Cut my heart strings free from yours.
I can't keep being dragged around by you
while you are reattaching to someone new.

I saw you every day in second period
we talked when we were supposed to be reading
i always sat half turned around in my seat
we always played footsies
we always hugged at the end of class
i always glanced at you at break when you were with your friends
i always stopped at your locker before 5th
we always walked to class
we always got stares from the teacher like she knew what was up
we always sat together in chapel
we always sat close and nudged each other
we always exchanged glances before 6th
you always walked me to my car after school
we always texted 24/7
we alway hung out before your practices
we always went out on fridays
we always kissed passionately
we always cuddled in the movies
we always had fun
we were always together

now we don't speak
now we don't make eye contact
now we sit on opposite rooms and read along in class
now i try to sneak glances at you
now i just hope you look back
now i try not to look at you and her at break
now i walk past your locker
now we pretend to not see each other when we walk by
now we sit apart in chapel
now we don't text
now we hang out with our own friends on fridays
now we talk to our friends after school
now we sit solitarily in movies
now we are never together

but the only thing that hasn't changed
is my love for you
that will always remain
i hope you know that

I love you because**...
There is more than one layer to you.
You have feelings.
You tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
You try to make me stronger.
You treat me like I am better than I really am.
You reassured me when I was in doubt.
You are nerdy.
You have problems.
You take care of me.
I want to take care of you too.
You make time for me.
You want to spend time with me.
You believe there is more to me than my shyness may mislead.
You trust me.
You call me in the middle of the night to tell me about your nightmares.
You're not sappy all the time.
You are my best friend.
and this is why I love you.

You are like a breath of fresh air.
Being away from you feels like I cant breathe,
and then when i see you, when i finally hold you again,
I feel my lungs start to inflate again.
But when I am with you, and i remember,
I  start to suffocate.
It's like there is a plastic bag over my head
and toxic fumes are filling my lungs
and I keep gasping for air
but I start to turn blue
because loving you hurts.

Im too young
to feel this broken
Too young
to be in love
I was heart broken once
and i vowed to never be again
i waited awhile
then you came along
you showed an interest
and i was optimistic
i said "ill give it a shot"
"Ill be careful"
"i won't get hurt"
i fell
too hard, and too fast
you left me emphatically heartbroken
i vowed this would never happen again
i broke that vow
but this time
i'm serious.

Who are you
when no one is looking?

Who are you
behind closed doors?

is it different
than when you're in public?

If it is, ask yourself why.

Are you putting up a front
Just to be accepted
Just to fit in

If so,
you will lose who you truly are.
and who you are
is the most important thing in this world

don't ever lose it
because you are extraordinary.

You touched my heart
and managed to rip it out
like it was yours to take.
If you asked,
I would've given it to you
without a second thought.
But your self righteous attitude
assumed you could take it and
not give anything back.
So I was left here sitting on the floor
of our abandoned apartment
with an empty chest and a full mind.
All I could think was how stupid of me
to think you could actually love me too.

its hard loving you from a distance

Homeschooled boy
Tall, blonde
with acne,
holding a lunch pale.
He gives you that
mesmerizing,
innocent,
sweet smile
as you pass in the hallway.
He makes you blush.
He makes you feel special.
never fall for someone like this
They aren't what they seem.

They aren't innocent,
AT ALL.
All they want from a sweet,
Christian girl
is ***.
All he wanted was to tell his friends
what he did with me.
He didn't care about me.
He just cared about his image.

He was the new, homeschooled kid
and he wanted to fit in.
Oh but he fit in just fine.
He smoked ****.

Little did I know,
because he lied to me
about everything.

In the beginning,
he told me he was an honest person.
Of course I believed him
because I want to see the good in people.
He also asked if I was honest,
I said yes because that was the truth.

One month later,
I found out the truth.
At first I didn't want to believe it,
but he played me.

He lied to me
about who he was,
what he did,
and who he told about us.

This absolutely crushed me.
He was my first boyfriend.
He was just an innocent,
lunch pale-carrying,
boy, right?
all wrong.

I wish I saw the red flags
and never committed to a relationship.
He broke me just as fast as he got me.
and i will never trust again.

Love is a dangerous thing,
if you're the only one
drowning in it.

always awake thinking
always breaking down
in silence

late at night
when  i know you're sleeping
i think of you
and your gently blue
eyes

late at night
i think of all our memories

i think of how we are strangers now
and how it wasn't supposed to end this way

we agreed on being friends
but neither of us tried in the end

it came down to us ignoring each other
i hate hate hate all of this

i know its for the best
but all i want is to say hi to you

you were an important part of my life
and now you drifted into my past

you used to be my present and my future
but i knew that wouldn't last

i put my heart on the line
just to take a chance

and now my heart is torn
and you're a glance gone wrong

wrong person,
right time.

right person,
wrong time.

either way,
it hurts in the end.

I have a fear of commitment,
but right now,
I would commit to you in a heartbeat.

Hand between my legs,
Lips against my neck.
You might think this is the best feeling,
but it will fade.
You'll go too far or
they'll get bored.
Feelings will be hurt and
hearts will be broken
because good things always come to an end.
A promise is the highest form of commitment
yet people throw them around like a paper airplane.
You don't mean anything to them
and it doesn't matter if you "love" them.
You are young,
they don't want to be tied down for life,
they just want to feel good now.
But what i think is
that if you love someone,
then you can feel good with them forever.
So don't cry over someone
who got bored,
doesn't like having *** with you,
or found someone "better".
You are awesome
and you will find someone who thinks so too.
I *promise.

Softly outlining my hand with your gentle fingertips
Released a thousand butterflies in my stomach.

I am so in love with you
and I didn't know this was possible.
They say its easy to love someone when they are happy
and hard to love them when they are sad.
I think whoever said that wasn't really in love because
Loving you when you're happy is easy,
but my love for you grows when you're sad.

you
are stupid
you
are beautiful
you
are so impossible
yet you
are so lovable

Sitting here in your arms
on this warm beach
as the sun comes up for all to see,
I feel at home,
safe and happy.
It's hard to explain how I feel,
but somehow when your arms are wrapped around me,
i feel as if everything will be okay.
It's really a beautiful feeling
and I'm lucky to get to feel it in this lifetime,
I'm lucky I get to feel it with you.
I love you.

Fill in the blank:  ____ scares me.

Every time someone asks me if we are together
A huge smile spreads across my face
and I cant help it.

No wonder no one believes me
when i say we aren't.

A better way to get to know someone
Is to ask what they do at 4am when they are wide awake.
It sure beats
"What's your favorite color?"

4am is when
The deep thoughts come out
When
You start to miss people
And when you truly become yourself.

what do you do
if you're in love with someone
who is all wrong for you?

i have this one hope
i hope that one day
you will show up at my house

i hope that you will surprise me
i hope that you will profess your love to me
i hope that you can sweep me off my feet
i hope that you secretly love me and are just good at hiding it

i hope i'm not delusional
but i know i am
i know you will never come to my house
i know that only happens in the movies
i know you don't secretly love me
because if you did
you wouldn't have left me in the first place

i can only be hopeful
hope is the only thing i have
because i sure don't have you

No matter how prepared I was,
my heart still shattered when you said those words.

Have you ever realized
that if you didn't wake up late yesterday
something would be different?

what if you took a different way to work last week,
something might be different right now.

Every single decision you made
made you into who you are right this second

Every move you've made
has brought you to this moment.

Ive been thinking how my life would be different
if i never switched classes
if i never sat where i sat
if i never talked to you
if i liked someone else
if i never gave you the time of day
if i never knew you

If i never did any of these things
I wouldn't be heartbroken right now
I wouldn't be alone
and i would still be giving guys a chance

but no
i made those decision
and i am here
im where i am because of this

Every single decision you make
makes you into who you are supposed to be
and where you are supposed to be

I can tell something is wrong
but you won't tell me.

I can tell because
your mood easily
affects my mood.

Just thinking about you not being okay
brings tears to my eyes
and a horrible feeling in my stomach.

True love is like lightening.
You may see it often,
but its rare to catch.

When you do catch it,
it strikes your heart.
It leaves you in shock
and feeling dead in the center of your soul.

You go back and forth
like a teeter totter
one day you kiss me
the next day you fist bump me

On those days
when I think you like me
I'm high above
exempt from gravity
but then you treat me
like a friend
I guess I'll always
have one foot in reality

trapped again
in the mystery of
unrequited love

usually it ends
but this one will be life long

I will constantly be
torn between moving on
and clinging to you even harder

There is something about you
that makes me want to stay
but its not a mutual feeling
I'm just another friend
who got too close
and who looks good naked.

You make me have my own opinions
You make me be strong
You treat me better
than any ex-lover
which is why it kills me
when you say friends forever?

You make me so sad
You make me so happy
You make me so mad
No one has made me feel all of these things
at the same time,
before breaking my heart.

I built my walls up
so high above the ground.
I was determined to keep you out.
But there was another divine plan at work.
I slowly took down my barriers
and you broke in.

Whether it was intentional
or with purpose
it worked.
I just wish we were on the same page

You could've fooled me
when you asked me to be your girlfriend
then took it back the next day.
You could've fooled me
when you told me we'd never drift
because now i feel distant.
You could've fooled me
when you said it meant something
when we had ***.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't throw yourself
at your ex.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't beg college girls
to have ***.

I thought there was something between us
but lately it seems a lot like less.

My mom keeps asking if
he and I have had a "falling out".
I keep saying no,
but somehow she always knows what's going on.
I was getting defensive,
and she asked if he tried to get fresh with me.
I said no,
thinking "he already tried that, and succeeded"

I never really thought "getting fresh" was a problem.
Today's society revolves around that.
Girls are taught that if a guy wants to touch your **** or *****,
you should let him,
but only after you've made him beg for a bit.

It's sad, really.
My mom asked me this
because she thought I had enough decency
not to "get fresh" with him.
But little does she know,
this society shaped me into someone I don't like
because she never tried to teach me how to be respectable.
Don't get me wrong,
my mother is a great mom who wants the best for me
and she is respected by my father.
You would think that I would
use their relationship as an example
but I guess I didn't.
I've done disreputable, immoral
things with him.
And I never thought twice about it.
I knew the first time I did those things,
that it wasn't right,
but I couldn't stop.
And then when I did them with him,
outside of a commitment,
I knew it was wrong
but I didn't care.
I was so numb
and used to it
that I didn't care enough about myself
to stop.

So,
Sorry mom.
I am not a little angel
and I am not your little girl.
The devil has been in control of me
and I liked it.
But I know better,
so Im changing who I am.
Im going to be more respectful to my body.
I am not going to let others sweet talk me into their beds,
or mine for that matter.

Safe
there is nowhere I feel more safe than
in your arms.
you value me
you cherish me

you support me
you respect me

you love me
you complete me

Standing there
arms high
and heart abandoned.
Completely surrendering your soul.
Crying out for the Lord.
In awe of all He's done.
Tears in your eyes.
Chills down your spine.
Singing out to the One who deserves it.

Worshiping the one true King
with all your heart.

I want you to miss me
I want you to want me
I want you to stay
and I want you to love me
All this time
Ive been waiting and waiting
for what?
for you to kiss me like you miss me as much as i miss you
these last five months have been unbearable
i can't go anywhere without thinking of you
you were emotionally detached when i knew you
you seem to have more emotions now than ever
i don't know if that a signal
but if it is, i'm getting it loud and clear
Im too shy to tell you how i feel
so please tell me you miss me
ill tell you i miss you too
just tell me whats wrong
i promise ill be there for you
Please just come back to me
you've been gone for so long
i love you differently now
i think i can love you better than ever

You put everthing else before me,
you dont text me back for days at a time,
you only talk to me when you are having a bad day,
but when I need to talk you think my problems are insignificant.
You call me names and say things to me
that make me feel like I am a ****,
you say you aren't using me because
there is a sentimental value when we touch,
but I can't help feeling worthless when we're done.

I told you last night
that I'm not letting this happen any more
and that if you want me in your life
you're going to have to prove it.

and you said "alrighty then".

when you touched me
even the slightest trace of your hand on my arm
something was happening deep in my core
your simple embrace illuminated my heart
i had the tingling sensation of love
i would give anything to feel your heart on mine
i crave your touch
i became addicted to the feeling you gave me
only then did i feel connected to you

He made me feel pretty
with no makeup on
at the grocery store.

ya know
when you first went back to her after you told me I wasn't "your type",
I questioned everything.
I questioned our love.
I couldn't possibly comprehend how it was possible for you to actually love me and then get over me so quickly.
So I knew it must have been a lie, you must have used me.
You said to me one time "You can't tell if you're being used or not?"
I honestly could not tell.
Used was all I have ever known and even that seemed to be real.
You told me many times that you weren't using me and I eventually believed you.
But then you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you too.
we agreed being together wasn't in our best interest so we decided to be friends.
You went back to your ex and it killed me so badly.
The only possible explanation was that you used me.
This conflicted me for months.
Then one night we were on the phone and I started crying.
I never told you why but somehow you knew
you always know.
You reassured me that it was real, that you meant everything.
And from that moment on, I felt a peace in my heart.
Knowing that it was real but is over is better than not knowing if the person you loved is heartless.

As I stare at this empty page,
I think of all the things that could make a change.
Words, that could make someone feel
all the things in the world that are cruel.
I don't understand how God could let this happen,
Or what goes on in those people's heads.
Why would anyone, ANYONE, want to kidnap,
steal, ****, or **** an innocent person.
I recently experienced one of these four things,
not to its fullest, but I got a taste of the mind behind the sinner.
These people make me sick.
I want to make a change,
but I don't know how.
I hope for a better world,
where it is safe for children
and women
to go somewhere by themselves
and not worry about the bad choices others could make.
I hope for a changed world.

So I wrote you a poem.

Which means I trust(ed) you.
I gave it to you for Christmas
at your little Christmas party
thinking you would read it later.
When you begged like a child,
i let you open part of your present,
but then you got into the rest
after I told you not to read it.
you  read  it  out  loud
in front of all our friends.
I felt my cheeks flush
and vision narrow,
thinking "I have to get away".
I go to the kitchen and pretend
i'm okay.

But I wasn't okay.

I gave you a piece of me,
no,
I trusted you with a piece of me.
and you gave it all away.
You showed the world my most sacred part of me,
without thinking if I wanted everyone to hear.

Thank you, "best friend", for showing me
that I made a mistake trusting you.

i fall in love with people
in moments of innocence

last night
after dinner with my parents
in the car ride back home
i realized i love you

you were playing with my hair
because you knew my head hurt
simple things like this
mean a lot to me

then i started running my fingers through your hair
and i just looked at you
while doing that
and i thought to myself
"i love you"

it was something so innocent
like this
that made me want to take care of you

then on your own
you sat up and said it was my turn again

you could've been selfish
but instead you wanted to make me happy

you're my best friend
and i've fallen in love with you

waiting for you to ring my doorbell
with flowers in hand and a scared look on your face
asking me to wait for you.
I would get close to your face and whisper "I promise"
followed by a deep kiss showing you how much I love you

I may not be
as loud as others.
I may not be
as opinionated as others.
I may not be
the best at giving advice.
I may not be
happy all the time.
I may not be
as easy to be around as others.
I may not be
the one who starts the conversation.
I may not be
easy to handle.
I may not be
okay with what you want me to do.
I may not be
the prettiest girl around.
I may not be
the smartest girl around.
I may not be
the most confident girl around.
but
I am
smart.
I am
beautiful.
I am
unique.
I am
valued.
I am
loved.
I am
as important as everyone else.
I am
worthy of the best.

Just because I am shy doesn't mean anything.
I still have important things to say.
Speaking doesn't come easily to everyone.
I am capable of thought.
I am capable of opinions.
And I am capable of being mad.
No I don't want to repeat after you.
I will speak when, and if, I want to speak.
Just because I am not the loudest at the party, doesn't mean I am not human.
I have a voice. I have feelings. I am normal. I am loved.

If you have ever felt belittled for being shy, just say "ƒuçk ¥øu!" and walk away.
No one has the right to make you feel that way.
You are not less than them.
You are a beautiful, talented, important human being and you have an unique personality which people appreciate and value.
So don't ever think you are worthless.
And know that you are not alone.

Can *** really ruin a friendship by making you not like who the other person is?

If only you knew what i think of you
In the middle of the night when i should be sleeping
In the middle of the day when i see you reading
I don't know if this is love
But i love the way you move
Reading a book, writing a thought, even listening in class
Your idiosyncrasy grabs my heart
If only you knew what I thought of you
when you kissed my lips, I thought it would last
when you held my hand, I was enchanted at last
All i was, was in love with being loved
If only you knew
How i think of you now that you're gone
If only you knew
What i think when i see you with someone new
Ive fallen in love with the way you move
the way you touch
the way you feel
the way  you think
I don't want anyone to fall in love with these things
Because they won't appreciate them the way i do.

you will never know the real me
never figure out what makes me tick
never know what i dream of when i stare out the window
you will never know
i gave you a chance but you are too emotionally detached to want to know
you will never know what i'm thinking
never know why i love the sunrise from an airplane
this goes both ways
i will never know your motives
i will never know what you saw in me
i will never know why you put all these walls up
i will never know why you think fire is so beautiful
i will never know why you aren't close to your family
i will never know why you are so shallow
i guess its better to not know than to get hurt trying

Love isn't possible with you
Love isn't when you won't hug me in front of your friends
Love isn't when you stop doing what it took to get me
Love isn't when you look at other girls
Love isn't when you criticize how i stand
Love isn't when you pressure me after i say no
This just isn't love
Love is when I text you sweet messages
Love is when I can just look at you from afar and feel a zoo in my stomach
Love is when I can still miss you after you break my heart
Love is when I hope you are doing okay
Love is when I just want you to be happy again
Love is wanting your smile back
But also, love is wanting my smile back too
This is love.

It's been five months
It comes back in flashes
Talking with friends, reading a book, writing a paper
I can't get away from my memories
I can't stop thinking about you
You flood my mind day in and day out
I cry because Im ashamed
I let myself down
I said I wouldn't fall for you
I said I wouldn't get hurt
You seemed so interested
I was so naiive
I thought you would be the one to end up heartbroken
I was wrong
You broke my heart without looking back
I know you don't think it hurt me because I didn't cry in front of you
But it did
It hurt so bad
What hurts more is that i am still here,
completely infatuated with you months later
and you have already moved on
You're into another girl
I miss you so bad that ive convinced myself that im in love with you
I fantasize about you kissing me in the rain haphazardly
I can only dream about that happening
You can't even look at me let alone muster up the courage to kiss me
I don't know how to get over you and move on
I just wish forgetting you was as easy as you forgot about me