I need to be honest now, even it will bring me to hell,
I feel guilty, I am guilty of many things, in detail I will not tell,
I stolen and wasted so much money, resources, relationships and many more,
I need to be honest, I surrender jail me, **** me it's better, can't stand this guilt anymore,

I have the right to remain silent but I choose not,
Have mercy just jail me, I have friends there a lot, I did not forgot,
From my heart I say this I'm sorry but you don't have to forgive me,
I need to face my sentence I'll accept it wholeheartedly,

Forgive my words or how I speak I don't know if I'm insensitive,
I ask again for forgiveness but I don't deserve it, you don't need to forgive,
Maybe this is my last written work I'm afraid now what to say,
Cause I'm lost in my direction, I'm lost in my way, maybe I'll mess it up anyway,

I know many try to help me but I'm too late to see,
Now I realize I was full of myself acting high and mighty,
I need to be honest, I need to face my sentence, I feel afraid also, give me a little mercy,
I act high and mighty, but in reality I'm just full of self pity,

I need to be honest, need now to face TRUTH and reality,
To the Guru my guru who teach me many wisdom forgive me, I wasted it all,
To the woman far away in love may it be childish or not I really fall,
I'm sorry, don't need to forgive me, or have pity,

You can make me your slave or your puppet, if in that way I can repay,
Cause many times many of YOU helped me but I still betray,
Forgive me I can only express in writting here,
Cause if we meet in person I know in YOU I fear,

Yes I have experience lost, sadness, and suffering but I have no excuse,
Love, happiness, friendship was there also but I wasted it, I abuse,
I'm just here waiting don't know what to say or do,
I need to be honest and live or die to be true.

Inspire me for this night;
let this hand of mine write;
bringer of inspiring light;
a sight of a future so bright;

melt me a puny frozen fire;
let thy will be my desire;
higher dreams we aspire;
break all walls and barriers;

teach me the ways of the wise;
let my mouth speak no lies;
let this hands of mine take no life;
let the world have no strife;

let me touch many hearts and lives;
making a peaceful world be my drive;
let the dead souls be alive;
a paradise dream we could arrive;

let this humble simple art;
touch a stranger's heart;
who knows if this could be a start;
a bright future we could impart;

many storms already come our way;
still, we're here standing living this very day;
our life span seems so short so brief;
that death comes to our life like a thief;

so I write this before my time is up;
thunder comes like a clap;
days and nights of gloomy clouds;
shattering lightning shaking grounds;

let it cease! let all storms be over;
let everyone in this world be together;
dreamer's, children of the future generation;
words and dreams are reality like word incarnation;

if our minds and hearts are all one;
nothing is impossible anything can be done;
Almighty one to you I run and call;
me a mortal tool so small;

use me as your instrument;
shower thy wisdom of infinite;
whatever is your master plan;
let your mighty will be done;

help me to reach our dreams with zeal;
in wavy storms make me still;
when we fall make us rise;
make this world once again a paradise;

17/03/2022

Oh, Lord! Let these Lips of mine say thank You;
Challenges I endure, You help me, still, You do;
Troubles come my way I know not a clue;
But Your words still help me through;

Thanks for the persons you send my way;
may you continue on guiding me every day;
Make me strong, patient, honest, and true;
Almighty Father make me  obedient to You;

Times I have joyous laughter, smiles, and weeping tears;
We share that humor and emotions cause You're a God that hears;
Those tears I shed I need not say a thing You already knew what I want;
true things inside my inner heart slowly I realize you already grant;

Oh! Almighty Father may You also hear the cries of other people;
I ask for forgiveness for in our selfish ways we made ourselves *******;
Raise us up Our Loving Father every people in every nation;
Make our hearts not be hardened let them feel some emotion;

Forgive me if at times I lack gentleness in my actions;
Please Our Father let me know Your instructions;
destructions are all over the world is what we see;
Oh! Our Loving Father help all of us please let it be;

Oh! Forgiving merciful Father come to our aid;
forgive us for the unsightly things we've made;
touch our lives and our living hearts;
I believe You're a God who never departs;

Father, in everything that is happening make us humble to learn;
and I beg let Your living Spirit in everyone take home, let it burn;
Let the living flame of Your love be in each one of us;
many of us people, in You almighty Father, put our trust;

Let my head, heart, and hand all of me be of your service;
Many of us long for Your hug, embrace, and Your tender kiss;
Oh! Lord Almighty Father be slow to anger to the human race;
Help us learn to follow Your will and turn away to our unsightly ways;

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25/02/2022

I read my old written works I don't know why;
as I'm reading some of it waterworks also in my eye;


26/02/2022 5:22 am

I'll try to write a little more before I go to sleep;
Cause I know at times I forget, promises I can't keep;
On the deep dark I go back and forth;
and made me think is it really worth it;

but the beautiful side of it that I see;
I realize there are people still helping me;
despite how many times I failed them;
doing my selfish ways over and again;

When I'm so foolish that I can't see;
and making everyone my enemy;
when I act like that please just ignore me;
It's just my stupidity as you can see;

You don't have or have a clue;
but at times many times I see God in you;
especially at moments I am lost and me you find;
you still accept me carry me, guide me, truly for me you are kind.

I blind myself that's why I can't see clearly;
I'll continue later on, writing this, seem to be like a diary;
I'll now try to get some good well rest;
Cause later on temptations come I'll be on the test.

26/02/2022 11:23 am

I did not get enough rest a deep long sleep:
but for me and mom ate our breakfast;
then as I watch the current news it almost makes me weep;
but I hold back my tears so fast how long will these horrors last;

I thought I already become so numb no more emotion;
to the one who hears, let us have peace whatever is your intention;
for what is happening globally just brings tears to my eye;
I don't want to cry but it just happen I don't know why;

Seeing families separated from each other;
now little I realize to cherish my mom more when we are together;
wife, young sons, daughter, children say see you later;
A father, a  brother will go to war hope things will still be better;

to whom it may concern whatever is your intention does it really matter;
to dance in this senseless war and slaughter a brother, a father;
a fellow human being, I thought I'm the only one blind here not seeing;
If this is the music of war we are hearing I hope no one is singing;

I may not know you and where you're coming from;
and what you have experienced and what will you become;
please if you have the voice the power, the authority;
for the good of all humanity please just end this savagery;

I know it is hard to stop things we usually do;
but in the end, we just regret it before we knew;
I knew this by experience even myself I abuse;
but in the end, it haunted me as I see what I have lose;

though things were so dark we still got a chance, a time to talk;
the dance will be smooth like in the park we just walk;
If a tyrant becomes a saint surely in this world he/she will leave a mark;
I believe there is still goodness in everyone even if all see them so dark;

Even how savage it is a man has done;
Or whatever he has become,
deep within my heart, I know the Almighty good Lord can still forgive,
seeing myself despite my lapses I still breathe and live;

For now, I'll just write until here and hope there will be no more fear;
I need time to rest and reflect to see things more clear;
to the one who reads this I hope your heart can hear;
each and everyone in this world has someone in their heart so close so near;

26/02/2022  2:55 pm

I and mom already finished our lunch together earlier;
dear oh Lord please heal my mom for today this is my prayer;
temptations truly come, I rattle, I need to face my own battles;
I need your strength oh! God for without You I'm a sheep a lost cattle;

It seems everything I do seems not enough;
deep inside I'm hurting but outside I just act tough;
When I try to laugh actually inside my heart I cry;
there is something missing I know not why;

Tomorrow is Sunday know not if I'll go to church and pray;
just guide me oh! Lord every step of the way day by day;
cause if I'll do my selfish ways I'll be lost again;
like a chick without his/her mother a loving hen, a writer without a pen.


26/02/2022  7:46 pm

Just a little while just now my mom spoke to me her last will;
why utter such words I believe in the Lord can heal, you could live still;
Lord my God almighty One to me many You have given;
I have no right to argue if what I cherish will be taken;

If this is a test for You oh! Lord, I still remain;
I'll do everything I can even to endure this pain;
I can only blame myself not You oh! Lord my God;
You already showered me your blessings and your bottomless love;

No time now to grumble;
I know Lord You let things happen and things I can handle
before the light of the candle fades out;
Now, Lord, I believe in You no more doubts;

27/02/2022 5:26 pm

I'm now getting ready I'll go to church and will see what will happen;
oh! Lord, I hope our relationship will be deepened;
thank you for the earlier morning you brought people in this humble home;
It helped me do some tasks for today now I know I'm not alone;

I'm really a blind sheep without you my God;
Please shower me more with your everlasting Love;
I miss the overflowing grace you shower and give;
teach me once more Your ways for the remaining days I live;

27/02/2022 7:31 pm

Now back from church, I was late already in the middle of it;
did not hear the priest's sermon but the songs of the choir really hit
me hard; it penetrated my heart, it really hit me hard;
especially that song that we need to help and feed those who starved;

Every time the choir starts to sing it makes me start to weep;
but I firmly hold back my falling tears,
does this mean our relationship oh! Lord will go deep;
Only with Your guidance oh! Lord, I leave all my fears;

Forgive me oh! Lord, I'm so emotional easy to cry;
but also forgive me if sometimes my eyes run dry;
I only experience shed never-ending tears twice;
It was with You oh! Lord and that someone who sings so nice;

Tears weeping that even I wash my face and wipe it out;
It still showers and rains so hard never it drought;
For you oh! Lord inside my heart I shout for joy and cry;
But I also experience it to someone near to my heart I know not why;

For today oh! Lord the day is done and night appears;
hope when the sun rises up the violence of wars disappears;
whatever is your wisdom and will oh! Lord, I will not question it;
whatever happens good or bad I promise and try I will not quit;

You oh! Lord has already given me so much good things;
now whatever life will give me I'll take it anything it brings;
may it be storm or sunshine, a cloudy day or a rainbow;
may it be as hot as the desert or as cold as snow;

for I am lowly and in your presence nothing I have known;
but with your unfathomable wisdom slowly I have grown;
teach me Your ways oh! Lord guide these feet of mine;
for I know in your presence oh! Lord everything will be fine;

I'm not worthy to receive you Oh! Lord, please help my soul be healed;
I beg you dwell upon me let my body set your Spirit to be filled;
make me oh! Lord Your living holy temple for you I beg and call;
for without your presence oh! Lord, I know once again I'll fall;

Like that time you showered me with Your overflowing grace;
I would never forget that time until the end of days;
That time I was so ecstatic I want to shout and cry;
that time everything I see makes me so happy I know not the reason why;

Thank you Oh! Lord for my mom still lives here with me;
thank you for giving me a family now slowly I can see;
how great is Your love oh! Lord that I can't fully understand;
just guide me in every step I take whatever is your master plan so grand.

Once again oh! Lord my God can I call you my Father;
and let all the people on this world be my sister or my brother;
I wast lost so many times but forgiveness you have give;
I know that it is true cause until now  I still breathe and live;

For now oh! Lord, I'll just write until here it's near the end of the month;
for the coming days oh! Lord help me guide me Love is what we'll plant;
I know I'm weak and is always lost that's why I need you, my Father;
I pray for the better that the world has its peace and everyone will be together;

Please Our Father help us not lose hope;
for with Your guidance everything, we can cope;
We your children are asking for Your help;
I have no shame in asking this for Your love is what I felt;

I seek the rhymes inside this head of mine;
Seeing the world now it's not that fine,
It's troubling having a tricky mind;
but hoping the kind Lord will shower what I'm longing to find.

Words that bring hope and beauty seem like magic;
but sometimes I ended up writing a story so tragic;
I forgot to turn my other cheek;
I was weak! I am weak to temptations if I may speak.

Unforgivable things I have done,
I expect now I will be hated by everyone;
but I do not mind that for now;
cause there are more important things for us to do anyhow.

If I could be in the presence of the Great Lord for you I beg and bow;
I'm not worthy to ask of You but we really need You now;
I don't know with other human beings but with myself, I'm in a constant war;
I'm fighting my wretched dark side I hated that side of me so far;

Human beings could be so wonderful and sadly cruelly ugly as we can see;
I don't know for others but in my experience, that is a reality for me;
I sometimes wonder in confusion and doubt that there are those who watch me;
I thank them and like it but at the same time a little bit angry;

But I blame no one I'm just superstitious kind of lowly human;
I'm not really sure if I'm right for the things that unfold and have been done;
It is sad to see the world suffering in a state of calamity;
Crazy wild weather and nations troubling everyone us you and me;

What can I do what can you do? Oh! help us, dear God;
I will not wash my hands as Pilate did, I need to spread some love.
I love and hate myself cause I could not trust the one I call me;
Nothing left for me to trust but you dear God as I can see;

This may sound like I'm a weakly foolish freak;
but the wretched dark side of me is playing me some trick;
Look at me now it's hard for me to trust;
I have given in into my desires of lust;

Maybe it's much better for me to be turned into dust;
but I still fight and struggle to rise back and I know I must;
The world is like a stage and we're all in a play;
when the curtains start to open what will we do or say;

Tragedy or comedy let us see what happened what will it be;
could we play the part that could touch the heart of you and me;
Even we try to stop it the tears flow in our very eyes;
when the foolish ones learn how to be kind and wise;

I'm a simple kind of human who just wishes to see the world in harmony;
not just the world but us human race everyone you and me;
The world itself now is not in balance;
Imagine a dancer forgot how to dance;

Shame on me you could all put the blame on me I'll embrace it;
but just promise to hold on and rise back and never quit;
Even if I'll be gone I hope the future generation will still do
gracefully stand and face all the storms that come may it be few;

You could call me crazy insane man but it's much better to have bad weather;
than seeing human beings slaughter each other, Cain and Abel are they brothers?
that is  one thing I really hate deep inside my aching bones ;
could it trigger or invoke what is on slumber on the deep unknown?

But if we could have good weather and a peaceful world I'll take that choice;
I'm just lowly unworthy man screaming for help for I have no voice;
With all the noise I make we make something someone has awoken;
Forgive me not, Oh! Lord and everyone for the foolish words I have spoken.

We're all at this point we can take a note;
one same boat Earth in an ocean of space it floats;
Discovery Science & technology swiftly growth;
positivity or negativity it can offer us both.

One little two little three,
time is moving for all of us you and me,
Twinkle twinkle little stars;
Where we are now so far?

Blah Blah black sheep,
Do we have more planets to live and keep?
Jack be nimble Jack be quick,
Titanic sinks Mother Earth is weak and sick.

It aches my toes my knees my shoulder my head;
say's Mother Earth shed her tears as she slowly bled.
Humpy dumb me sat on the wall;
a call for all or else we all fall.

Knock the door one two three four;
can we live in a paradise once more?
Five six seven eight,
will we wait before it's too late?

Tik Tok time moves unceasingly nine ten eleven;
a right mind chooses to live in a world like heaven.
Twelve the last digit on the clock keeps ticking for us all;
call the flock a rock can sink or let it move and roll.

Appear disappear don't be eaten by your fear;
altogether we can make it you may be far or near.
It's all clear we're all in one ship sailing this one trip;
put all our hands with a grip Mother Earth will cease to weep.

Good thing's come to those who patiently wait;
regrets only happen if we're recklessly too late;
Words and action played at the right perfect time;
Sometimes at times hastily, or slowly a summit climb.

Making the first step what will it be is it now or never;
we gather to talk  all together will it be better sooner or later;
we can soar reach that dream mountain high slowly but surely;
or willingly save all lives in the way quickly in this common journey.

What will it be? What will it be? For all of us you and me;
Will we do it moderately intensely in what some degree;
Time is still moving continually even we're sound asleep;
When we're not careful we can slip and slide this journey's leap.

Stay calm we can also listen to the voice of the voiceless ones;
who knows they may have answers and good things will come;
Things are better done not having a clouded judgment;
A clouded head just brings carries storms it pours it sent.

If we sincerely meant what we all say and do;
there will be no worries for us we, me and you;
One common home, one journey for the common good;
Will we hunger for power while a brother/sister hunger for food?

One planet, one home a family sister/brotherhood of man;
One Creator for everything and everyone leaves no one;
impossible great things can be done if all together we can;
Believe trust each other we are one in our Creator's master plan.

Each one of us can do the best of what we have;
Are things done better in a state of hate or love?
At times we hate what we do but we needed to do it;
At times we love what we do but we needed to quit it.

We are all created uniquely differently us you and me;
different talents, great bright ideas, and countless ability;
we can use it for our vainglory or the good of humanity;
we humbly clearly see the glory of our Creator's ingenuity.

Seeing ourselves in this wide vast universe what are we;
At times we forgot we all were once a fragile infant baby;
Without someone's care an infant baby chance of survivability
is close to impossibility we all were once a baby us you and me.

In this great and wide universe we're all just an infant;
all of our living lives could just vanish in an instant;
Even our Creator is silent and seems in a distant;
Cares provide us with shelter water air and plants.

Like a Mother/Father takes care of his/her family and child;
Learn from our Creator how to take care of everyone far and wide;
Family does not leave a single one in traveling a journey ride;
even things seem so wild we can see the trust of a child.

That he/she can make it because there is someone who still cares;
We can also do it for everyone here, there, anywhere everywhere;
If we are aware we are once an infant child who needed care;
Now it's time for us to pay it forward a tender loving dare.