Does anyone actually know what love is?
or what the difference between loving someone
and being in love with them?

I love hearing you laugh hard, it makes me happy
I love watching you drive, it makes me feel protected
I love driving with you, it makes me feel infinite
I love when you tickle me, it makes me think you like my smile
I love when you wake me up with a call, its the only thing that gets me up
I love when you let me cry on you, I can't do that with anyone else
I love you, and I'm in love with you.

No matter how prepared I was,
my heart still shattered when you said those words.

Write because...

your thoughts
                                are more precious
                                than the finest golds.
your imagination
                                is more vivid than
                                your most treasured
                                childhood memory.
your creativity
                                is more boundless
                                than the ends of
                                the earth.
your opinions
                                are more valued
                                than you may think.
your feelings
                                are more valid
                                than you've been told.

And most importantly write because...
                        W  o  r  d  s     a  r  e    p  o  w  e  r  f  u  l.

*"Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts." -Patrick Rothfuss

It's amazing how
every time you mess up,
I always end up saying sorry.

I hear your voice louder than ever
in the silence.

I may not be
as loud as others.
I may not be
as opinionated as others.
I may not be
the best at giving advice.
I may not be
happy all the time.
I may not be
as easy to be around as others.
I may not be
the one who starts the conversation.
I may not be
easy to handle.
I may not be
okay with what you want me to do.
I may not be
the prettiest girl around.
I may not be
the smartest girl around.
I may not be
the most confident girl around.
but
I am
smart.
I am
beautiful.
I am
unique.
I am
valued.
I am
loved.
I am
as important as everyone else.
I am
worthy of the best.

Just because I am shy doesn't mean anything.
I still have important things to say.
Speaking doesn't come easily to everyone.
I am capable of thought.
I am capable of opinions.
And I am capable of being mad.
No I don't want to repeat after you.
I will speak when, and if, I want to speak.
Just because I am not the loudest at the party, doesn't mean I am not human.
I have a voice. I have feelings. I am normal. I am loved.

If you have ever felt belittled for being shy, just say "ƒuçk ¥øu!" and walk away.
No one has the right to make you feel that way.
You are not less than them.
You are a beautiful, talented, important human being and you have an unique personality which people appreciate and value.
So don't ever think you are worthless.
And know that you are not alone.

As I stare at this empty page,
I think of all the things that could make a change.
Words, that could make someone feel
all the things in the world that are cruel.
I don't understand how God could let this happen,
Or what goes on in those people's heads.
Why would anyone, ANYONE, want to kidnap,
steal, ****, or **** an innocent person.
I recently experienced one of these four things,
not to its fullest, but I got a taste of the mind behind the sinner.
These people make me sick.
I want to make a change,
but I don't know how.
I hope for a better world,
where it is safe for children
and women
to go somewhere by themselves
and not worry about the bad choices others could make.
I hope for a changed world.

I have a feeling
deep inside me
that keeps growing
every time I see you.

It starts in my stomach
now it's in my heart
the feeling changed
and it's ripping me apart
slowly
you broke my heart
but I should've known
I saw it coming
the day I met you.

You led me on
just to leave me hanging
trying to get by
day by day
I can't go much longer
If  I have to see you with her
it tears me apart
that you don't care anymore
I thought you were the one
that we'd be happy
but I was wrong
I was never an option.

You do things with her
that I wish you did with me
but I guess I wasn't special enough,
I have to earn love.

That's not normal.
Im done with this.
I don't need you,
I need a real man.
Who shows me off to his friends,
who will hold man hand even if it's just for a few minutes,
who will hug me for hours,
who will kiss me in the rain,
who will comfort me when I'm down,
but most importantly,
who will love me when there is nothing left to love.

I need a Romeo
to die for this Juliet,
I need someone willing
to catch me if I fall for him.
Someone sweet
Someone kind
Someone who won't lie to me.
All I ever wanted was a guy
to make me happy.
So many impostures,
break, break, breaking my heart.
I think I've cried so much
that I could cry you a river.

Even though you broke my heart
I still want to hold you
wishing every day that you would realize
that she's wrong for you.
please come back to  me
I wonder what we could be

I miss you and I know you miss me too
baby please come back to me
she is getting in our way.

you walked into my life
as just another guy
made an effort, hoping
I would notice, guess what,
I did, it worked, you're in.

we talked for a while
hit it off, now we're
working on us.

these days are the good ones,
when a simple wave can make our days.
no fights, its like we're high,
not feeling pain, can't stop smiling.

now everything is tumbling down,
don't know what's going on.
wondering where we went wrong.
is it because I didn't want to "hang"?
well I had a reason for that,
news gets around quick, especially
when you tell your cousin, my best friend,
you weren't gonna talk to me this summer,
what's that about?!

I got furious you see,
you talk to me like everything is like normal,
I tried but it wasn't the same.

we fell out of love,
or whatever we had.
then we meet again,
go swimming,
have fun,
you took my heart prisoner,
and I fell in love all over again,
but it's different this time,
*I can't love you , you love another.

Words can't describe the burning passion inside
yearning to come alive
feel like a bag full of sh¡t on some man's porch
left there to be slipped into the trash.

I can't take this anymore,
ready to pull the line, can I call a friend
to help me finish the rhyme?
please sir, I need another life-line
running out of time.

I see it
can't reach it
but almost there
fall out of my chair
get up, gotta keep goin
trip over a book
get even closer
can't give up now
just about there
I got it, i gots
my chapstick.

I love you because**...
There is more than one layer to you.
You have feelings.
You tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
You try to make me stronger.
You treat me like I am better than I really am.
You reassured me when I was in doubt.
You are nerdy.
You have problems.
You take care of me.
I want to take care of you too.
You make time for me.
You want to spend time with me.
You believe there is more to me than my shyness may mislead.
You trust me.
You call me in the middle of the night to tell me about your nightmares.
You're not sappy all the time.
You are my best friend.
and this is why I love you.

My mom keeps asking if
he and I have had a "falling out".
I keep saying no,
but somehow she always knows what's going on.
I was getting defensive,
and she asked if he tried to get fresh with me.
I said no,
thinking "he already tried that, and succeeded"

I never really thought "getting fresh" was a problem.
Today's society revolves around that.
Girls are taught that if a guy wants to touch your **** or *****,
you should let him,
but only after you've made him beg for a bit.

It's sad, really.
My mom asked me this
because she thought I had enough decency
not to "get fresh" with him.
But little does she know,
this society shaped me into someone I don't like
because she never tried to teach me how to be respectable.
Don't get me wrong,
my mother is a great mom who wants the best for me
and she is respected by my father.
You would think that I would
use their relationship as an example
but I guess I didn't.
I've done disreputable, immoral
things with him.
And I never thought twice about it.
I knew the first time I did those things,
that it wasn't right,
but I couldn't stop.
And then when I did them with him,
outside of a commitment,
I knew it was wrong
but I didn't care.
I was so numb
and used to it
that I didn't care enough about myself
to stop.

So,
Sorry mom.
I am not a little angel
and I am not your little girl.
The devil has been in control of me
and I liked it.
But I know better,
so Im changing who I am.
Im going to be more respectful to my body.
I am not going to let others sweet talk me into their beds,
or mine for that matter.

So many things going on in one house.
On one side,
here I am crying over
an invisible broken heart.
On the other side,
there is my sister happily in love,
facetiming with her soon to be fiance.
Then on different floors,
there is my parents.
Once madly in love,
now they don't even sleep in the same bed.
My dad is downstairs because he snores.
My mom is upstairs with earplugs in.
Its crazy how many stories are under one roof.

Im tired of crying in my bed in the middle of the night
I want to find love, and I want everything to be alright.

Homeschooled boy
Tall, blonde
with acne,
holding a lunch pale.
He gives you that
mesmerizing,
innocent,
sweet smile
as you pass in the hallway.
He makes you blush.
He makes you feel special.
never fall for someone like this
They aren't what they seem.

They aren't innocent,
AT ALL.
All they want from a sweet,
Christian girl
is ***.
All he wanted was to tell his friends
what he did with me.
He didn't care about me.
He just cared about his image.

He was the new, homeschooled kid
and he wanted to fit in.
Oh but he fit in just fine.
He smoked ****.

Little did I know,
because he lied to me
about everything.

In the beginning,
he told me he was an honest person.
Of course I believed him
because I want to see the good in people.
He also asked if I was honest,
I said yes because that was the truth.

One month later,
I found out the truth.
At first I didn't want to believe it,
but he played me.

He lied to me
about who he was,
what he did,
and who he told about us.

This absolutely crushed me.
He was my first boyfriend.
He was just an innocent,
lunch pale-carrying,
boy, right?
all wrong.

I wish I saw the red flags
and never committed to a relationship.
He broke me just as fast as he got me.
and i will never trust again.

do you know what it feels like
to be sweet talked then back stabbed?

do you know what it feels like
for everyone to know what you've done?

do you know what it feels like
when he leaves after you let him see another layer of you?

do you know what it feels like
to be used when you thought he care about you?

do you know what it feels like
for him to never speak to you again after you finally let him in?

do you know what it feels like
when your first boyfriend does these things?

do you know what it feels like
when you call me those names even when your'e kidding?

do you know what it feels like
when you can't trust anyone after what has happened to you?

do you know what it feels like
to live with all the regret because he made you do those things?

do you know what it feels like
to want to know why no one can love you?

do you know what it feels like**
because I do.

Hand between my legs,
Lips against my neck.
You might think this is the best feeling,
but it will fade.
You'll go too far or
they'll get bored.
Feelings will be hurt and
hearts will be broken
because good things always come to an end.
A promise is the highest form of commitment
yet people throw them around like a paper airplane.
You don't mean anything to them
and it doesn't matter if you "love" them.
You are young,
they don't want to be tied down for life,
they just want to feel good now.
But what i think is
that if you love someone,
then you can feel good with them forever.
So don't cry over someone
who got bored,
doesn't like having *** with you,
or found someone "better".
You are awesome
and you will find someone who thinks so too.
I *promise.

Yes, I have trust issues.
No, Im not ashamed to say it.
Of course I have trust issues!
What did you expect?
My last boyfriend lied
about everything
from truly liking me
to smoking ****.
so don't blame me for being skeptical
when you say you love me.
I can't help but doubt you.

Im terrified of commitment
yet that is the only thing i want.

I think I love you,
but I want you to be happy
so I'm letting you go.

Can *** really ruin a friendship by making you not like who the other person is?

I am not a ******* parrot,
you ******* *******.
Dont tell me to repeat after you
don't hush the room so everyone can hear me
dont ******* tell me i need a beer so ill speak more.

you are the biggest ******* i have ever met.

Not everyone is outgiong
not everyone feels comfortable in a large group of  people
not everyone is able to yell over your drunk ***

im not sorry i can't speak very loudly
im not sorry im shy
im not sorry i am who i am
but i am sorry that you can't have fun without getting drunk
i am sorry that you can't treat your wife with respect
i am sorry your kids had to put up with you as a father
i am sorry i met you.

You go back and forth
like a teeter totter
one day you kiss me
the next day you fist bump me

On those days
when I think you like me
I'm high above
exempt from gravity
but then you treat me
like a friend
I guess I'll always
have one foot in reality

trapped again
in the mystery of
unrequited love

usually it ends
but this one will be life long

I will constantly be
torn between moving on
and clinging to you even harder

There is something about you
that makes me want to stay
but its not a mutual feeling
I'm just another friend
who got too close
and who looks good naked.

You make me have my own opinions
You make me be strong
You treat me better
than any ex-lover
which is why it kills me
when you say friends forever?

You make me so sad
You make me so happy
You make me so mad
No one has made me feel all of these things
at the same time,
before breaking my heart.

I built my walls up
so high above the ground.
I was determined to keep you out.
But there was another divine plan at work.
I slowly took down my barriers
and you broke in.

Whether it was intentional
or with purpose
it worked.
I just wish we were on the same page

You could've fooled me
when you asked me to be your girlfriend
then took it back the next day.
You could've fooled me
when you told me we'd never drift
because now i feel distant.
You could've fooled me
when you said it meant something
when we had ***.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't throw yourself
at your ex.
You could've fooled me
when you didn't beg college girls
to have ***.

I thought there was something between us
but lately it seems a lot like less.

it has taken 8 months for me to fall in love with you
but it will take a lifetime to admit it.

You don't have to be in a relationship to love someone,
and you don't have to love someone to be in a relationship.
#thesadtruth

i fall in love with people
in moments of innocence

last night
after dinner with my parents
in the car ride back home
i realized i love you

you were playing with my hair
because you knew my head hurt
simple things like this
mean a lot to me

then i started running my fingers through your hair
and i just looked at you
while doing that
and i thought to myself
"i love you"

it was something so innocent
like this
that made me want to take care of you

then on your own
you sat up and said it was my turn again

you could've been selfish
but instead you wanted to make me happy

you're my best friend
and i've fallen in love with you

what do you do
if you're in love with someone
who is all wrong for you?

woke up wanting you.

sometimes
you have to do things
you don't want to do
because those things are necessary.

tonight im going to tell him
that we need to honestly act like
just friends.

We need to do this
so i don't get hurt in the end.
when we are at different colleges
and find other people.

i have to get over you
before that
because being away from you
will only cause me
to create you into someone
you are not.

this will be hard for me because
every fiber of my being
wants to kiss you.

i just pray
that i can get the words out tonight
and that its the right thing to do.

thank you
for teaching me
not to follow my heart.

that is the best thing
you could've told me.

somehow you knew
that i tend to go with
what my heart is telling me.

but what i've come to realize is
that hearts are reckless.

hearts can't think about the future,
they want what they want now.

hearts don't know what'll happen in the end,
but they sure feel it when they are breaking.

i think
after every breaking,
while they heal,
they get harder.

they callous as a reminder
to never make the same mistake
and end up with regrets
again.

this is why we shouldn't follow our hearts,
no matter how appealing it may seem.
we must think smart to not get hurt.

so thank you
for teaching me
not to follow my heart.

wrong person,
right time.

right person,
wrong time.

either way,
it hurts in the end.

friends for four years
separating for college
going to different states
and losing them forever.

it ***** when one of your best friends
starts to get annoyed by your presence
we used to hang out all the time
and be happy together.

now you think i am weird
when all i am doing is having fun
with one of our other best friends.

nothing ***** more than losing a friend
because "thats the way life is".

loving someone
who is incapable of love
is self destructive.

It says a lot about you
If you can pretend to be a nice guy
And use such a sweet girl who has the best intentions
And If you can corrupt an innocent girl and not feel guilty.

You're an *******, I hope you know that.

Maybe you think it is normal to get a girl and use her for your own ****** pleasures, and not think twice about what she feels.

Most of your **** is shoved into your personality.

My worst fear is being used and you did just that without thinking twice.
I can honestly say I hate you.

I hope you learn how to treat a woman in the future and that your relationships work out well.
Because you don't want to know what it feels like to be lied to and used, you ******* idiot.

Is it okay to put up with someone being a **** to you
If you know they are broken?

And I can't figure out
If I keep having flashbacks from that day
Because I enjoyed it
Or because it was the biggest mistake of my life.

people are like houses.
they may look perfect on the outside
but they might be messed up on the inside.

and you'll never know
unless they open up the door
and you step inside.

Every time someone asks me if we are together
A huge smile spreads across my face
and I cant help it.

No wonder no one believes me
when i say we aren't.

I can tell something is wrong
but you won't tell me.

I can tell because
your mood easily
affects my mood.

Just thinking about you not being okay
brings tears to my eyes
and a horrible feeling in my stomach.

Softly outlining my hand with your gentle fingertips
Released a thousand butterflies in my stomach.

True love is like lightening.
You may see it often,
but its rare to catch.

When you do catch it,
it strikes your heart.
It leaves you in shock
and feeling dead in the center of your soul.

"You will fall in love with the sweet guy, fall into bed with bad boy and try to figure out why you do not like the nice guy every time."

I hope if you ever tell me you love me
that I can believe it
and that you honestly mean it.

because i already know
this will be the biggest heartbreak yet.

Love #1
He liked me, i liked him.
This lasted for a while.
Summer came, he left.
He got a girlfriend, and forgot about me.

The next school year,
We made eye contact in the hall all the time
He texted me and apologized
I forgave him
and when he and his girlfriend were over
He came running back to me
I welcomed him with open arms.
This only lasted part of the summer.
Things were getting tense
and we stopped contacting each other.

A year later
When i was "talking" to someone new
He apologized again
I think he was jealous, to be honest.

We never spoke again.


Love #2
I thought he was cute
I only fantasized about him liking me
Then it came true
He pursued me, and i liked it.
We went on a date before our first date

He held my hand that day
and forced his lips upon mine.
Not how i imagined my first kiss.

We went on dates
but stayed in the car most of the time
I thought i could control things
and not go too far.
I tried to stop multiple times
yet somehow he just kept enticing me.
After he got what he wanted (not what you are thinking)
He dumped me.
He said we could still be friends
but i mean, that was unrealistic.

We never spoke again.


Love #3
He makes me happy
We are best friends
He held my hand at the beach
and kissed me on the cheek.
That was only for one day.

We continued to be best friends
We went out by ourselves and
he made no indication that we were more than friends.
Weeks went by.

Then after our AP test we went to eat together.
We also went on an adventure.
That was the best day of my life.
We went up a mountain and went on a little hike.
It was hailing and we were sitting close under a towel for protection.

That would have been the perfect time to kiss me.
But he didnt.
And i respect that.

He takes things slow
unlike Love #2.
patience means you're in it for the long run.
Things are going well
and I think we could actually have a good future together.
Im excited for it, love.