I hear your voice louder than ever
in the silence.

As I stare at this empty page,
I think of all the things that could make a change.
Words, that could make someone feel
all the things in the world that are cruel.
I don't understand how God could let this happen,
Or what goes on in those people's heads.
Why would anyone, ANYONE, want to kidnap,
steal, ****, or **** an innocent person.
I recently experienced one of these four things,
not to its fullest, but I got a taste of the mind behind the sinner.
These people make me sick.
I want to make a change,
but I don't know how.
I hope for a better world,
where it is safe for children
and women
to go somewhere by themselves
and not worry about the bad choices others could make.
I hope for a changed world.

I think i'm addicted
no, not to drugs
not to alcohol
but to pain
not physical pain but emotional
i go through periods of high happiness
when i'm here
i want to feel sad
all i want is to cry and feel something
when he broke my heart
i liked crying
i didn't like being sad
but i liked crying
i don't know why
but i love that feeling
so gut wrenchingly sad
that your heart aches so bad
i love it and hate it at the same time
i'm addicted and can't be treated

remember when you said you adored me?
what happened to us?
I miss who we were back then.

when was the exact moment when you decided you'd let me down again?
was it when i asked you to sleep over and you figured you'd lead me on?
was it yesterday when you decided not to go home?
or was it today when you got a better offer to hang out with strangers?
I keep falling for your stupid games
i ask you if you ever wanted to and you say you did
but you never do
and i should put the pieces together
because actions speak louder than words.
this doesn't affect you
it only affects me
because every time i get my hopes up
I have to keep one foot in reality
because your unpredictability is predictable
and my heart break a little bit every time you leave me hanging.

sleeping against the wall almost felt like you, but not quite.

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I really love you a lot.

You put everthing else before me,
you dont text me back for days at a time,
you only talk to me when you are having a bad day,
but when I need to talk you think my problems are insignificant.
You call me names and say things to me
that make me feel like I am a ****,
you say you aren't using me because
there is a sentimental value when we touch,
but I can't help feeling worthless when we're done.

I told you last night
that I'm not letting this happen any more
and that if you want me in your life
you're going to have to prove it.

and you said "alrighty then".

Sweet darling,

I've always known
but lately I've been feeling it more
I have never been more sure of it
than I am at this moment

I want to be in your intense love
for the rest of my life
I want to feel your passion
with every touch
You are the love of my life
and the one that I want

Making my heart feel like its summer
when the rain is pouring down
is an understatement
My heart is on fire
in this cold cold winter
and the reason is clear

its you
its always been you

You are so clearly
meant for me

So be mine
for the rest of our lives
be mine
and we will light up this world

I am here for you
and you are here for me

we will come home to such a warm house
filled with our undying love and passion

I hope if you ever tell me you love me
that I can believe it
and that you honestly mean it.

because i already know
this will be the biggest heartbreak yet.

Is it okay to put up with someone being a **** to you
If you know they are broken?

I see it
can't reach it
but almost there
fall out of my chair
get up, gotta keep goin
trip over a book
get even closer
can't give up now
just about there
I got it, i gots
my chapstick.

Im terrified of commitment
yet that is the only thing i want.

you treat me like second choice
i am not
i repeat not
a second choice

i'm not one for cursing
but you make me want to curse like a sailor.

I need a Romeo
to die for this Juliet,
I need someone willing
to catch me if I fall for him.
Someone sweet
Someone kind
Someone who won't lie to me.
All I ever wanted was a guy
to make me happy.
So many impostures,
break, break, breaking my heart.
I think I've cried so much
that I could cry you a river.

Even though you broke my heart
I still want to hold you
wishing every day that you would realize
that she's wrong for you.
please come back to  me
I wonder what we could be

I miss you and I know you miss me too
baby please come back to me
she is getting in our way.

you walked into my life
as just another guy
made an effort, hoping
I would notice, guess what,
I did, it worked, you're in.

we talked for a while
hit it off, now we're
working on us.

these days are the good ones,
when a simple wave can make our days.
no fights, its like we're high,
not feeling pain, can't stop smiling.

now everything is tumbling down,
don't know what's going on.
wondering where we went wrong.
is it because I didn't want to "hang"?
well I had a reason for that,
news gets around quick, especially
when you tell your cousin, my best friend,
you weren't gonna talk to me this summer,
what's that about?!

I got furious you see,
you talk to me like everything is like normal,
I tried but it wasn't the same.

we fell out of love,
or whatever we had.
then we meet again,
go swimming,
have fun,
you took my heart prisoner,
and I fell in love all over again,
but it's different this time,
*I can't love you , you love another.

Don't tell me that you love me
when I am finally moving on,
Don't tell me you don't want me
after my heart sang your song.
Don't tell me about her
because you told me you moved on.

Love is a dangerous thing,
if you're the only one
drowning in it.

I feel empty without your love.
you were the only thing I wanted and the only thing I wanted to love.
but since youve been gone, I want nothing more than to belong.
I was more when I was with you, but now I am empty all day long.

You touched my heart
and managed to rip it out
like it was yours to take.
If you asked,
I would've given it to you
without a second thought.
But your self righteous attitude
assumed you could take it and
not give anything back.
So I was left here sitting on the floor
of our abandoned apartment
with an empty chest and a full mind.
All I could think was how stupid of me
to think you could actually love me too.

Im here thinking about you
while you are thinking about her,
and she is thinking about him.
Me and you are in the same boat,
both with bullet wounds in our hearts
from the one's we've loved
who don't want to love us back.

When it is about to end,
you always think back to the beginning.

Have you ever realized
that if you didn't wake up late yesterday
something would be different?

what if you took a different way to work last week,
something might be different right now.

Every single decision you made
made you into who you are right this second

Every move you've made
has brought you to this moment.

Ive been thinking how my life would be different
if i never switched classes
if i never sat where i sat
if i never talked to you
if i liked someone else
if i never gave you the time of day
if i never knew you

If i never did any of these things
I wouldn't be heartbroken right now
I wouldn't be alone
and i would still be giving guys a chance

but no
i made those decision
and i am here
im where i am because of this

Every single decision you make
makes you into who you are supposed to be
and where you are supposed to be

i want to spend every waking moment with you, love.

Every time someone asks me if we are together
A huge smile spreads across my face
and I cant help it.

No wonder no one believes me
when i say we aren't.

A simple look
can say so much

A simple glance
can mean a thousand words

After all
Eye contact is
how souls catch on fire.


The way you look at me
I can tell
we will be
in each others hearts
for quite a while
if not for eternity.

friends for four years
separating for college
going to different states
and losing them forever.

it ***** when one of your best friends
starts to get annoyed by your presence
we used to hang out all the time
and be happy together.

now you think i am weird
when all i am doing is having fun
with one of our other best friends.

nothing ***** more than losing a friend
because "thats the way life is".

And I can't figure out
If I keep having flashbacks from that day
Because I enjoyed it
Or because it was the biggest mistake of my life.

when i need to focus the most
is when you flood into my mind
i cant concentrate
with you on my mind

when i stay up late to do homework
i find my self writing poems or crying about you
because i remember how you made me feel
and how i feel now

after all we had
you treat me like a stranger now
i do the same and i understand why
but deep down inside
i still wonder how you do it

A better way to get to know someone
Is to ask what they do at 4am when they are wide awake.
It sure beats
"What's your favorite color?"

4am is when
The deep thoughts come out
When
You start to miss people
And when you truly become yourself.

I feel like I'm going crazy.
I feel extremely lonely
My mood goes from up to down
I'm pushing the one person I care about most away
I'm looking for happiness in the wrong people
I cry easily
I can't focus on my homework
I want to be alone but being alone hurts
I can't stop being the person I used to be
And I feel like I'm going crazy.

on your good days
i liked you

on your bad days
i loved you

Cut my heart strings free from yours.
I can't keep being dragged around by you
while you are reattaching to someone new.

"The world is a rotten place,
if you find even a sliver of happiness,
you gotta hold on to it"

I tried,
but what happens when your sliver of happiness
lets go?

So I wrote you a poem.

Which means I trust(ed) you.
I gave it to you for Christmas
at your little Christmas party
thinking you would read it later.
When you begged like a child,
i let you open part of your present,
but then you got into the rest
after I told you not to read it.
you  read  it  out  loud
in front of all our friends.
I felt my cheeks flush
and vision narrow,
thinking "I have to get away".
I go to the kitchen and pretend
i'm okay.

But I wasn't okay.

I gave you a piece of me,
no,
I trusted you with a piece of me.
and you gave it all away.
You showed the world my most sacred part of me,
without thinking if I wanted everyone to hear.

Thank you, "best friend", for showing me
that I made a mistake trusting you.

oh darling
when will you realize that home
is not a house
but a feeling

i have this one hope
i hope that one day
you will show up at my house

i hope that you will surprise me
i hope that you will profess your love to me
i hope that you can sweep me off my feet
i hope that you secretly love me and are just good at hiding it

i hope i'm not delusional
but i know i am
i know you will never come to my house
i know that only happens in the movies
i know you don't secretly love me
because if you did
you wouldn't have left me in the first place

i can only be hopeful
hope is the only thing i have
because i sure don't have you

people are like houses.
they may look perfect on the outside
but they might be messed up on the inside.

and you'll never know
unless they open up the door
and you step inside.

I may not be
as loud as others.
I may not be
as opinionated as others.
I may not be
the best at giving advice.
I may not be
happy all the time.
I may not be
as easy to be around as others.
I may not be
the one who starts the conversation.
I may not be
easy to handle.
I may not be
okay with what you want me to do.
I may not be
the prettiest girl around.
I may not be
the smartest girl around.
I may not be
the most confident girl around.
but
I am
smart.
I am
beautiful.
I am
unique.
I am
valued.
I am
loved.
I am
as important as everyone else.
I am
worthy of the best.

Just because I am shy doesn't mean anything.
I still have important things to say.
Speaking doesn't come easily to everyone.
I am capable of thought.
I am capable of opinions.
And I am capable of being mad.
No I don't want to repeat after you.
I will speak when, and if, I want to speak.
Just because I am not the loudest at the party, doesn't mean I am not human.
I have a voice. I have feelings. I am normal. I am loved.

If you have ever felt belittled for being shy, just say "ƒuçk ¥øu!" and walk away.
No one has the right to make you feel that way.
You are not less than them.
You are a beautiful, talented, important human being and you have an unique personality which people appreciate and value.
So don't ever think you are worthless.
And know that you are not alone.

If only you knew what i think of you
In the middle of the night when i should be sleeping
In the middle of the day when i see you reading
I don't know if this is love
But i love the way you move
Reading a book, writing a thought, even listening in class
Your idiosyncrasy grabs my heart
If only you knew what I thought of you
when you kissed my lips, I thought it would last
when you held my hand, I was enchanted at last
All i was, was in love with being loved
If only you knew
How i think of you now that you're gone
If only you knew
What i think when i see you with someone new
Ive fallen in love with the way you move
the way you touch
the way you feel
the way  you think
I don't want anyone to fall in love with these things
Because they won't appreciate them the way i do.

I can tell something is wrong
but you won't tell me.

I can tell because
your mood easily
affects my mood.

Just thinking about you not being okay
brings tears to my eyes
and a horrible feeling in my stomach.

I think I love you,
but I want you to be happy
so I'm letting you go.

do you know what it feels like
to be sweet talked then back stabbed?

do you know what it feels like
for everyone to know what you've done?

do you know what it feels like
when he leaves after you let him see another layer of you?

do you know what it feels like
to be used when you thought he care about you?

do you know what it feels like
for him to never speak to you again after you finally let him in?

do you know what it feels like
when your first boyfriend does these things?

do you know what it feels like
when you call me those names even when your'e kidding?

do you know what it feels like
when you can't trust anyone after what has happened to you?

do you know what it feels like
to live with all the regret because he made you do those things?

do you know what it feels like
to want to know why no one can love you?

do you know what it feels like**
because I do.

it has taken 8 months for me to fall in love with you
but it will take a lifetime to admit it.

I have a fear of commitment,
but right now,
I would commit to you in a heartbeat.

My mom keeps asking if
he and I have had a "falling out".
I keep saying no,
but somehow she always knows what's going on.
I was getting defensive,
and she asked if he tried to get fresh with me.
I said no,
thinking "he already tried that, and succeeded"

I never really thought "getting fresh" was a problem.
Today's society revolves around that.
Girls are taught that if a guy wants to touch your **** or *****,
you should let him,
but only after you've made him beg for a bit.

It's sad, really.
My mom asked me this
because she thought I had enough decency
not to "get fresh" with him.
But little does she know,
this society shaped me into someone I don't like
because she never tried to teach me how to be respectable.
Don't get me wrong,
my mother is a great mom who wants the best for me
and she is respected by my father.
You would think that I would
use their relationship as an example
but I guess I didn't.
I've done disreputable, immoral
things with him.
And I never thought twice about it.
I knew the first time I did those things,
that it wasn't right,
but I couldn't stop.
And then when I did them with him,
outside of a commitment,
I knew it was wrong
but I didn't care.
I was so numb
and used to it
that I didn't care enough about myself
to stop.

So,
Sorry mom.
I am not a little angel
and I am not your little girl.
The devil has been in control of me
and I liked it.
But I know better,
so Im changing who I am.
Im going to be more respectful to my body.
I am not going to let others sweet talk me into their beds,
or mine for that matter.

always awake thinking
always breaking down
in silence

late at night
when  i know you're sleeping
i think of you
and your gently blue
eyes

late at night
i think of all our memories

i think of how we are strangers now
and how it wasn't supposed to end this way

we agreed on being friends
but neither of us tried in the end

it came down to us ignoring each other
i hate hate hate all of this

i know its for the best
but all i want is to say hi to you

you were an important part of my life
and now you drifted into my past

you used to be my present and my future
but i knew that wouldn't last

i put my heart on the line
just to take a chance

and now my heart is torn
and you're a glance gone wrong

Sitting here in your arms
on this warm beach
as the sun comes up for all to see,
I feel at home,
safe and happy.
It's hard to explain how I feel,
but somehow when your arms are wrapped around me,
i feel as if everything will be okay.
It's really a beautiful feeling
and I'm lucky to get to feel it in this lifetime,
I'm lucky I get to feel it with you.
I love you.