i want to tell you
i love you
but the words
escape me
like a freed convict
who has disappeared into the night
leaving my feelings
arrested instead.

i do not understand
how three words
can be
hard as cement
and lay
stuck in my throat
like Excalibur
in stone
unable to be
pulled out,
even by you

i don't dare admit
my
feelings

i am an alcoholic
in denial
when it come to
how addicted i am
to you