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Bre Steele Sep 2015
You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to **** you.
You died before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one gray toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My ****** friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gipsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You--

Not God but a *******
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the *****.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two--
The vampire who said he was you
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat black heart
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you *******, I'm through.

-sylvia plath 1932 -1963
Bre Steele Sep 2015
But Darling, lately I've been on everyones' to do list
but my own.
Bre Steele Sep 2015
She's so pretty they say
as she passes them on her way
it's a shame about the way she conducts herself

For so fair she is so dark
for so light she is so sad
for so funny she is so mad

She wont let anyone stop to ask
with her head in the clouds and her mind in gutter
the thoughts are returning as she inhales the tar and nicotine

the walls have started to close in
made her uncomfortable in her own skin
clutching at the unwanted, the hatred
why is it so hard for her to love herself
they ask

she wants to scream
Do you know how hard it is for me to love me
when you spend everyday over the toilet bowl
purging emotions
emptying my body of soul
stopping the hatred
i cannot ingest because of the regret of who i am
Bre Steele Aug 2015
I didn't care for your fancy car. The one you claimed got you all the pretty girls.
I liked the way you drove that fancy car. Grasping at the vibrating stick shift, rocketing forward into the fast lane. My head being whipped around.
i wont give whiplash, you hot mess.
I liked the whiplash. The way you would look at me when you drove a little risky. That look of adventure on my face. I liked the way you drove that fancy car.

I didn't care for your strong tattooed body. The one that made you think you were untouchable.
I liked the way my head fit into the space between your shoulder and chest. That one night you held me closer than you had before.
you don't like to sleep like this. shut-up don't ruin it.
Bre Steele Apr 2015
You have filled the space that occupies my mind  
the space which was once filled with anger and loneliness
where all of the demons were hiding
the "i told you so's"
and the "you are not good enough"
It was not meant to happen
It should not have happened
One alcohol humid night
all of us said yes
we blanked out the lonely and the dark places
to let the air of illusion fill the void
When it should have been screaming no
it screamed yes
it does not love you
you are not caring or kind
you are powerful and strong
you are complicated and devastating
and yet you fill that space that occupies my mind
Bre Steele Feb 2013
It's empty I tell you,
How empty?
Really empty
Someone stole it
It must have been a monster
A real monster
Do you know this monster?
Too well
Why did you let him in?
I didn't think he was a monster
Was he handsome?
Very handsome
Do you think he'll return it
Never
How could you trust a monster like that?
He used sweet words
Your a fool!
Anyone would have fallen for the monster's charm
Did he at least some crumbs?
A few
Can you make a whole one out of the crumbs?
Its just not the same
I know, Nothings ever the same as the last cookie
Bre Steele Feb 2013
what have you done
to me
take a step back
think
very carefully
id appreciate if
my heart would stop
hysterically
beating in
my chest
id like not
to have
a headache
when i think
of you
i wish
you had
not gotten
to me
who am
i to
you
or is
it just
lust
and
intoxication
take
me back
into your
arms
its getting cold
i need your
warmth
wrap me
around
your finger
please take
me back to your
bed
hold me
please
im
dying.
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