You were a substitute
For something I once had
A second - best replacement
To one whom I once loved

I took advantage of your affections
Your sincerity and love
And used it for my own selfish desires
To numb the pain in my heart

You were my perfect revenge to him
To show I've moved on
Because you were loving and gentle
Something he once were

At first, I felt triumphant
Yet empty as it all seems
You were never good enough
The same way he was to me.

You were the exact opposite
Devoted, faithful, and true
But I still wasn't satisfied
Because he wasn't you

And every time I held your hand
Or flirted back at you
All I can think about was him
And what he always used to do

Like when he'd whisper sweet nothings
You would shout it out to the world
He would hold me close and short
You'd prefer to never let me go

Yet why couldn't I
Belong to you like I did to him
Love you as much, even more
Than what I used to give

But his memories continues to haunt me
Though you were always there
And as I look at you
I always see him

I couldn't hurt you any longer
That would just be unfair
To keep comparing you to him
In every way I can

So, to finally end
I'm sorry, I never loved you
Or reciprocated your sincerity in any way
But I would not keep hold of you any longer.

As cliche as it may sound to you
I know it does to me
I'm sorry, just know it wasn't you
It has always been me.

Something you may not know about me is that I do not sleep well with other people. It's always a very broken, restless sleep and I wake tired and I dislike the first thing I have to do in the morning be to talk to someone.
The reason you don't know this is because it doesn't happen with you. In fact, I sleep better with you. I fall asleep easier and I actually stay asleep and when I wake up I love having you in my arms to press close to and say good morning. This is new to me. But it feels right.

Something you may not know about me is that I've had my heart broken before. Yes, I've loved before, throwing myself into it the first time and ending up with a terrible aching heart that took years to heal.
The reason you don't know this is because now that I'm with you, it's like my heart has never known that hurt. I feel like I'm new to love again, ready to give my all and not knowing what I'm getting myself into it but enjoying every bit of it. This is almost scary to me. But I'm grateful.

Something you may not know about me is when I'm alone, I think of myself as a quiet person. I prefer to be on my own with just my silent words for company, I like calm and stillness.
The reason you don't know this is because I can't shut up around you. I speak like the words will be erased if I don't get them into the air, like I will collapse if I can't make you understand. I just want you to know me. And I laugh loudly and freely with you, because there's a joy I need to express. This is unsettling to me. But I like that I can do it with you.

Something you may not know about me is I have said "I love you" to many people. I love easily and openly, when given the chance to poke out of my shell.
The reason you don't know this is because when I say I love you to you, it's like the first time. The words taste fresh and sincere on my tongue, like they've been reinvented just for you.

This is new to me. But it feels right.

I'm the dust of forgotten stars;
The smoke between your lips;
The shivers on your spine

Frozen to the bone
But my heart is aflame
My mind shudders
And my soul is to blame

We're all fighting our own battles
And I try to keep that in mind
But how long can I go
Without people realizing
That I've already lost mine

The smell of a guy you're about to kiss; his breath, his eagerness, his lust radiating out of his inner being

Suicide note: butterfly wings are so beautiful and soft, so unlike living

A girl frightened by her own shadow but not her death
A girl that does not fear death but craves it

Being cremated and having your ashes spread throughout the world is so beautiful; you can finally go wherever you want; you are finally free

We all perish
There's no denying
We're living our lives
But we're already dying

Why would you waste your life
On a girl
That's wasting away?

Love lost is still love
Just the way that a downpour is still just rain

I am envious
Of the sheets and bed that you sleep in
They get to wrap you up
And hold you in ways I never could

Somewhere in between
The 2 AM nightmares
And
The empty passenger seats
I fell apart.
And I don't know
If I can be fixed.

My life isn't real;
I'm a hallucination;
My body is a dream;
And my soul an illusion

This fire is consuming me
My veins are ablaze
My lungs are nothing but smoke
My thoughts have turned to ash
I'm being burned alive

Tendrils of smoke
Surrounding my mind
Like a crown of amnesia
The only thing I remember
Is to say that I'm fine

Her soul is broken, tangled, intertwined with those of the lost, the dead.

The wall I built was one of unimaginable beauty
As I laid the final brick I wiped my hands on my jeans and took a step back
I gazed at the wall in all of its fortified glory
Each brick laid with painstaking care and carefully cemented in place
I looked at my wall with an empty smile I had plastered across my face as carefully as the cement I now watched drying
Not a thing could breach my lovely barrier
Not a single ****** thing

I turned my back on my creation and began to let my new found tranquility wash over me
Then there was a sound
A crack, a thud
A slight whisper of impending horrors
I turned and watched as my wall
My beautiful, impermeable wall  
Crumbled
Becoming a wretched pile of rubble
A pile you stood behind, your eyes piercing mine
A satisfied smirk stretched across your face
You wiped your rubble-dusted hands together
Took a step back
And gazed at your destruction