When I was younger I was taught that true love was something magical and beautiful. It was red roses at your door and the man of your dreams outside your window singing with big boom boxes and rings. It was expensive things and happy smiles 24/7.
But now I'm older it's not like that at all. It's deep talks at 2am and peeing when your on the phone. It's laughing at him when he messes up. It's saying all the wrong things at the wrong moments. It's kissing at 6am and singing at the most random times. It's late nights together with no makeup and hair messed up. It's never running out of things to talk about. It's watching movies on a Saturday night. It's watching things you wouldn't watch before (like honey boo boo or such.) it's spilling your heart out at 4 am when you should be sleeping. It's laying on top of each other and not saying a word just the feeling of heartbeats. It's driving in the car and listening to a song that makes you smile unconditionally. It's holding hands. It's taking ugly pictures together and laughing about them. Its watching your favorite band live for the first time after countless night listening to their albums. It's the small things he dose that makes you ever wonder what growing old would be like with him. It's crying at 5am just cause you had a rough night and them holding you until the monsters go away. True love isn't leaving when things get hard nor looking for it. It's the simple things in life that can make your day shine with the smallest windows. True love isn't something you will find no, it comes to you as quite as the wind. You have to listen to what's around you cause true love is around everyone.

I want you here with me
I want you to be the moon
So I can see you everywhere
So when I look up I see you looking down on me
But that would only be at night
And I can't only have you every sunset
I want you to be the sun
shining down on me, brighting my day
But I wouldn't have you at night and baby that's when I need you the most
I want you to be a ghost
Haunt me, follow me around, watch me
But then I wouldn't be able to touch or feel you and darling I can't, I need that
I want you to be everything around me
I want to feel you in the wind
When the cold air hits my faces
I want to feel your arms around me
Blocking me from the chill
I want you to be the tears that fill my eyes when I'm having a bad night
I want to be able to touch you when ever I please not only at the night time when we can only be together
I feel as my heart is getting attached to something again and that feeling is scaring me
he left me cold and alone not knowing when to let go and break away
Not knowing if anyone could possibly try to save me from the cold
I'm not one to ever be saved or wanted
But darling you make me feel like I'm the only one
and I have never felt like that before to anyone
Don't leave, don't ever run cause I feel my heart would follow you and disappear forever
I only have half a heart and I'm given it to you
I'm letting my slowly beating heart in the hands of a boy who I need
I hope you need me too
I hope your heart feels the same as mine
Dose how it beats faster when I'm around you
How the smile comes back and wont leave until you leave
I wanna be a better person for you and for myself
Cause baby I have to say I hated myself till you came around
I hated myself to the point were breathing Hurts, it hurt to the point I wanted to make it stop.

I can only
slowly tear myself to pieces
in attempts to be rid of
what has been imprinted
onto my soul
etched into my bones
as it mingles with my blood flow
I poke my fingers
through the hole in my rib cage
ripping out the mangled fragments
one tiny bit at a time
until I am as empty
as I feel

Fate always has a different plan
than that of which I make
why should one even plan at all
a forsaken destiny
I cant slap back the hand of god
or applaud the devils nod
when it seems each and every dream
is reality's facade

I’m looking at you-
Looking-looking-not.

I’m pretending I wasn’t staring-
Now I’m looking-looking-caught.

I want to tell you I could love you.
I could make you happy.
I could make you fall apart on the
bedroom floor,
helplessly and desperately proclaiming
that our love was more
than the nights of
raised arms and oceans of threatening depths.

But fifteen is an age when all of this
is just a dream,
a cliff where the jump is even more
dangerous than everyone says it to be.
Fifteen is the age when I believe,
that my hands have grown rough enough
to take yours
and maturity and age
have always been our similarity.
But fifteen is just another name for
"You're too young."

I cannot promise you that a wedding ring
would worth more than
the freedom to love the women
of taller heights and wider hips
for their lipstick is much darker
than the lip balm I use to
smoothen the dried skin.

For I do not know what it is like
to slide the glass between my fingers
and to taste the golden bubbles
freeze my teeth.

I do not know how to light a cigarette
or how to inhale the scent and death of rebellion.
I do not know how to let the ashes fall
unto the tray without burning my skin
and dirtying my nails.

I do not know how to make you want me,
how to dress and turn my curves
into mountains you wish to explore.
I do not know how to turn my tongue
into a weapon much deadlier
than the wind.
I do not know how to make you
feel beautiful.

So with all of the worlds streets, corners and
dimly lit bars,
I am nothing but a little pigtailed girl
with a lollipop in one hand and a poorly written
love note in the other.
And there you are,
as tall and as handsome as I've always seen
you as
with no time to look down,
only straight ahead.

But I guess, thats okay.
The heels would never have fit me anyway.

There is no real date
To know when I had loved you
And there is no fear and limit
For the things you'd say, I’d do.

I'd swim against currents
And drown in tides fathoms deep.
I’d climb the highest mountain
And jump when you say, “Leap.”

I’d break the largest mirror
And walk on its shattered glass.
I’d run around the earth a thousand times,
Just to make us last.

I’d fly a plane through a storm,
Never stop until it’s through.
Yes I would do this all,
So you would love me too.