Picking me up from Bethnal Green at 8am in the morning after I've had another crazy night out
Feeling lost and alone
Mind wandering and heart endlessly racing
Unable to go home and the only person that I know and needed there to save me was you
It was tasteless of me but the taste of comfort really was priceless
And even though we didn't speak for hours while I lay there filled with regret
You regretfully on my mind again
wondering what you're thinking
It was really sad because even though we weren't right for eachother you were always right there for me
3am
8am
I am -
thanking you again for just being there.

It should have been home and instead it was the equivalent of rounds of no Brexit deal tribulations
We were largely at war, it was the Renaissance of our sour relationship
which we thought had been swept under the bristles of the front door mat
but the residual anger had decided to rise to the surface and encompass our relationship once again
Relationship is a funny word, almost,
it is like we are on a ship, facing the tides and the currents
the smooth sailing -
but that never lasts, not really.

I leave the house and feel your eyes burning behind my back
you're not sure if I will come back -
because he didn't
but you've asked me to leave as it's now destroying you.
I'm not really sure what you mean because you've never properly explained not in a coherent way anyway.
All the words get lost
letters are muddles up and now there's a slanging match with words that aren't even in the dictionary,
I look them up later to check.

I've had enough
and so have you
some relationships don't last until the end instead they sail and drift away.

I thought about you
The sun was shining irregularly for such a winters day
And I remembered how much you loved the sunshine
I remembered how much you loved me and how promises of forever had flown from your lips all the way into my arms that were stretched out ready to catch them.
Words really are just words
Because on the hottest of days you were so cold
And there was so much space between us
What was unsaid was still heard
And it really hurt-
My heart,
But that’s just how some stories go.
The polarities between you and I
Were now so vivid in my minds eye.
Bus journeys sat in silence
Dinner eaten without a word spoken
A love we thought
But now totally broken
And the contrast between you and I
So vivid and unpredicted
In my minds eye.

When you feel like the battle has been lost
remember one thing
you chose every moment
and there was nothing in this world you could not carry

How magnificent is that moment
when we realise
what we have been searching for
the blinding light
it came from you

While we stood together
we were miles apart
I did not want you to be connected to this
a frequency not quite there
yet.
While sorrow still crept through me
you were so so still unaware of it all
a life untouched by pain
if only if only.
As I connect with my memories
healing slowly
I will know you are there
and we will be together.

Another year silently disappears
We look out at the bleak grey sky
There's something different
This time our trajectory is so so clear

We walked through the dirt
but our path was so absolute
The air was so crisp
Wind skimmed our face
Our journeys, they led us face to face

And there was nothing that we couldn't take
No element in this world we were unable to face
and that was the change
we changed it all
the inner voice -
we heard it call

I couldn't deny the words I heard
you heard it too
it was like a singing bird
a robin that wouldn't stop
and a message so distinct
we could never forget.

As the next year slowly draws in
what we know
we welcome it
with arms open wide.
It belongs to you,
the words echo in my ear
you must embrace it every single year.