i've been building sentences
for you, because there are
too many words to keep them
stagnant and docile.

oh, words on melancholy smiles,
chipped porcelain and
sunlight dappled through your hair
like the sun herself had
kissed the crown of your head.

i've been writing you letters
inside of my head. little golden
pinpricks of love
seeping through my cells
because my body cannot hold
the very idea of loving you.

in those moments, i am liminal,
held tight by the arch of your spine,
the pads of your fingers,
the way that you held my name
in your mouth before
it rolled off of your tongue and
the smell of your skin
in a dark room, with only
the moon watching us
woefully, sweetly.

words like saccharine and
your name, slow like honey,
taste sweet enough
to make me cry.

i've been stuck on the idea
of loving you, loving me
and wringing my hands
over bad luck, mon petite chou.

and still, you close your eyes,
clasp your hands over your ears
and brush off my words like
dust or snowflakes or
unrequited love.

and i never said goodbye
but i don’t know where to start, anyway
though you’ve never been more at peace
apart, we just fell apart

please, please send your guidance
and don’t answer with a question
I’m just naive
don’t forgive, just forget, forgive again

I watch the evening smoke fade into orange
and the reds into black
you’ve always been a lamp unto my feet
in a blank world
give me comatose joy
like recurring memories
well the snow is shimmering in now
slanting dark colors, shading my destiny

can we just rewind time while I watch you age backwards?
forever changing the shape of memory
again, just show me how victory’s sweet,
even in death

hey, this dirt road’s empty
littered with cans from summer nights
deliver me, make me honest, make me clean
take me home, tell me where

wait, calm me with your voice
take me back to the old willow tree
make me dizzy with laughter
push me in the creek, again

like 2008 goodbye,
give me tears of pride
soft winds are sweeping away my days
as evening fades to night
you’ve always been a empty book to me,
an empty box to fill with notes
I still feel you, like a shadow on the empty plains
you’re a gushing waterfall
that’s run dry

can we just rewind time while I watch you age backwards?
forever changing the shape of memory
again, just show me how victory’s sweet,
even in death

you never judged
never condemned, cause that’s not you
and I never asked enough,
sought what I should have…
and tomorrow is here, unknown
all these changes and time—
and it’s you on my mind

like the evening smoke fading into orange
while the reds are fading into the black
oh today is just a nightmare
chaos and uncertainty
your boardwalk isn’t the same.
as I give way to **** poor dreams
like jumping out of a plane, with no parachute

I feel like you constructed this universe,
had it in the palm of your aged, lined hand
this perfect society of infinity

I lay and watch the sky get darker
the sunset through the naked branches of our tree
the stars emerge like diamonds
I remember how you always wished on the ones that
“have the courage to stay where they are”
and I retrace our steps of old to your empty room
to the datebook you lived by
you missed your dentist’s appointment,
never made it to my senior night.

but today, just hear my call
send me your voice
guide my feet as i walk away
as i take my steps into this ever-changing
presence we call life
watch over me from above with your knowing smile
and show me how victory’s sweet
even in death

Your elegance reminds me of aged wine
Your smile is bright like a noon time sunshine
Our love isn't built out in public but in the privacy of our own home kinda like moonshine
Prohibition couldn't keep this love from happening instead it made our moonshine stronger and our bond grow tighter and this love last longer
When you smile the curves from your lips  
Is like when the moon blocks the sun
My beautiful solar eclipse
Your smile makes me lose control I can't find the grips
Your crescent shaped grin
stirs me deep from within
And we keep stirring our love in this tub made of tin
Me and my Moon Shine mixing up moonshine
And it shows when we walk in the daytime
Still hungover from last night we were drinking too much
But we didn't know better because we didn't feel like we were drinking enough
Now we can't wait to get home so we can indulge more of this stuff
We just keep on mixing and it gets better and better
But neither of us can do it alone we have to mix it together
And we are going to keep on drinking no matter the weather
Whether it rains all the time
Or the sun decides to shine
I will be with my moon light sipping this home made wine
We've made so much moonshine we can make a wishing well
You can ask me how to make it but I promise I'll never tell
Or if you  try to buy some moonshine I'll say it's not for sale
If we get caught with all this moonshine we will probably go to jail
But even then I will not stop mixing up Moonshine with my lovely Moon Shine

Stare at your bedroom wall
and bard me a story about
the creeks of white between
the sun-patches of blue paint,
the faded yellow of the door
where the damp towel was hung
day after day after day.
Tell me about the mark
of a swept paintbrush
that accidentally destroyed
distinction between wall
and radiator.
They're no longer clean,
either of them.
How are the door handle dent marks
from that hurried moment when
you rushed into your room
away from our argument?
What of those stories?
Will you need a new place
to erase the memories from your mind?
The flies and the walls cannot speak
to anyone but you now.

It's all rotten anyway.
The sweet stink of evenings
spent in an intimate supine,
with a cleaver caught upright
in the cutting board bedpost.
We were atop one another
with our faces to the ceiling,
reading passages of poems aloud
after drenching the bed sheets
in varied indentations.
Cut words and minced gazes,
we grayed as shadows
against those weathered walls.
I remember those walls,
moonlight had reflected off the frames
of littered photographs, those stories,
and created a dance floor pattern of crescents
and plank-meeting-plank askew.
Those walls will tell me stories
even if you decide not to anymore.
I'd buy them all up, I would,
as I do the meat hook-hanging
in the butcher shop.

They say there is a world that stands beside our own.
We cannot see it ‘til we pass on through that wall
‘Tween Life and Death.
Once there we are restored to what we were
At twenty five.
All ills removed to leave us all in perfect health.
There is no hell nor heaven waiting there for us,
No punishment for sins committed through our lives.
Nor golden pavements flanking diamond streets
For those who have been “good”.

Yet call this Heaven if you will.
What’s in a name I have to ask.
Let’s call them Angels who live there.
They watch our struggles through this Earthly life.
On passing some will even go
To their own funeral.
It’s said this nether-world is made of spheres
One atop the other
Through which you rise as you “mature”
In a spiritual sense.
All Angels work together
Just learning what they can:
And growing to a higher plane.

All this is said,
By many round the world.
My Hope
Is that
They’re right.

Inspire me to aspire.
To fulfil my every desire.
Come down you Muses.
Swoop low from Mount Olympus.
Fill me with your blazing fire.
Make me rise like a Phoenix,
Soaring aloft with burnished wings.

Give me a vision
Of Heavens paved with gold.
Let me see palaces
Carved from diamonds
Made in Neptune’s
Molten core.

Blind me with a light
So fearsome
I can barely look.
Show me infinity,
Eternal bliss.
Make me feel
A boundless Love.

Well,
What are you waiting for?

Paul Butters

Knife in right hand.
left arm ready.
Shaking,Trembling, your eyes are heavy.
Strike the blade across swiftly to get it over with quickly.
Feel the burn
Feel your bad day go away.

Just one cut, not enough
try again. and again. and again. and again.
Salty tears stream down your face
one more cut will do the trick
then you're numb for just a a bit.
Until tomorrow, when things go wrong
the voices start when you're alone

You make more slits
you're left with red scars
little battle wounds
you can see them
feel them
hide them too.
you seek no attention just a little relief
relief thats self inflicted on your own body.

Small cuts do the trick
for now at least
never question superficial wounds
just cover them up
until theres no more room.