~feelings, emotions, thoughts; it's better when they're on paper than in me

controlling, devouring, killing; it's better where no one else can ever see

longing, needing, begging; don't ever let them know that you really care

degrading, using, misleading; don't ever let them in on what's really there~

honestly I'd never tell him this
cause I don't think he'd mind
I took the blade back to my skin
and made the deepest lines

I had a dream where you didn't leave

Held you close, tight, right next to me

Your eyes did shine and my heart wasn't sore

Looking at me with love like you did before

Told me you'd be here till the end of time

Kissing you close not recognizing a lie

Go
Just go
Fade away like this dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
We will never be

When I wake reality is harsh to a dreamer

Dose of cold air delivered by a schemer

Showed me the side of him that made me fall

Left me with the side of him he never showed at all

Though he's gone, he stays

Showing up in my dreams day after day

Go
Just go
Fade away from my mind
If only I could turn back time
Then you'd be mine

I need you gone, need you to leave

For once I just beg for peace

Stop smiling at me at night

Just stop making my heart want something that isn't right

It's unhealthy to ache for something that can't be fixed

Tired of missing someone that shouldn't be missed

So go
Please go
Fade away from my heart
I can't take this constant reminder that we are apart
I need a new start

There was a time I held it in

Sinking to the bottom of the dark abyss

Where ones thoughts take over rationality

Madness becomes your mentality

Never did I speak my mind

Not once did I complain when I was left behind

Then he came along and took me in

At the time I didn't recognize him as the Devils kin

Eventually his true self came to be shown

By that time I was too invested in the man that I had known

Sitting there day after day in silent agony

Eventually sanity turns into brutality

Sadness turns to anger and judgement is clouded

Blinded from what you once believed your sanity becomes shrouded

Bruises did cover my skin

Torturing myself by holding it in

Why couldn't I say what was on my mind

It's not like I was alone or didn't have time

I'm sure your thinking it was because I was afraid

You'd be wrong. My silence was all about self hate

Sure I hated him. But mostly I hated me

And as time went on I grew to hate everybody

Be a good girl put everything in its place

I'd smile and put on my false happy face

Then there came a night

Quiet and peaceful the stars were shinning bright

He came looking for me

Interrupting my first moment of peace

It was like time stood still when he raised his voice

Realization hit me that I have a choice

Something in me snapped when he raised his fist

My vision became clouded by a red mist

Taking the punishment I stayed silent like I'd been doing all my life

But this time when night fell I slipped into bed holding a knife

I couldn't bring myself to stop the deadly plunge even when the blood started to flow

For Blood is like sugar when revenge runs the show

Dripping from my fingertips on to the bed it left a mark of finality that put my madness at ease

My smile was genuine as I dialed the number to phone the police

What is your emergency the operator asked me

I replied I have killed the devil and now I am free

I was brought in with chains and put in the pen

When asked why I did this I would answer I held on the pain in

Now as I sit quietly on my cot in the joint

I smile as I recall my breaking point

There she sits, all alone

All she needs is a home

There she cries on the ground

All she wants is to be found

There she runs, away from here

All she feels is fear

There she screams "Find me!"

All she craves is to be free

There he kneels looking for a sign

All he needs is more time

There he sobs into the pillow

All he wants is to not feel so hollow

There he yells "I see you!"

All he craves is for this sight to be true

There she sits, an angel all alone

All he sees is her, his home

There they stand together

All they need is each other, forever

There is a man I see in my dreams

This man who's kiss fills me with need

I wake up so hot and covered in sweat

Aching for a man I've never met

His touch sets me on fire

Feels me with passion and desire

I know this man, though I have not seen with my eyes

I know his touch, his kiss, and I know he is mine

His body fits, molds with mine like a glove

During my dream he shows me the secrets of love

The things we do makes me blush, but I'm not embarrassed

He is strong yet his touch is a gentle caress

Who are you? I need to know now

I need to find my lover I just don't know how

So next time you come to me whisper your name

I will find you so we can ease our pain

Dance with me, Lift me high

Make my legs weak, Caress my inner thigh

Touch my Lips, Press against yours

Never have I wanted more

Eyes stare into my soul

Connection runs deep, Never grows old

In the past life I know we did this dance before

For a night; For decades; For forever more

Two bodies meet, Collide in a sensual dance

As heat filled the air, and Love decided to take a chance