you should, my love

let me have you

in good taste

naked

strip you

peice by peice

down if you please

to where your beauty is

exposed

i would have you

laid back

against the earth, tree branch & sky



you should, my love

let me take you

in good taste

into myself

inch by inch

drop by drop

i want the sweetness

that you are

let me mount you,

celebrate you

with the nectar of madness

unbridled & unrestrained



you’ll see then

& in very good taste

how your body shivers

with delight & turns

under my tongue of fire

while my floodwalls

break & overflow

to cool your desire

i don’t have much, really

cept a few old lp’s from chicago

78’s from motown

& cd’s that play the blues

but

if all you wanted

was to boogiepophipfandangle

& snap your fingers

to you, I’d give

to see you smile & dance



cause you see,

i don’t have much, really

cept some poems bout love

& if you wanted to be

cereano & serenade another

to you, i’d give

to see you happy & loved



& although i don’t have

the riches of a king

or eloquent words

to pluck your hearts strings

what little i do have

to you, i’d give



i’m ruddy brown

& poor as a beggar's heart

who like a scratched record

stutters occasionally

whenever you’re around

because all i have to offer

is love

i'm sorry that the first breath i bring into this world
is one deep filled with pollution
corruption
fear
& the deep raging of man

i'm sorry that you cant revel in your nakedness
without the piercing of a perverts eye
or the prodding of a Catholics lance
and that you have to grow up, a Amazon
fiercely protecting your innocence
from those wanting to beat against it
until it resembles the tattered skin
of a well worn drum
& that the acceptance of self
is illusionary
in terms of cosmo stars ******* thin and skeletal
your identity, lost in sizes real women don't exist in
or in the way real men aren’t really perceived

i'm sorry that the meaning of friends
will often turn into the meaning enemies
who start rumors that will turn you into a *****
to be shunned while your virginity is vilely forgotten
in the backseat of a make-believe van
or that they
will give you falsities telling you being a man
doesn't really extend beyond the six inches
you hold at night

i cant apologize enough for the things you will find
lacking in others
the sad absence of esteem
that will wilt them away
like dehydrated flowers in the sun
killing all those around you
from ****** of needles, popping of pills, shattering
of bullets, gulletting of food
and yes even  from love, unprotected.
i wish there, you did not have to learn
that high school will be
a prison barring you of your freedom
stripping you of your identity
and ****** privy from your open grasp

i'm sorry that you may come to know
what parenthood is before i have yet
to figure it out
or that when it is time to venture
into the world alone
that college will be a constant search for self
because what defines you will change
daily based on the opinion of others

there,
i wish you did not have to learn
all men are not honest
are not faithful
and that you will be revered
as an object to be had and not held
as an object to be acquired and forgotten.

i apologize that your life will not be
the fairytale promised to you
and that the ethics and morals
instilled will be something
your challenged to swallow
more than the
daily bread and wine
you eat and drink

i would hope that you would know
you are more than the game you play
your brain extends beyond the passing of a ball
and that the easy way to the top is not
flat on your back

i am sorry that
until you are old or i am dead
i must keep a sharp eye and a constant tight grasp
only to prevent you from running head first
into the world

forgive me for making me show you
the difference between
right and wrong
**** and love
honesty and duplicity
strength and weakness
sound principalities and ill gotten gains

i am sorry that
that when you get my age
crows feet will fall from the sky
and land on your face
gravity will pull at your skin
till it swings like pendulums
in the late time of your life
and that pink ribbons will
no longer belong
in your hair
but over your *******

forgive me but i must tell you
not to succumb to the *******
of a doctors tool
but to relish in your old age
knowing that it is your reward
and only proof
that you lived long
and loved hard


i’m sorry that out of my brief moment of pleasure
my ****** brings you into a world filled with so much pain

how selfish of me.

but to think that maybe
just maybe
you came into this world
knowing
and maybe
the first breath i bring into this world
will be one deep filled with purity
candor
valor
& the deep raging for equality

and that maybe
just maybe
my ******
finally did something right
after all.

i don't want to look like
aunt rosa's grandmother
who no longer wears
a bra
but a ***** sling
a holster
built strong enough
to keep boulders
from dropping out
the sky

every morning
she would
bend over and
pour herself a D cup
then
lock them tightly
on the third rail
and pray that the
2 convicts
didn't take flight
in the middle of
the day

i try to prevent
gravity from
stealing
the perkiness
my lover loves
every time i take a deep breath
and they point guiltily at him
but
no matter how much
support i've crossed
my heart with
gravity
pulls and stretches
my new bra
till the straps
tether  and my cups
runneth over
spilling onto
on to the reality
of the hard
cold floor

do you remember
when
the world shut me out?

how quick we forget, now

when i was four
and they threw
sand in my eyes
& me out of the box
i cried so hard
i couldn't see
and you still told me
i was too special
for them to see
what they're missing

i'm blind to you, now
when
i was chubby
8th grade
and no one else
loved me
you still told me
how beautiful
i was
and that you
would always
see me that way

how ugly am i to you, now

when i was purple
haired and fifteen
you bailed me out of jail
you still told me
even if i was wrong
you could never leave me
there

you bail on me, now

when i got stood up
you took me to prom
anyway
you still told me
i will always
be there for you
especially when
others won't

you stand me up, now

do you remember
how proud you were
when you still told me
ill always be
your child

somehow
i must be adopted, now

i may be pregnant
i may be gay
i may be high
i may be sick
i may be dying

but,
i am still yours

do you remember
when
the world shut me out?

how quick we forget.

53 cents
i found in a dusty corner
once
i found underneath a sock
a spider dead
smothered
i found on top a box
an old report card
hiding
i found next to a shoe
some old cracked photos
curling
i found behind the vent
a wooden toy
dry rotting
i found between dresses
this boogeyman
cowering
&
myself
concealed

i can see the train
running on her tracks
from here
can you see it?

it’s saying
weave me, weave me, weave me, weave me.

you are right to not believe

for you
the silent cries
that carry into the night
do not existence the volume
of your tv is adjusted
& everything becomes
a mute apparition
illuminated
but not heard.

you are right not to believe

for you
the sounds of gunshots
are the popping of fire crackers
after holiday barbecues
& the screams
come from parades of people
cajoling down side streets.

you are right not to believe

for you
the only hanging you know
exists in laundry whites
bleached towels are a must
for wiping hands
clean
& unstained
from the bloodied bodies
of loved ones.

you are right not to believe

for you
the world doesn't exist
beyond these bordered white picket fences
& bakes sales
until your mexican comes
to clean

suburbia
when will you realize
the war to be fought
runs beyond 5’o clock rush hour
& taking away your son’s ps4?

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the deafness in your ears
to ignore the shouts
for you to move

take action

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the blindness in your eyes
to ignore the ignorance
for you to see

take action

the brownness of my skin
should not be the basis
for the blandness of your tongue
to refuse the opportunities
for you to taste

take action
for
the color of the hands
passing the plate
shouldn't matter
when you’re starving
for change.

things that happen in my world
don't exist
not in reality
for instance
the absence of racism
exists
not in some, but all stores
where i have enough credit
to try what i want
to buy what i want
without being patrolled

i've never been to prison

i mean my world
is a place where i can be
myself
and the absence of prejudice
exists
not in some
but in all cultures
where i don't have to ride
the white picket fence by day
and jump into
the black skin of my life at night
just to get by

i'm tired of being two toned

in my world
things are different
and
the absence of comparisons
exist
individuality is recognized
and everything fits
not on some
but on all people
here my size
always remains the same
and my image isn't constantly challenged
by the cutouts of paper doll magazines

i never looked like a model

i really like it in my world
because here
underwear models
really are accessible to me
the plane jane i am
and not some
but all men really like getting
dressed up to take you
somewhere
besides McDonalds for a burger
and a neck-bone in the park
here, in this place
honesty exists
not in some, but in all people
it is inconceivable to lie
a virtue
ingrained at birth

i can't stand backstabbing

you cant say that my world
isn't a pleasant place
here
no one dies
violently
the absence of gunfire
exists and
drive bys of the
boys on the corner slinging slang
overdosed  and full of crazed maddening screams
don't float like an evil spirits
through my window at night
trying to possess me
for garage sale bought tv's
while blue and red sirens
illuminating my moonlit skies

i don't need the extra lights

on the street
where we live
the world that exists
beyond these 4 walls
doesn't dictate me
i am not
plastered
in a mold

my eyes
see beyond the line
of my neighbors back yard
my vision
is not fenced in
by the suburbia
that surrounds me
i can see
where we live now
is a place
where blood is shed
& flows
like armies of rivers
where rocks are shells
of mortar
hidden in the depths of sand
where
my ears hear
beyond my daughters laughter
the cries of a mother
left barren as the drought ridden land
as she stands
holding her last legacy
in her blood soaked hands.

i want to sit in
Buenos Aires
drink coffee
till i am as wired
as the skyline
at midnight

i never sleep anyway

i want to kiss strangers
fake-ly
like they were my friends
i lost somewhere
but recently found

i need new friends

i want to tango
with a white Patagonia
rose
clenched in my teeth
while my clenched *******
rise and fall
to the beat of the waves
in my water bra

i never had lessons anyway

i want Argentina
full of faux marble
dance hall floors,
scuffed shoes, burned beans
and fish markets full of thorny
roses

i need to feel full

when i’m away from you
this ******
that i've had
waiting

with its wrapper edges
so neatly folded up
makes a good
ashtray

now, if only i smoked

through the spaces
between
curling flowers
and a lattice framed
yellowing
fence

i could see them

i could watch them

every
day

the barbeques
slamming of doors
pool parties
birthdays
late nights
x rated

the loudness of it all
left me panting
for more
&
living vicariously
through their lives

all i want
is a philly cheese steak
not the kind from penn station
but the real ones
from joes
you know,
on 42nd street
where miles
and monk
are played on the corner
by sax mills
and for a dime
you can hear it
loud as the honking horns
blowing in time with the bustling street
while men wearing black bow ties
try to sell me bean pies
allah for a dollar

yeah,
there is where i go
after the grill has been
used all day
and the grease is caked up
like layered pastries
cause that's when they taste best
smothered in onions
and provolone cheese
thicker than
a baby wrapped in a winter blanket

yeah man,
this is my daily bread

my friend al
calls me every night
midnight to be exact
with invites to the maryland club,
you know the one, near hudsons bay
where johnny walkers always playing that old drum?

come he says
& we can dance with martini & rossi
baila baila on table tops
while jose cuervo
plays his cuban guitar.

aye yae yae mami,
venga, venga!
come
let me show you the comforts
of southern hospitality

it will only cost you one silver dollar

i try to say no
absolutely not

cause the last time i danced with al
i found myself lying in the arms of ron bacardi
at the old kentuky tavern down by the green river
ooh, he was soo smooth talking
standing there dressed in his red label shoes
& when he told me i felt like black velvet,
handed me four roses
& tickled me with three feathers
i found myself with my
backside to the ground
& me looking up at nothin but skyy
& by the time i knew what was going on
we had done it 151 times
before jack daniels caught us
behind mr. boston's house
& when he swore
he’d tell my old grand dad
i was so scared,
i stole the white horse
that belonged to capitan morgan
just to get away.

lord knows to this day
if he knew
he’d slap me silly, take me to church
& swear the christian brothers
could save my soul.

no, i wanna say
absolutely not

but its too late

i’m already at the canadian club
where my soul is being ******
by the fat *******
filling my glass
with crushed grapes.

i want to
stand in the sun
with you

i want us to live
out of hotels
off room service
have your arms be
my private bungalow
where I never dream afraid
only leaving to
feel the grainy sand
beneath our wet feet
and entwined nakedness

i miss our crooked summer sleep
you know,
the one where our limbs
sinew
to the point that
no one knew
whose limbs were their own
the one where
you cupped my breast
all night &
pressed against my back
with your breath
warming my neck
and turning me on
at
the
same
time

i want to stand
in the sun with you
& leave everyone else
standing in the dark
stench of everyday
let them be buried
beneath the hustle
of daily life

come
follow me
to a hideaway
where wrapped in each others arms
we’re free from limitations

our own private place


don’t you get it?
you’re my
island escape.

would you like to make love tonight
underneath the coolness of blue city lights
in the warmness of this dark room
where i might only kiss
you
till our lips can’t tell the kisser from the kiss
& our tounges entangle to become one
like the time all we did was kiss
here
we could begin to make love

would you like to make love tonight
while dizzy’s band plays the blues
you could hear it
& play  a melody of your own
with me in the warmness of this dark room
where i wanna make love
with you

darling give me your hands
place yourself inside my melody
till music flows from it
like running water & i
drown you with tunes so sweet
you sing my name
acapella

tell me
would you like to make love tonight
by the flicker of a candlelit flame
& have our shadows dance together
across the room
until we come
faster than the A train back to harlem

you know
ellington never played music
as sweet as mine

can you hear it?
wouldn’t you like to?
i’m playing it for you.

boys were fun
for a while

with their tousled hair
flopping freely
like wilted flowers
over eyes
that peered
just enough
through the cracks
at me
like a scared child
to make you want to go
and pull them through

boys were fun
for a while

kissing different ones
was like eating
an assortment
of creme filled chocolates
never knowing
what i was going to get
till the end

like an italian gelatto
on a hot day
some were
sweet & refreshing
while others
burned me
like bitter herbs
leaving a bad taste
in my mouth


& i
like a plant in the desert
freshly rained on
didn’t realize
how dry
my needs were
until i met you

now
i no longer
go out to play
cause
you placed
my expectations
so high
that
like a cat stuck in
the tallest tree
i’ve been unable to bring them
down since

late at night
when the moon is hanging
high in the sky
& the stars luminescence
gently caresses your face

i watch you sleep

in the silence of the room
where only the silence of your breath
can be heard

it is there
i watch you
while we lay
our limbs entwined
like ivy vines
i allow my hand
to forbiddingly touch your face
tracing
the suppleness of your brown lips
that carry the kiss
i wish to savor
like fine wine

while we sleep
we become entangled
in a web of sheets and satin skin
while your arms
bearing the strength of Sampson
cradle me gently & pull me close
my chin rests
in the cook of your neck
where i can smell
the scent of your sweet air
i close my eyes
hold you
& kiss you there
til morning comes
when you have to leave me
once more

some nights
i imagine
my hands are yours
cupping my *******
while i sleep
& sometimes
they slide
downwards
moving into my thighs
separating the space
between of reality
& making it so good
that sometimes
i scream my own name
because supposedly
now
i am you

what is this
tingle
between my
toes
that rises up
into shock waves
just from
your heat
and it’s
got me feeling some kinda way
****
you
for taking your words
and twisting them up
into my underwear
which mishappendly
fell to the floor
the moment you touched
me
and i swear i don’t know how
they got there
**** you
for making me remember
this feeling
i’m used to being so numb
that i have forgotten
how to react to feeling
this feeling some kinda way

****
you
for being here oh so late
but oh so on time

i want to tell you
i love you
but the words
escape me
like a freed convict
who has disappeared into the night
leaving my feelings
arrested instead.

i do not understand
how three words
can be
hard as cement
and lay
stuck in my throat
like Excalibur
in stone
unable to be
pulled out,
even by you

i don't dare admit
my
feelings

i am an alcoholic
in denial
when it come to
how addicted i am
to you

in my dreams
every night
you visit me
like a silent thief
and enter
into my bed
into me

the ghost of your weight
fills me with the
heaviness of your soul

&
your weightless breath
blows me over
with the intensity
of a storm
brewing

we lay
pretending to be sleep
as darkness creeps
through the night
like your hand
across my thigh
as you pull me to you
covering me
like a cloud
over the face of the moon

your kiss
it penetrates me
shallow & deep
the way you do
while your breath
blows over me
like a soft wind
brewing before a storm
& i
underneath your weight
blow over
like a flower in the wind
taking in
all that you have to give