreams into my skin.

You are change less.

I am the broken circle
  made whole in the forgiveness
  of perfect light.

When your mysterious eyes opened up like a full moon sneaking past a gigantic dark cloud,

every stream of You
  blossomed me

not even the rigid concrete
  could stop the growth
   of our immortal connection.

You are everywhere
  burning for every eye
    to know you.

You spoke and said,
Everyone is my precious family.
Some have just forgotten
their neon yellow petals
all connect to me.

Never to be severed,
that middle rip I have trouble writing about.

Never to be severed
every nation inside you defeated
unable to see past billowing battle smoke.

Not pushed or shoved down a well but savagely kicked in solar plexus
after only learning how to ride a bike.

**** up ***** water.
Choke on betrayal.
Mom's ****** face calling to you.
Step dad hit her so many times you lost count.

Too young to understand this will be your great lesson.

Packed into someone else's violent
shell, load me into your hollow chamber, fire me, like shots heard around the world.

Martin. Kennedy. Africa. Christ.

Severe me.
Break my heart in a thousand ways.

From now on nothing will be the same.

This will be Love facing the gun.
This will be my God on the cross.
This will be clomping boots terrorizing Purple Mountain Majesty.

No one will know, my child.
No one will know us.
We will never trust.
We will cry for our lost god.

Why has he abandoned us?

We will fold up silence and pack it tight into our suit case.
No one will know.
We shall not speak of it.

We will use mixed metaphors to erase the true origin of our salted wound.

We will fly across troubled waters,
people will smile at us but we won't smile back.

We will eat the shattering palace of paradise and it will taste like the bottomless pit of hell.

We will gnash our teeth over rebellious years, we will cope on poison, on fleeting pleasure, we will learn to write flames over golden arches.

We will close ourselves.
We will store our hollowed house so deep into our bones not even I will be able to find it.

No one must know us.
We will break apart.
We will traverse a haunted world
finding others like us.

We will make friends with the battered face of recognition.

We will eat the betrayed dust of every nation.

Our anger will have no limits.
We will use it to condemn ourselves.
We will practice self mutilation.

We will hide our most precious love in the silence of a pen scribbling away years searching for reason in  caved in coal mines,

our interior selves packed tight with  'blacker than black' darkness,

yet we will not stop searching for diamonds.

No.

We will still have hope.
We will still go on.
Bashed in, fermented in rot.
Our throats thirsty for golden ale.

Our eyes still roped in by the whisper and grandeur of sunset,
our hearts full of uncontrollable aching for this moonlight plastered in water, we will still hear John The Baptist's voice screaming in the cell of our bleakest, darkest dungeon.

Have you Not Known?
Have you not Heard?
Has it not been told to you from the beginning?

Even though our foundation is crumbled we will look high and low in the valley for our healing prophet.

Never to be severed,
severed in the break of hallow ground. We will know that violence is not the way even when we want to **** ourselves.

Our ears to the earth
listening for her hidden spring
we will cut our pathway into secret channels.

We will scramble for it.
Restless for a taste of purity.
Our haunted inspiration will leak resin and find twisted flame.

Our desire will grow higher.
Our fire will fan into every capillary.
We will carry hidden, super forest fires in our eyes until we hit the ocean.

We will laugh until our abs are rolling down the hill.

We will make unforgettable friends and we will find comfort in each other.

We will open up slowly.
Taking our time.
Our love vapors will find a way around the darkness.

It will build up, our awareness connected to A Great Hall, every part of our fragmented self will start to seek it.

We will have close encounters with powerful peaceful angels stirring us in our sleep. We will thirst for Home with a thirst so deep the entire galaxy will hear us.

We will realize we were wrong to hate.

We will feel ashamed of our misplaced ways.

We will ask deeper questions.
We will read more prophets.
We will learn to forgive it all.

We will have compassion on ourselves.

Our unworthiness will learn to cry and in our willingness to change:

The Great Spirit will ask for our permission to heal us.

We will say Yes.
We will be cleaned out.
Every ***** action brutally ****** upon us will be wiped away.

We will understand we are bigger.
Every single human being is our brother, sister, mother, father.

We will feel the unlimited love from the Great spirit and we will never be the same.

We will make it our new mission to love.

We will walk lightly now.

Our expanded understanding has made our eyes into vistas, deserts,
rivers, oceans, we will flow, never to be severed, we will seek to heal entire nations.

We are back.
Complete.

In full knowing of who we are, where we came from, resting from want as the Great Spirit has returned to us.

We are all angels.
Even the wretched ones.

Our souls will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine because we were willing to brave the darkness.

The madness of light running
  faster than sound
   casting beauty of
     slivered shadows
        slanting cool down
            a ***** ripe with two sides.


The dichotomy of Spring versus Winter in a one day battle.

Both ingredients sugaring blue sky
  in circling confusion.

The unmailed envelope to God
sits on the silent porch waiting to be picked up by the wind.

Every restless word turned to leather-
protecting a vulnerable chamber
from the insanity of hostile teeth.

The madness of light sheds its message to frigid corners, says
  Remember my warmth.

The sweep of connection alights his eyes with fascination.

Set on fire
protected from
the attack of everything dark.

He walks the blackest rim
knowing The Master is by his side.

Exploding in skin
this light grows
in crescendo, swelling up
to cascade in auditorium ears,

violen strings cutting the hidden ache making it leak symphonies.

Silent storms breaking cliffs,
sections of you cannonball to water.

Underwater music brings out electric eels to zap and dance.

You slowly sink down
  staring breathless at sun lasers
slicing through sea blue water
  

You marvel at their
resiliency to reach
the rock bottom depths
  
where even the darkness dwelling
  creatures hear the music of the sun.

Transparent sky
tickling clouds
laughing light

angelic angles
mysterious views
  once dark, now bright

sliding clarity
ladder of hope
strength of twilight

blending the blessing
of gentle blue stretching
through black,

blizzard in Spring

two world's meet
  snow falling in Pure Sunlight

meet me out back
of the store
where entanglement

unlocks the golden door
  with hidden keys
from God's tears

sliding unbelievably
  down my face.

Words die in my mouth.
Hoodoos rise. Tangerine hotels smearing through forest.

Crisp days slip into moaning starlight winds, fierce as a Lion
attacking you in a den.

Nothing to say.

Underground roots dig.
Find my branches, make them split.

I woke up early.
Went outside.
Full moon going down.
Sun coming up.
Rainbow clouds to the west
Red orange, blue violet to the East.

Captivated, it held me hostage
turned the vault door,
words died in my mouth.

Silence stormed in
brushed my canvas
with strokes from an
invisible painter.

My eyes filled up with sea.
The waves crashed inside me.

Turning into silence, every word came alive like the new grass of spring on a hill that remembered
my rain drops on its scalp.

You were the blossom of my heart in a place that cried my name using my eyes to fall from.

Turning into Silence

I heard your other worldly wings
collaging petals in a scrap book
that changed everything when I saw it.

How can my limited ability even begin to describe it?

The silence between us is a
mountain side,

  my unwanted creeks still creep
      through you searching for the puzzling slice of your *****

fallen away,


my prayers for you
  bleeding howls
on a peak

where winds are intense hands
   massaging every Pine

making them sing.

The silence between us
6 years solid,
not one word

What was it you said,
"I need you in my life. You are family."

The last thing you said to me before you vanished.

Your eyes cut me with jade.
Your red hair hangs me from a limb.
Your distance carves me into a canyon but the water found another outlet to flow into.

I am triple what I was the last time you saw me.

My heart pulls down the Sun
and shines anywhere I direct it.

I told you once,
my love would never stop
  finding you, no matter what.

Here it is.
I know you can feel it.
Even now.

The silence between us made it grow stronger.

The creeks surge forward, ever vigilant, solitary rushes cascading down the invisible ***** of your name.

It can never die.

Slipped away
  came back
knew what it was like
  to be without you.

Slipped away
  drowned in tar pits
  knew what it was like
    to eat the darkness.

Slipped away
  came back
from the after life
haunted by the Golden Palace.

Slipped away
bled the tears
  of entire world's
tasted the wish of redemption.

Slipped away
came back
mouth full of moonlit gravel
tasted the curse of man on fire.

Slipped away
  came back
knowing our secret immortality.

Slipped away
YOU came back
  to glow in my secret house.

Slipped away
  came back
full from the light of home.

You said,
Go and Shine it for Me.

She would love to vacuum up
  all the light
from the forever clean sun
and shine it out
into all those    
  hollow places
littered with not good enoughs, belligerent back slaps,
held tight in a corner,
against the ropes
boxing The Hand of Stone.

She would love to
pull the violet sheets of the full moon off and gracefully flit them across the violent whispers of her nail ridden bed hoping to take sharp points out completely.

She could learn to reanimate junkyard cartoons hiding in the dusty hallways of humour.

She could steal garden web gardenias and spiral them into a hidden window that hasn't felt a soft shine hit in two decades.

She could dance around the rim of sunrise and sunset
soaking in the sonorous orbits of smiles' melody.

After that she would soak her aching feet in warm Epson Salt water, glass of wine in hand, not having to think about cleaning hotel rooms.

I swim in a penitent pool
blessed with calm
my final dream
the perfect water;

where all words are slashed to ribbons.

This pool is my treasured green bliss.

I will not forget my broken parts
flying out of the machine mouth scream.

Machine gun scattered,
eating hard shells of paradise lost.

This pool of calm green peace doubles in strength when you surrender your guns on its shore.

In order to enter the vast glass of tranquility, there can be no fear.

It will always wait for you until you are ready.

You must do the inner work before you can swim. Anger blocks it. Victomhood hides it.  The blame game pushes it away.

Every soul is a drop from its perfect silent pool. All you have to do to get there is get out the way.

Drop every wall.
Walk out of the cave.

Open your soul
to the vast pool of bliss.

How thirsty is your desire?

How to harbor a bay with no moon?
To navigate without light.

What it takes to bleed frost?
Cling to who you aren’t.

Test bullets with hate until empty.
What it takes to roam sullen hills
To move slow, weighed down by punish and neglect.

What it takes to rise slowly
Run and chase something already there.

Hiding, waiting for anger’s mist to burn away.

How it feels when Sun cries.
Leaves your eyes swollen and full of sting.

When a friend believes in you again.
Invites you to live somewhere clean
After dying in drug induced streets.

What it takes to live with words
That cut your life,
To turn them over year after year
Watching them take you away from Paradise.

What it means to silence lies?

Pull out nails that don’t belong
Or got hammered in wrong
It requires lots of work.
Takes courage and a willingness to step out
Into air,
Not knowing
Whether or not anything will catch you.

What it means to return to love?

To endure
What almost killed YOU.

Eat pavement.
drift, no home,
he squints into smoggy sun,
remembers when laughter
shined on this abadoned corner
of Litter and Drugs-

where his climbing prayers
brave up a sunlit corridor asking for help, knowing how forgiveness
drives him in, pressed, open,
pushed out, vulnerable, no armour
his eyes stung back to home-
  
wondering if this drive-by-night city
will remember God's undying love?

Do they know He remembers every face as apart of his own?

He speaks beneath the concrete
and roots intertwine his voice.

He is fire on the sidewalk
nobody sees him erupt,

  silence takes him
  to the room of truth

litters him with the lead
You can't face.

He will take off Liberty's blindfold
  hold her naked against the mirror,

make her touch the icy ribs of December Skyscrapers,  
force her to admit the truth.

She will try to censor him,
his fire will expand and crash
The Meadowland.

Revolution will blaze the haunted maze of butterfly wings and curious eyes will rise when they decide to lift from electric Delphiniums.

He spits out rivers into office buildings, floods the lie with panic,
nobody is safe from drowning.

His sunrise peaks the unholy alliance of Governments,
exposes the superstructure as the fat rich camel denied at needles eye.

He takes off the mask of the executioner, puts him on trial for hypocrisy.

He lands in the middle of conscience, let's it run loose
while everybody hides, petrified behind their denial.

He is smooth jade rising from the bottom of a hidden city dancing in the corner of your peripheral,
his gem holds the secret to your soul.

Wear it and become a Sorcerer
in the Meadowland-
speak his name
and thunder
will answer you.

My name is Henry Miller.

I was in 4th grade
when I met A.J.
he had chestnut hair like his father
that swept down to his chin.

He was a golden gloves boxer
with lightning fast fists.

We played tackle football and shot  pool together.

At night we dressed like infantry men
and dashed out there
in the bushes and trees
mixed up in serious battle.

A.J. would borrow his dad's combat gear,
flashlights , blankets, etc...

His father was a short, skinny guy
who served in Vietnam

a constant, intense blaze seemed to burrow way down deep to his core.

I knew he had been through something Ginormous over there.

He killed a lot of people that much I knew, but he had also witness friends die and after seeing that
something inside him must have snapped,

a rainbow bridge falling forever into a cataclysmic darkness.

I never got too close to him
a clear intuition always warned me
to keep my distance.

There was a rumbling warning in his volcanic eyes that told me
He never really left the jungle.
Some vital part of himself was still over there.

His screams slashing through his dreams
still riveting his head into the swollen firefights that made demons
crawl inside his lonely foxhole.

I always had great respect and admiration for A.J.'s Father.
I used to hear those bloodcurdling screams at night when I slept over.
I have never heard screams like that since.

My heart would pour out to him in those long washing mind wanders
you get when you're cocooned in ripe silences
and
the heavy texture of the world seems to vanish
and all you have is the lonely ripples of quiet, secret love
washing to your shore banks.

I loved the man you see.
Even when he lost it.
Even when he beat A.J. to a pulp once.
His foxhole eyes intoxicated with whiskey & war & loss.

It was then and there in that horrible moment that I seemed to really see
how war had come and carved him up, left him still a prisoner in his cramped one bedroom apartment.

I saw him still fighting
a deadly riot within himself.
His demon still trolling jungles for the enemy, or his lost friends, or Rainbow bridge.

Whatever it was I still think of him today sometimes
wanting to understand him more.

Maybe it was that damaged, haunted look he always had in those more than troubled
quaking eyes of his that always made me wonder what he had seen and did.

What cruel monsters were still digging through this poor man's soul
when he had seen the world darkly end?

What red line of unforgiveness kept tugging at the corners of his blasted out heart?

I still lie awake at night wondering, hoping he has found peace.


© 2014 Scott Lee

How they danced
behind tall walls of Pine,
dripped in clear blue
wishing to be seen
like children
pent up in a cage
their eager eyes drooling for sky
small fingers clasped around
chain-link,

their throats held rivers of song
behind steel-

it grew out, touched the invisible compassionate ocean of being,

crying for release
all these bright words
jumping up and down
behind the great wall of Silence.

I looked everywhere for the gatekeeper to free them
but only the blank page laughed
cruelly in my face.

They call me The Pastor
a ten year alcoholic who rose miraculously out of the bottle.

Who would have thought our  magnetically charged hearts
were tough as planets.

They call me The Pastor although my rough beginnings
  quickly kicked me out of God's House.

Or so I thought.

I roamed and bled ten thousand shades of darkness only to discover none of it was really mine.

How ironic.

They call me The Pastor, friends of mine, always seeking answers to tough riddles where they lay stretched out inbetween Wrong and Right.

They call me The Councillor for always listening to their problems.

Little did they know I was also trying to solve mine by seeing how they coped with theirs.

We are puzzle pieces to a mystery only we can solve by loving those fragmented parts of ourselves people closest to us threw away.

Do you realize how long it took for me to figure that out?

It feels like a thousand years.

They call me The Pastor even though I rarely quote from scripture.  

My church lives in the heart, in nature, in God's quiet whispers.

I do not claim any kind of righteous, fabulous glamour, nor do I take any money.

If you let people see your heart they will open up and listen.

They call me The Pastor
but I do not claim to be.

I only came by that name because after I roamed with Lions-

I was healed by Eternal Lamb.

Prowling night,
  moon priest
hooking sermons
     to stars,

a yellow crescent lecture
bending light
  in a way
     out of time.

Ditch it all
  to link up to
serenity's  field.

     Pull out
       a dream

attach it on
  this invisible kite
      
full sail rip
    surrendering to open violet

     sky bloom
        cloud burst

        let go,

find the sermon inside
  listen to it glow.

I forgot to tell you how she
cruises my Pacific
like a slick shark fin.

Uninhibited. Prominent.

Then.

Dipping down.

Restless teeth stalking through forever sea blue.

Boundless.

Swift.

Pulverizing hearts.

Her shrewd cold eyes
forgotten by Sun.

My Iron will driven mad,
desperate to escape
I had to cut my way out of her.

Now I can swim in the deepest part of the ocean, alone.

Walls tumbling as I tunneled
inch by gruelling inch
drinking dust.

Walls tumbling as I tunneled
day after day
eating dust.

Walls tumbling as I tunneled
month by month
wearing garments of dust.

Walls tumbling as I tunneled
year by year,
no love.

Now,

finally out
and this grey black dust
taken off by sweet silver God rain.

I saw the worst get hurled down upon you-
bringing out the best I've ever seen.

When you get haymakered by the Sun it will come on a day that doesn't matter. Everything negative you've ever thought about will instantly change. Time will not exist. Everything you've known about yourself will expand.

If you hear a whisper that tells you
"You know you may require more healing."

I suggest you allow it.  Follow it.
Lie back. Relax. Think of somewhere safe. Close your eyes. When the Sun Fist comes it will strike with invincible power. Oceanic waves of divine love will take you out beyond time and space. Rainbow flashes will pierce the yurt.

A magical sway will lull you as if you are 5 years old on a swing set being swung by your young healthy Dad.

Telepathic ripples of overwhelming feeling will float you toward True Home.

Gentle as butterfly wings traveling through a vortex, unscathed. You will lift off. Angels will dash through your inhuman heart. They will plow every pain away as if nothing ever occurred. Dark Rage will be silenced, dropped, and forgotten.  

When tall indigo Guardians come they will fill you with a fierce surge of warrior light.

A waterfall of Moon Beams will soak you. When you rise it will be the best drunk you've ever felt. The best high that's possible will soar you to a cloud we all have known before.

When you get there tell it Hi for me and thank you.

You will sway, heavy legs contemplating ground. Lie back down. Days and nights will pass like nothing. Invigorating gusts will clean everything away. Some magic wand voice will speak profound, perfect poetry that you only wish you could remember. It leaves you trashed on rocks that speak sea.

A Sun will scream through your shore and connect you to sub atomic particles and the entire Universe will rise up in One Song, snaking delicious through high walls of every illusion teaching separation.

Glittering scree will find you help less as they land inside you. Colorful marbles, each one a universe unto itself will flash and slash your spirit with New vitality.

Heaven will be a waterfall, you will be its pool. Perfect shiny spheres will reflect only wonder, appreciation, gratitude, and endless love. A Love so vast it ties up logic and kicks it out. A Love so fierce nobody who feels this can ever doubt again.

It will come like a invisible thief
and plant you with rosy elegance in a garden that deflates time.

Your body will light up like a river of fire, a light in your center will begin to pulsate something so new it escapes all languages.  Steadily warmer. Hot. Hotter. Searing.

Scorching flames will increase and a sword of invincible light will activate your chakras.

You will laugh at Death, truly knowing that it's impossible to die.

You will feel Knighted by Ancient Knights. They will sing you praise.

After one week, you will rise completely different. You try to explain it to anybody and they label you On Drugs. Silence will befall you. New wonder glistens on everything you've already stared at a thousand times but not like this. Every word that once was a prisoner in a World of Broken is released forever.

I watch them playing out there in tall green mountains. They flirt and tease my pen but I cannot even lift it. I care not to define it. It stays with me. We are thoroughly engaged with a thousand secrets that burn words away with dreams.

These words can't even begin to touch it.

I will have to start again.

Touch the thirst
sandy throat
  nomad drifter

remembering rain
  when all the August grains
    cry out
  
inside a fiery tornado
  lit up in the center

with a bolt
  scorching,
    hotter than Sun.

Funnel of light
  leveling the expression
    you seek.

Must I start over
  carrying silent debree
    after you stormed through me

leaving this bright residue
   still twisting inside
     my hidden pathway.

Touch my thirst
  sizzle the answers
    into August grains,

flash flood this Mojave
with the echo
    of your flood.

Tow the ache
  simmering magnetic
    slivers of sunset awe
  
         streaking unnamed things
           holding it inside
              unleashing rivers of
       clean starlight

giving itself
      to the earth.

    Loneliness smells like curling
        smoke drifting on a crisp night
           when a thousand howls
               plead to the Harvest Moon

                    for something
                       buried inside
                          sprouting to get out.

Call it the invisible field of yourself
  where nobody can see what
     grows there, except the One
        who flies through it,    

        
   monitoring it all
       with unconditional love          listening to the ache
  of diversity yearn for itself

on another level
where two becomes One.

The power of the sea is air born,
its force snapping in my face.

Invisible waves whipping through 4 layers of clothes.

Thrashing Pines.
Shearing limbs.
Natural pruning.

Solitary phantom bashing cliffsides,
spinning leaves, contagious dervish dances overtaking the mountain.

A thousand Rumi letters taken flight
burning atoms, spilling longing.


Moaning captains, ship less,
praying for strength,
fighting night swells,

the power of the sea is swirling sky
kidnapping forest litter
no ransom
an icy thief
cracking lips
piercing skin

howling like the ache
of 80 million prisoners
who wish to be as free
as it sounds.

The endless flying whooshing
happening beyond walls,
sloping through the curiosity of
an entire world,

penetrating dreams like a cosmic ghost.

Going blank is to suffer an army of sharpened nails clawing in skin without sound.

Small grooves,
yet, make no mistake-

A collection of oceans pass in this narrow place.

Silent uproar.
Calm trickles.
Minerals from hidden rocks.

Secrets leaked beneath the buried
  wound where angels and demons-
        Rage their wars.

She sits silent
as night collaborates
cursive wind to spoken pines.


Pearl moon silent
she is the main attraction
radiant dream, dark angel lust

thirsting for every eye
  to stare
and burn
for the fortune she hides

as her naked pearl shine
  illuminates forest wonder.

She will glaze the ice
  scurry her light
    in ways
       that trap your tongue

around the rutilant jewelry
you wish you could wear
  leaving night to worship
    her perfect crisp blaze

as your enamored pen
falls into a coma
     too deep
        to speak out.

Her silence is another world
    only imagination understands.

They are crawling in violet sands of silence. Hours jet by like nothing. They are stinging you all over. Powerful burning, moon spackled in every grain. An inner Sun dawns, hits  water, nobody knows. Or do they?

I once fed my hostility into the jaws of intensity in hopes to be rid of it.

Now. It is done. Paper swallowed
pain. Painted bars the mind brushes to trick you into prison. I learned to let go.

Mother tells you it's illegal to cry. Keep it locked up for decades, a child who discovers Houdini's secret window.

He crawls out. Night and day embrace. Rainfall of stars.

Peace at last.

Now they are stinging in violet sands of silence.

Long letters swirling beyond your reach but dazzling the water's edge close enough to jolt the aching valve to a pipeline your spirit raced through.

They come.

Scorpions of powerful, needle fire stings.

The pressure to release them builds like a secret ocean as you sprawl out on violet sand wondering how to express the Eternal diamonds following you in the waters of your
inner world.

Long letters swirling from beyond.
Only in deep calm can I catch them.

Most times I am frantic clawing at night's window, diamonds falling out from my eyes replacing the words I need to trace them.

They are not mine.
They are everybody's natural heritage.

Majestic stars of eternal love
  streaking into our secret ocean.

We just have to open the door
to the private shore and give it surrendering permission to love us.

The fast descent of snow
covered Reno like a legion of white angels

furious flakes gliding and collecting in mass

it was late
around 2 a.m.
or so.

I was stranded like an alien in another world whose ship had crash landed in a strange, hostile city.

I remember turning the corner,
a body was sleeping in the door way.

I felt my heart leap out from its chest as if some wild boar lived in there.

I felt a warm wave of compassion engulf me for this person who could have been anybody. I could see no face. Man or woman I could not tell.

Just a body.

Who are you huddling in unforgiving cracks of a broken down society?

This reflected so much to me in that moment that I stood, half paralysed, gawking at the stranger, wishing I could do something. Being broke I could offer no money otherwise I would have laid down a 20 beneath his back pack.

What a brave soul, daring to sleep out here. -10 below. Just a sleeping bag.

Was it a veteran?

All I know is that he or she was a member of the human race.

No face. No food. No shield to protect him.

I wanted to call someone but I knew nobody here.

How could society so eagerly throw away people as if they are just inconvenient trash?

It spoke a lot about our system. How could anyone trust it?
Not me.
Not ever.

They will only lie, imprison or **** you with no regard for anything humane.
No heart.
Soul-less.

12 days stranded and there were so many homeless people that it felt like a 3rd world country.

Except for the lights beaming from Casinos which 3rd world countries do not have.

My friend just committed suicide two weeks ago. He visited me in my dreams. I could feel him walking next to me.

A 12 year friendship, gone like that. Tears were trapped within me. I could feel them but I couldn't let them spill until I got through this. I willed myself to be only IRON.

Let the softness collect and build. No time to cry.

The heart was like this sleeping body, left exposed and vulnerable in a doorway,
no shield from the way they talk to you, convince you its fair and normal to leave people in snowy streets with nothing.

They'll turn you cynical in a flash, saying that he deserves it but who knows this person's thoughts, the texture of his life spreading over walls that I couldn't see.

I pictured this person like a brother.

He could have been through anything.

He slipped from the top of a dream, landed here in a doorway, snow fall whispering ten million white pages through his beaten life.

His key to love buried and burning beneath 10 feet of snow.

I walked away, ashamed, tired,
trying not to let my heart leak out from my eyes and freeze against my stinging face. It was not easy trying to suppress a sea from spilling.

All I could think about was home.

No shield around my heart as it opened up
to let in every white Angel of love landing there, growing huge with mounds of feelings;

still,

it broke my heart with flakes of falling silence that a pen could never trace.

Sometimes I have no words to explain anything to anyone especially me.

Sometimes every word disappears
I can see them marching off a suicidal cliff everyone dropping to its death.

Sometimes this world carries a silence so thick the words just scramble away like little kids in a field of rye with nobody to protect them.

There is a place inside beyond the scribbling dilly dally dance of my pen that the heart just gets too tired to try to ride.

No more words sliding through the rye.

I have been defeated in a thick, steep silence

my legs dragging logs in unknown territory.

I have been smashed through walls trying to deem it worthy.

I hung on with less than a thread for a right expression.

My fingers clutching air
my eyes burrowed in
my thoughts scraped clean
my words all dead
but why do I come back here?

I must love this game.

This battle to try and save the heart from dying in the quicksand of a silence so great that only tears would hit the pages if no words were there to build me.

When I was 12,
I remember staring down from a hundred foot ledge.

I stood right at the edge for 3 hours looking down.

Filled with things I couldn't speak of all I could think about was jumping.

I don't know why I didn't.

Everything black burned inside
like the devil stormed your castle and killed everyone
but left you alive to suffer.

Now I understand.

There is a conspiracy against the light.

We must hold on with everything we got.

We are the ones,
spirit will use to help heal the darkness.


There is more going on than meets the eye.

Use your light.

Don't jump.

I believe in you.
We have legions of angels on our side.

Ask them for help.
They will come.
Use your heart.
Heaven lives inside it.

Following the fracture, I closed two eyes and opened up my 3rd one.

You fashioned me to the oceans elastic patience.

Aching for the masters haven I bled out wind to sing for you.

Following the fracture I dipped down below the surface to surrender to the undertow of Faith.

My one wish returned in the aftermath of break.

Risen up, You enhanced me.
Swelling blooms upon every hill verified what I always knew.

How light infiltrates beneath the skin once you forgive the mangled wounds.

Infiltrate me again.
I have never tasted a sweeter scent than You.