Since you left
My skin hasn't stopped smelling
Of stale cigarettes
And my mouth hasn't stopped tasting
Of my own regrets

Someday you’ll fall in love with a broken boy
who you’ll find as golden as they come,
and in a couple years it won’t be the same, as it goes,
when you'll be jolted from sleep to bug-eyed loneliness
in the witching hour of the toughest nights,
tear-stained and screaming his name,
but you'll feel alive,
you will feel live now more than ever,
because the capacity to love stems only from loss
and the coolness of the unwrinkled sheets beside you.

Your eyes
Are places I dream of exploring
Your smile
Oh, your smile
Is the most lovely I've ever seen
Not at all warm
Yet so inviting

Something in the universe fell into place
The day your image was dreamt up
But it seems your creator
Your masterful sculptor
Didn't have a knack for chemistry
For though he perfected your smallest details
He forgot to instill you with
The ability for you
To love me

Your pale grass colored eyes flickered towards me in the passenger seat;
cigarette out the window
I stare at my ruby colored lips in the side view mirror
You drum your fingers on the wheel to Blue Bossonova
I remember the dream catcher hanging from the mirror catching my eye;
a majestic golden hue from the sunlight reflecting off of it.

We weren't supposed to be driving the car,
We both knew this, but we were rebels
So I had climbed out my window without my parents knowing
ripping my jeans in the process
just to be with you.

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring through my headphones
Thinking about all the things I'm going to do with you

Had I known it would be the last time seeing you smile
The last time hearing you breathe
Hearing you talk
     Touching your skin
I would have obeyed my parents rules for once.

Instead of staring at your pretty green eyes
I stare at the pretty headlights coming our way
I feel the car swerve to the left;
the dream catcher falling
The car spinning like a dradle in the air
It was like everything were in slowmotion
As I look over at you in horror
your pale green eyes flicker away from mine
closing as if to say
"I'm sorry."
The car comes to a hault.
You were motionless as we were upside down
Tears fall down my ****** cheeks
I scream at you to wake up;
but you wouldn't
Then I stopped wasting my breath
I stopped
Like your heart

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring in my headphones
because now I'm fantasying about all the things we could have done

About all the things we could have said
like
"You're paying for the electrical bill this time."
or
"I do."
Now I'm stuck listening to Blue Bossonova
blaring in my headphones
thinking about all the things I'd have to do without you

Had I known

I'll write a poem on your skin
With my lips, our love tattooed on every inch
At the back of your ear, your delicate nape
Your perfect spine and cheeks like wine

I'll breathe the words in your mouth
Let your soul read and keep my oath
Trace it in your waist and engrave the lines
Down to the lovely hidden shrine

Your eyes on my eyes, my warm hands on your hips
I can hear our poem inside your chest
The rhythm of our hearts will turn it into a song
And with your gentle kiss

*I'll write again.

Today I sat in class
Watching the clock tick towards three,
Filling my mind with fantasies
Of where I'd rather be
And thinking
I'm fed up with reality

Yes, I need change
My conscious mind agrees

I've grown tired of the same old faces
The same old routines
The same old places

But
I think
If I could be happy as easily
As moving around my schedule
Wouldn't I just
be?

It was in that moment
I begun to see
I'm just tired
Of being me