I know how to ask the questions —
asking isn’t the problem.

Listening is easy —
just be still.

Is it there?
In her shrill voice in the twilight
in the bark below my window
in the cry next door —
of exultation, of pain, of sorrow, of life
why am I silent?

In my own mind
I have answers
to questions not yet asked,
for fear of death or deep despair.

Do you know where I wander
when my eyes are glazed
and my scowl is set
it’s foreign there
would you follow?
would anyone follow?
why won’t anyone follow?

Where are the answers?

Some men have greatness ****** upon them.
While some men, are average

They resent their privilege,
and miss their dog,
and hate their dad,
even if they know —
he’s just human.

These men don’t want greatness.
No,
they wouldn’t know what to do with greatness
if it kissed them upon their lips.

No,
all they want,
is someone to talk to.

But all they see,
and all they can feel,
is the blank page.

And all they hear,
no matter how hard they strain,
and beg,
and plead,
is silence.

Not heartless, heartbroken
not manipulative, not terroristic

Not heartless, heartbroken
the fields of grass sway bright blue and green
under a red sky weeping
horseless, loveless, alone.

It’s not an unerring path
it’s a wounded warrior pierced by stalactites
huddled cold in the winter
a man searching, and hurting, and crying

Better to have loved
to have splintered
to have shattered
to have hurt
than to remain
the King
of Pluto.

It’s terrible to be alone

to be high
when you wish
to fall



It hurts
to search
and
not find


to see
and not know


to fill
and feel everything rush
like a sieve


to wake alone
       and eat alone

              and watch alone

                     and sleep alone

                            and think alone


and to be crippled

and to not know



It's terrible to be alone

Red mutes hurried through the passages, underneath
They mewled in a soundless frenzy — straining
Mania drove their bodies against the walls, and broke through
Rain, a drowning curtain from prejudiced eyes
Stop! and stay there, down below, together
So the caverns may echo, but no one will know.

Do I care?

How was it?
Why didn’t you call?
Why didn’t you come?
Why didn’t you go?

**** her.  *******. **** me.

No.
Stop.

Drink, drink, stop, don’t, stop, stop.
Why?
Just let me-
No- I want this.
Fine.

Get out.

I’m sorry?

I soared through the clouds
felt their cold tickle my face,
nerves spiked,
freedom in my nose and my veins

I lay in the jungle
the sweat clung to me like Velcro
a grassy rug underneath
bugs clicked, ticked, tickled all around

On the beach
the water was too cold
and the sand too hot
but where were the sirens?

I walked onto the highway
for my first drive
attraction consumed me
coarse asphalt tripped me

The lights passing held allure like no other.

My clothing was too heavy
so we took it off

My roommate was too close
so he turned away

Our lust was too strong
so we let it burn

And it consumed us.