Sweet darling,

I've always known
but lately I've been feeling it more
I have never been more sure of it
than I am at this moment

I want to be in your intense love
for the rest of my life
I want to feel your passion
with every touch
You are the love of my life
and the one that I want

Making my heart feel like its summer
when the rain is pouring down
is an understatement
My heart is on fire
in this cold cold winter
and the reason is clear

its you
its always been you

You are so clearly
meant for me

So be mine
for the rest of our lives
be mine
and we will light up this world

I am here for you
and you are here for me

we will come home to such a warm house
filled with our undying love and passion

I feel as though my life is not moving
as i indulge in these meaningless tasks

it is after these life pushing efforts
that i feel my future getting brighter

and not staying dull.

I see you and
my heart drops
my mind stops
my soul jumps
our souls bump.

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I really love you a lot.

You kiss me in such a way
that i can tell that your souls has been searching for mine
for centuries.

You kiss me in such a way
that I feel every ounce of passion
in each little embrace.

You kiss me in such a way
that pulling away from your lips
makes my heart ache for more.

my eyes are tired
my hair a mess
and yet each morning
i wake excited for my life with you.

Safe
there is nowhere I feel more safe than
in your arms.
you value me
you cherish me

you support me
you respect me

you love me
you complete me

"Love is all you need"

What do you do when the love dries up?
What do you do when the love is all gone?
What now?

"The world is a rotten place,
if you find even a sliver of happiness,
you gotta hold on to it"

I tried,
but what happens when your sliver of happiness
lets go?

Just like that, I never saw you again.

Just like that, I lost my best friend.

Just like that, you cut off all contact.

Just like that, I was nothing to you.

Just like that, you didn't need me anymore.

Just like that, our love disappeared.

Just like that, I never got to kiss you again.

Just like that, I never got to tell you I loved you again.

Just like that, you decided you could live without me.

Just like that, our present became the past.

And just like that, I was left broken while you were fine.

He made me feel pretty
with no makeup on
at the grocery store.

when was the exact moment when you decided you'd let me down again?
was it when i asked you to sleep over and you figured you'd lead me on?
was it yesterday when you decided not to go home?
or was it today when you got a better offer to hang out with strangers?
I keep falling for your stupid games
i ask you if you ever wanted to and you say you did
but you never do
and i should put the pieces together
because actions speak louder than words.
this doesn't affect you
it only affects me
because every time i get my hopes up
I have to keep one foot in reality
because your unpredictability is predictable
and my heart break a little bit every time you leave me hanging.

it hurts because
you don't care anymore

it hurts because
when i get mad
you don't try to fix it

it hurts because
when i walk away
you dont run after me anymore

and it hurts because
you don't care anymore
and i care even more than before.

remember when you said you adored me?
what happened to us?
I miss who we were back then.

I feel like I'm going crazy.
I feel extremely lonely
My mood goes from up to down
I'm pushing the one person I care about most away
I'm looking for happiness in the wrong people
I cry easily
I can't focus on my homework
I want to be alone but being alone hurts
I can't stop being the person I used to be
And I feel like I'm going crazy.

You put everthing else before me,
you dont text me back for days at a time,
you only talk to me when you are having a bad day,
but when I need to talk you think my problems are insignificant.
You call me names and say things to me
that make me feel like I am a ****,
you say you aren't using me because
there is a sentimental value when we touch,
but I can't help feeling worthless when we're done.

I told you last night
that I'm not letting this happen any more
and that if you want me in your life
you're going to have to prove it.

and you said "alrighty then".

You touched my heart
and managed to rip it out
like it was yours to take.
If you asked,
I would've given it to you
without a second thought.
But your self righteous attitude
assumed you could take it and
not give anything back.
So I was left here sitting on the floor
of our abandoned apartment
with an empty chest and a full mind.
All I could think was how stupid of me
to think you could actually love me too.

Maybe I leave with them because I can’t come home to you.

I tried so hard to resist the taste of your lips again.
Saying no to the chance to feel happiness for a few fleeting seconds
is a very difficult thing.
I felt a strong pull in my chest to connect to you
and I tried to pull back
but the heart wants what it wants.
I gave in.
The next day you were all that I could think of
but I knew you weren't still thinking of me
so I snapped out of it.
and I went on my first date with him.
And I kissed him that night,
but it wasn't the same because I wasn't madly in love with him,
like I am with you.

I don't know how to unlove you.

You fell asleep thinking of me
and woke up thinking of her.

sleeping against the wall almost felt like you, but not quite.

You are like a breath of fresh air.
Being away from you feels like I cant breathe,
and then when i see you, when i finally hold you again,
I feel my lungs start to inflate again.
But when I am with you, and i remember,
I  start to suffocate.
It's like there is a plastic bag over my head
and toxic fumes are filling my lungs
and I keep gasping for air
but I start to turn blue
because loving you hurts.

I feel empty without your love.
you were the only thing I wanted and the only thing I wanted to love.
but since youve been gone, I want nothing more than to belong.
I was more when I was with you, but now I am empty all day long.

Sitting here in your arms
on this warm beach
as the sun comes up for all to see,
I feel at home,
safe and happy.
It's hard to explain how I feel,
but somehow when your arms are wrapped around me,
i feel as if everything will be okay.
It's really a beautiful feeling
and I'm lucky to get to feel it in this lifetime,
I'm lucky I get to feel it with you.
I love you.

Fill in the blank:  ____ scares me.

Pushing you away
because everything I've ever wanted
is now becoming a reality.

waiting for you to ring my doorbell
with flowers in hand and a scared look on your face
asking me to wait for you.
I would get close to your face and whisper "I promise"
followed by a deep kiss showing you how much I love you

ya know
when you first went back to her after you told me I wasn't "your type",
I questioned everything.
I questioned our love.
I couldn't possibly comprehend how it was possible for you to actually love me and then get over me so quickly.
So I knew it must have been a lie, you must have used me.
You said to me one time "You can't tell if you're being used or not?"
I honestly could not tell.
Used was all I have ever known and even that seemed to be real.
You told me many times that you weren't using me and I eventually believed you.
But then you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you too.
we agreed being together wasn't in our best interest so we decided to be friends.
You went back to your ex and it killed me so badly.
The only possible explanation was that you used me.
This conflicted me for months.
Then one night we were on the phone and I started crying.
I never told you why but somehow you knew
you always know.
You reassured me that it was real, that you meant everything.
And from that moment on, I felt a peace in my heart.
Knowing that it was real but is over is better than not knowing if the person you loved is heartless.

its hard loving you from a distance

When it is about to end,
you always think back to the beginning.

I think if i told you that I'm still in love with you
and that my love has grown an immense amount
that it would ruin our friendship.
And something is better than nothing, i guess,
so ill keep it in.

I have a fear of commitment,
but right now,
I would commit to you in a heartbeat.

I am so in love with you
and I didn't know this was possible.
They say its easy to love someone when they are happy
and hard to love them when they are sad.
I think whoever said that wasn't really in love because
Loving you when you're happy is easy,
but my love for you grows when you're sad.

You are the groggy mornings after you kept me up because you needed me to get through the night.
You are the worry lines forming on my face from the constant anxiety that you might hurt yourself.
You are the deep ache in my heart because I know you will never love me like you loved her.
You are the tears on my pillow case because you are so beyond amazing and I want to be yours but can't.
You are the struggle I face because there is so much good in you but you insist on only seeing the bad.
You are the breath that leaves my lungs every time I imagine my life without you.
You are the pride in my heart because I see that all you want to do is help people.
You are the smile on my face because you make me so happy just seeing you.
You are the best friend in my introverted life.
And you are the the greatest love I will ever experience.

I feel so invisible to you.
You tell me what kind of woman you are looking for
and all i can think is "I am all those things"
but you will never see me like that
and it kills me
to know that I love you beyond measure
and you love her even further.

Cut my heart strings free from yours.
I can't keep being dragged around by you
while you are reattaching to someone new.

Im here thinking about you
while you are thinking about her,
and she is thinking about him.
Me and you are in the same boat,
both with bullet wounds in our hearts
from the one's we've loved
who don't want to love us back.

Don't tell me that you love me
when I am finally moving on,
Don't tell me you don't want me
after my heart sang your song.
Don't tell me about her
because you told me you moved on.

one year.
it took one year for you to realize that you don't want me.
I'm not sure if you ever did.
we were best friends first, lovers second.
I was there for you and you were there for me.
I tried to help you, but I'm not good with words, you see,
but i tried so so hard--- and that has to count for something, right?
It hurt so bad when you said i couldn't understand, because I did,
I understood you so well.
I couldn't emotionally support you how you wanted
and I think in the end, that was what broke us
Along with other things.
We had so much fun together,
I felt alive with you.
You took me places I've never heard about, let alone ever been to.
You broadened my horizons,
You valued me and believed there was something special about me.
But that's all someone wants, right? to be wanted?
For most of the time I felt wanted by you.
In the beginning, I was so sure we would work.
I felt it in the way you looked at me
and I wanted you so badly.
Summer was great and then we had a scare.
You were more scared than me
and I think that was because I knew I loved you
and you knew you didn't.
I couldn't tell you I did because I was so scared of losing you.
So I detached myself, for my own protection
and we drifted.
I thought we had ended and you would only think of me as a best friend,
but then I told you I was going on a date.
You couldn't let me be happy for one second,
you couldn't let me out of your selfish grip.
The very next day you told me you loved me
and I was still so scared.
So scared of being vulnerable, so scared of what would come next.
But I told you I loved you too, but that didn't seem to be enough.
You treated me like dirt and I think I figured out why you are verbally abusive.
It's because your dad was like that with you.
You never learned how to properly love someone,
and I desperately hope you figure it out soon.
We reconnected for two weeks,
and me being a hopeless romantic that won't let my guard down so easily,
I knew it wouldn't work, despite all hopes.
After that reconnection, I felt empty.
I tried to come up with an explanation why and I couldn't figure it out.
Although we did love each other, we weren't "in love".
All I wanted was to be wanted.
And only by you.
But we decided to remain friends.
Then I changed my mind.
You could never commit to me, I figured that out after that one time you asked me to be your girlfriend and then took it back the next day.
After almost a year,
you finally figured out what you wanted.
Not me.
"I'm not your type"
I will never understand how you can love someone who isn't your "type"
but I will always wonder what's so wrong with me that you couldn't keep loving me.
And I will always wonder what's so wrong with me that I could love someone who I knew could never treat me the way I deserve.
I will always love you, and I will always be there for you.
But I will also never be able to be myself with you again.
I showed you my most vulnerable parts and you denied me
and I am so ashamed I let myself get that close without a commitment.
My mom recently said, "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"
and I took that to heart.
I will find someone better, I know I will.
and they will want me for me,
not for my body, nor my money, nor because they think they can take advantage of the shy girl with her heart on her sleeve.

I don't want to go the rest of my life wondering what would've happened if I was brave enough to love you.
What if by following my head, I've just shut you out of my heart because I'm afraid?
What if love is enough?
How will I know if I never try?
What if I give you my heart and you make me happy?
Even if it's just for a little while, I think it might be worth it.
You make my heart ache in a good way and that has to mean something, right?
What if we tried instead of giving up because "it's for the best"?
What would happen if we followed our hearts this time?

Recently i was starting to move on
Recently he told he loves me
Recently i've told him i love him too
Recently i had *** for the second time
Recently i've felt empty
Recently i told my best friend i'm not a ******
Recently i figured out the difference between love and being in love
Recently i realized im not in love with him
Recently i've started to follow my head, not my heart
Recently i've felt alone
Recently i've had to make a decision
Recently i've decided not to be in a relationship with him
Recently i've realized that love is not enough
Recently i've felt numb
Recently i've decided not to have *** until marriage
Recently i've decided to work on myself and my relationship with God
Recently i've realized that worldly desires don't satisfy
Recently i've decided to put God before everything

Her heart was being torn apart inside her ribcage,
what filled her heart was desolation,
tumbleweeds rolling down the abandoned streets of empty love,
vanquished remains of her hopes and dreams clutter the streets,
leafless trees all about, hosting homes for vultures eating her alive,
there is a brick wall being built slowly so no one could get in,
and a neon sign that read NO VACANCY.

oh darling
when will you realize that home
is not a house
but a feeling

So I wrote you a poem.

Which means I trust(ed) you.
I gave it to you for Christmas
at your little Christmas party
thinking you would read it later.
When you begged like a child,
i let you open part of your present,
but then you got into the rest
after I told you not to read it.
you  read  it  out  loud
in front of all our friends.
I felt my cheeks flush
and vision narrow,
thinking "I have to get away".
I go to the kitchen and pretend
i'm okay.

But I wasn't okay.

I gave you a piece of me,
no,
I trusted you with a piece of me.
and you gave it all away.
You showed the world my most sacred part of me,
without thinking if I wanted everyone to hear.

Thank you, "best friend", for showing me
that I made a mistake trusting you.

Love is a dangerous thing,
if you're the only one
drowning in it.