Opening in silence to your neon yellow petal,

I found your voice to be the sun beam to every garden.

My blood poured into this moist, fertilized soil.

Scars and burns settled, grew over time to be priceless teachers
in a school for rising angels.

Opening in the space inside me I have carried your cherished color
as it bled its dreams into my skin.

You are change less.

I am the broken circle
  made whole in the forgiveness
  of perfect light.

When your mysterious eyes opened up like a full moon sneaking past a gigantic dark cloud,

every stream of You
  blossomed me

not even the rigid concrete
  could stop the growth
   of our immortal connection.

You are everywhere
  burning for every eye
    to know you.

You spoke and said,
Everyone is my precious family.
Some have just forgotten
their neon yellow petals
all connect to me.

Never to be severed,
that middle rip I have trouble writing about.

Never to be severed
every nation inside you defeated
unable to see past billowing battle smoke.

Not pushed or shoved down a well but savagely kicked in solar plexus
after only learning how to ride a bike.

**** up ***** water.
Choke on betrayal.
Mom's ****** face calling to you.
Step dad hit her so many times you lost count.

Too young to understand this will be your great lesson.

Packed into someone else's violent
shell, load me into your hollow chamber, fire me, like shots heard around the world.

Martin. Kennedy. Africa. Christ.

Severe me.
Break my heart in a thousand ways.

From now on nothing will be the same.

This will be Love facing the gun.
This will be my God on the cross.
This will be clomping boots terrorizing Purple Mountain Majesty.

No one will know, my child.
No one will know us.
We will never trust.
We will cry for our lost god.

Why has he abandoned us?

We will fold up silence and pack it tight into our suit case.
No one will know.
We shall not speak of it.

We will use mixed metaphors to erase the true origin of our salted wound.

We will fly across troubled waters,
people will smile at us but we won't smile back.

We will eat the shattering palace of paradise and it will taste like the bottomless pit of hell.

We will gnash our teeth over rebellious years, we will cope on poison, on fleeting pleasure, we will learn to write flames over golden arches.

We will close ourselves.
We will store our hollowed house so deep into our bones not even I will be able to find it.

No one must know us.
We will break apart.
We will traverse a haunted world
finding others like us.

We will make friends with the battered face of recognition.

We will eat the betrayed dust of every nation.

Our anger will have no limits.
We will use it to condemn ourselves.
We will practice self mutilation.

We will hide our most precious love in the silence of a pen scribbling away years searching for reason in  caved in coal mines,

our interior selves packed tight with  'blacker than black' darkness,

yet we will not stop searching for diamonds.

No.

We will still have hope.
We will still go on.
Bashed in, fermented in rot.
Our throats thirsty for golden ale.

Our eyes still roped in by the whisper and grandeur of sunset,
our hearts full of uncontrollable aching for this moonlight plastered in water, we will still hear John The Baptist's voice screaming in the cell of our bleakest, darkest dungeon.

Have you Not Known?
Have you not Heard?
Has it not been told to you from the beginning?

Even though our foundation is crumbled we will look high and low in the valley for our healing prophet.

Never to be severed,
severed in the break of hallow ground. We will know that violence is not the way even when we want to **** ourselves.

Our ears to the earth
listening for her hidden spring
we will cut our pathway into secret channels.

We will scramble for it.
Restless for a taste of purity.
Our haunted inspiration will leak resin and find twisted flame.

Our desire will grow higher.
Our fire will fan into every capillary.
We will carry hidden, super forest fires in our eyes until we hit the ocean.

We will laugh until our abs are rolling down the hill.

We will make unforgettable friends and we will find comfort in each other.

We will open up slowly.
Taking our time.
Our love vapors will find a way around the darkness.

It will build up, our awareness connected to A Great Hall, every part of our fragmented self will start to seek it.

We will have close encounters with powerful peaceful angels stirring us in our sleep. We will thirst for Home with a thirst so deep the entire galaxy will hear us.

We will realize we were wrong to hate.

We will feel ashamed of our misplaced ways.

We will ask deeper questions.
We will read more prophets.
We will learn to forgive it all.

We will have compassion on ourselves.

Our unworthiness will learn to cry and in our willingness to change:

The Great Spirit will ask for our permission to heal us.

We will say Yes.
We will be cleaned out.
Every ***** action brutally ****** upon us will be wiped away.

We will understand we are bigger.
Every single human being is our brother, sister, mother, father.

We will feel the unlimited love from the Great spirit and we will never be the same.

We will make it our new mission to love.

We will walk lightly now.

Our expanded understanding has made our eyes into vistas, deserts,
rivers, oceans, we will flow, never to be severed, we will seek to heal entire nations.

We are back.
Complete.

In full knowing of who we are, where we came from, resting from want as the Great Spirit has returned to us.

We are all angels.
Even the wretched ones.

Our souls will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine because we were willing to brave the darkness.

The madness of light running
  faster than sound
   casting beauty of
     slivered shadows
        slanting cool down
            a ***** ripe with two sides.


The dichotomy of Spring versus Winter in a one day battle.

Both ingredients sugaring blue sky
  in circling confusion.

The unmailed envelope to God
sits on the silent porch waiting to be picked up by the wind.

Every restless word turned to leather-
protecting a vulnerable chamber
from the insanity of hostile teeth.

The madness of light sheds its message to frigid corners, says
  Remember my warmth.

The sweep of connection alights his eyes with fascination.

Set on fire
protected from
the attack of everything dark.

He walks the blackest rim
knowing The Master is by his side.

Exploding in skin
this light grows
in crescendo, swelling up
to cascade in auditorium ears,

violen strings cutting the hidden ache making it leak symphonies.

Silent storms breaking cliffs,
sections of you cannonball to water.

Underwater music brings out electric eels to zap and dance.

You slowly sink down
  staring breathless at sun lasers
slicing through sea blue water
  

You marvel at their
resiliency to reach
the rock bottom depths
  
where even the darkness dwelling
  creatures hear the music of the sun.

Transparent sky
tickling clouds
laughing light

angelic angles
mysterious views
  once dark, now bright

sliding clarity
ladder of hope
strength of twilight

blending the blessing
of gentle blue stretching
through black,

blizzard in Spring

two world's meet
  snow falling in Pure Sunlight

meet me out back
of the store
where entanglement

unlocks the golden door
  with hidden keys
from God's tears

sliding unbelievably
  down my face.

Words die in my mouth.
Hoodoos rise. Tangerine hotels smearing through forest.

Crisp days slip into moaning starlight winds, fierce as a Lion
attacking you in a den.

Nothing to say.

Underground roots dig.
Find my branches, make them split.

I woke up early.
Went outside.
Full moon going down.
Sun coming up.
Rainbow clouds to the west
Red orange, blue violet to the East.

Captivated, it held me hostage
turned the vault door,
words died in my mouth.

Silence stormed in
brushed my canvas
with strokes from an
invisible painter.

My eyes filled up with sea.
The waves crashed inside me.

Turning into silence, every word came alive like the new grass of spring on a hill that remembered
my rain drops on its scalp.

You were the blossom of my heart in a place that cried my name using my eyes to fall from.

Turning into Silence

I heard your other worldly wings
collaging petals in a scrap book
that changed everything when I saw it.

How can my limited ability even begin to describe it?

The silence between us is a
mountain side,

  my unwanted creeks still creep
      through you searching for the puzzling slice of your *****

fallen away,


my prayers for you
  bleeding howls
on a peak

where winds are intense hands
   massaging every Pine

making them sing.

The silence between us
6 years solid,
not one word

What was it you said,
"I need you in my life. You are family."

The last thing you said to me before you vanished.

Your eyes cut me with jade.
Your red hair hangs me from a limb.
Your distance carves me into a canyon but the water found another outlet to flow into.

I am triple what I was the last time you saw me.

My heart pulls down the Sun
and shines anywhere I direct it.

I told you once,
my love would never stop
  finding you, no matter what.

Here it is.
I know you can feel it.
Even now.

The silence between us made it grow stronger.

The creeks surge forward, ever vigilant, solitary rushes cascading down the invisible ***** of your name.

It can never die.