Trust is broke, Trust is gone,
My heart is broken and never sings a song
It goes on beating because it must, alone I live
in my room because I must.
He left me alone to die alone, and he has no regrets
no consciences what so ever what he has done.
He does not think cheating is wrong, he will not admit
he is wrong, and I hope he never hurts another woman
as long as he is a live.
He will use  them for their money and their *** he must have
but no $40.00 for his ****** tablet does he have.
He lives like a beggar, lives on the streets, trying to live the almost impossible dream.  I will be a phoenix bird and rise up for the ashes and he will fall by the way side in Nashville. He would not listen to his friends and he did exactly what he wanted do but I am still standing but will he be standing too. I am waiting.

You need faith to get you through the storms of life these days,
without a strong faith you will gradually fad away. Your heart will
be broken by many that say they love you, and they also leave you too,
and that strong faith in God will get will get you through.
He will heal you gradually and heal your broken heart this is because he loves you unconditionally and no human can do that at all for you.
He will stand by you and guide you through stormy seas and know this also he has a plan for you.

I chose to follow Jesus- He is my Savior and my Lord but not my religion.
Religion is man made and confining and there is no freedom there in . Religion means you are looking for Christ and Spirituality mean you have found Christ and never lost him at all. The only requirements Christ places on you is that you follow him and love your neighbor as yourself.
My faith is grounded in Jesus Christ and The Catholic Faith which is the most united church that I have ever joined. I need a set of rules to live by and based my life upon and I have found these rules within the One true Catholic Church. It is just not enough to go to church on Sunday and Wednesday night, and then do your own thing for the rest of the week.
Catholic Church has Mass every day and not just twice a week. Sunday and Wednesday nights, and they are faithful to their members unlike so many  Protestant Denominations are today.
Yes, I chose to follow Jesus - He is my Savior but not my Religion.

He was the youngest man to ever be elected as a United States President and the first Roman Catholic President ever. He said "It's not what you can do for your country but what you can do for your country." He rode down the street in a open limousine car and in a New York Minute his life ended by a far away bullet. They rushed him to the hospital but it was to late he had died in his wives arm and the country went into mourning. His little son saluted him and his widow dressed in black. They say it was a conspiracy to place LBJ in his place.  They blamed him on Lee Harvey Oswald but that was their escape goat. It was really the CIA who did not like him at all.
He is buried at Arlington Cemetery side by side with his brother Robert  Kennedy who was   also  assassinated in  LA in June of 1968.

Summer has gone, Autumn will soon pass and there is snow on the ground before Winter is here. Thanksgiving will soon be upon us and we will all be in good cheer but those who suffer mental illness are never in good cheer. They look at the snow fall through their windows because they are not remembered during the holiday season. Some never see their families again and fell that they have all been but abandon. Snow has fall in late November and Thanksgiving is nearly upon us.

Dreaming a dream that won't come true,
that is exactly what you are doing,
Telling yourself you have it made
but then you will never see it come true
You don't have what it takes to become
a star and you have no voice- at all.
Homeless you will be- Homeless you will stay,
living off food stamps, and your Church of Christ
No updated skills on Microsoft or Security work
Traveling from one church to another church for
a roof over your head. Is this really the kind of
life you want to lead.
You will never be noticed like so many other wanted to be stars,
and they fall by the way side and beg on the streets for a crush
of bread because they wouldn't listen to anyone with sense.
Dreaming a dream is all you are doing. You have no humility when you show off your singing.  Humble you are not, you don't know the know . You are nothing but thoughtless want be musician.

Some things were meant to be when I lost you. I thought I could love another man after  I lost you. I tried to carry on but my life ended when when  you died and my heart broke in two when I had to say good bye to you. I tried to love again, but I could not love again after you. He was to needy wanting to much affection from me . Affection I could not give and all he ever thought was about *** and he was not much of a gentleman. He was not a kind and loving as you and I could not love him true. My whole world fell apart the day I took you off life support and watch you died in front of very eyes. I still can not let you go and I  still can not say good bye because it hurts me so. He lied and cheated on me and left me to die by myself. Something you would never do.
Still can't go on without you but I am trying hard and praying hard that   we will be together in God's Kingdom together. I miss you so and all I can do is cry and remember all the good times we had together. I wish you could come back to me but I know you can't. I am waiting to come to you but everyone is trying to stop me from doing so. I am not same after I lost you. I love you too much still.

Sunday is such a solemn day. There is not much to do. Most people go to church and watch foot ball too. They put on their best faces and go to church and pray. But when Monday comes around that's when they really   change. They are not really Christians all week through. They are only Sunday Christians and not during the rest of the week.
They need to practice what they preach because if they did they would not be doing what they do.

Why do you write? Is it a creative thing or is it for therapy? Is it an outlet to vent or away to express how you feel, because no one around understand how you feel?  Do you feel like you are going insane and writing is away to keep you sane?  What do you write and what kind of poetry? I write just about everything. I like to post my favorite lyrics from my favorite songs. I like to post original poetry because it tells where my heart is right now. I use writing as a way as a creative thing and use it also  as therapy. I have since I was 13 years old in 1968 and now I am almost 60 and still writing creativity. Creative writing and poetry is a wonderful way to vent and a wonderful therapy.

I will never love again, the trust is all but gone. I don't think I could ever trust another man since the last one did me wrong. He broke my heart, he cheated, and he just walked away. He would not even try to compromise and make our relationship last . He used me for my money and I gave him my heart, behind my back he saw other ***** and thought it was not cheating because we were not married. He tried to change me into some one I could not be try to change into his fantasy girl a sexually object you see.
He could not understand that love and *** were not the same that is because all men think all the same way. They think of *** before love and marriage and women are the opposite way we think of love and marriage before *** because that how we are. We are not men 's play toys and we are not geared the same way. Love is love and *** is lust and they are not the same. He broke my heart, he broke trust, and he left me alone to go back Nashville and pursue to pipe dream and to be forever homeless like the rest of his friends there. I will never love and trust again. All I seek now is platonic male friends and companions that  I  have something in common with that is all I want right now.

Love Me For What I Am Lyrics
from Horizon

We fell in love
On the first night that we met
Together we've been happy
I have very few regrets

The ordinary problems
Have not been hard to face
But lately little changes
Have been slowly taking place

You're always finding
Something is wrong in what I do
But you can't rearrange my life
Because it pleases you

You've got to love me for what I am
For simply being me
Don't love me for what you intend
Or hope that I will be

And if you're only using me
To feed your fantasy
You're really not in love
So let me go, I must be free

If what you want
Isn't natural for me
I won't pretend to keep you
What I am, I have to be

The picture of perfection
Is only on your mind
For all your expectations
Love can never be designed

We either take each other
For everything we are
Or leave the life we've made behind
And make another start

You've got to love me for what I am
For simply being me
Don't love me for what you intend
Or hope that I will be

And if you're only using me
To feed your fantasy
You're really not in love
So let me go, I must be free

And if you're only using me
To feed your fantasy
You're really not in love
So let me go, I must be free

You're really not in love
So let me go, I must be fre

Forgiveness is something hard to do when some one really hurts you.
They hurt you and have no regrets and deny hurting you and asking
you to forgive them for all the past hurts and pain they have caused
but then they expect you to become their friend once again.
They cause your heart to break into two and they don't  care what happens to you.
They think of only themselves and not you, then they ask for forgiveness from you.
You may be able to forgive in time but not forget  at all in time.
The heart break is real and the pain is very sharp and maybe it is best you forget to be friends at all.
Forgiveness you must but you don't have to forget because it simply  won't happen my friend.

How do you mend a broken heart?  How do you learn to trust again.
When someone walks out on you and they say never want to see you again.    They don't want to discuss it and leave you a lone and they know that you are not strong enough to brave it alone. Then they come back and ask you if you can their friend, and all your friends just say he will hurt and use you again.  He changes his cell phone number and blocks you on his Facebook and that tells you he is trying to forget you. However, no other woman will have him because he is toothless and lives like a homeless person.  He forgets how he was raised and chases a pipe dream to become a musician in Nashville. Today he is still homeless no pride at all and he has to ask his church for money and how long  will that last How do you mend a broken heart I don't know but the pain is still strong. I have prayed  to God to let me forgive him but I can never forget what he has done.  I was good to him but he was not good to me. He only thought of himself not me.
They say a broken heart can go on beating but how long can the one stand the pain.
The heart is a fragile thing you see and one day it will stop beating.

Lonely days and lonely nights, days and nights without you in them. My world is empty and incomplete I don't think I will ever be complete.  You walked out  on me without saying a word and you broke my heart  in two pieces and shook up my world. I gave you all I had to give but you were taker and not a giver. I needed an incurable romantic like me some one to share my private world with me.  I did not want high school *** with you oh no no slam, blam, thank you ma'am. I wanted a romantic make love and cuddling but all you thought was about yourself. It was in and out that was it. How more selfish can a man get.  You did not try to share my world with me  I don't understand why you even stuck with me.  You take off and never say a word like Patrick and Bobby said you were a coward to do so.
You call yourself a Christian but that is far from the truth. You cheated on me behind my back, womanized, and were a player and worse a **** Peter Pan.  My days are lonely and nights are too but one day I know I will find the right man again to share my private incurable romantic world with me too.

I need some one to love for me  and not try to change into some one I can't be. I am hopelessly flawed and I was born that way, but I have been told I have a heart of gold and generous natural and wonderful spirit too.

I need some one that will hold me when I need to cry and never leave my side, he will be there with no matter what and tell me I can make it just hold onto him.

I need a soul-mate that can accept me for me I am not perfect I am simply just me.  I can look in the mirror and not turn around and I can tell myself I love myself now.

I still have a long way to go with my self esteem but once a man hurts you it is a long way to recovery. The trust may never come again and as for the love all you can is try again.
I need some one to love for me and I want that man to be my soul-mate.

THE CARPENTERS LYRICS
"When I Fall In Love"

Maybe I'm old fashioned feeling as I do.
Maybe I'm just living in the past,
But when I meet the right one, I know I'll be true.
My first love will be my last.

When I fall in love
It will be forever.
For I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart
It will be completely.
For I'll never give my heart.
And the moment I can fell that you fell that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

Looking for a home, nothing special but something I can call my own. Where I can write and be alone unless I invite my friends over and have a good time with them. Well I can have a pet cat once again, after he made me lose everything two and half years ago and never did anything to help to get back on his. All I want is my life and concentrate on my health. I am doing that once step at a time with the help of my therapist and psychiatrist and those friends who have not deserted me just  because I am mentally ill. I hated being homeless but he seems to think it is a joke going from one church to another from November 1 to March 31 of 2015  at the Room in  Inn and living off  $189.00 of food stamps. Maybe I will get lucky and I will get my own place by June because the weather cold and at least I am safe and off the streets now.
I am tired of being homeless I just want a small place of my own.

My soul does scream to be loved for me,
for someone who does not want to change me,
My soul does scream just love me for me,
I am who I am and I am happy as I can be,
I can love you for you for and never asked you
to change, but you asked me to change to much
can't you see.
You thought *** was the most important thing, and
not getting back on your feet. You thought being homeless
was a wonderful thing and living off the system was the easier thing.
My soul screamed out get a job and get us a home, but all you did
was go to the library and get on your Facebook and ****** dating sites.
You cheated on me behind my back and you broke my heart and almost left me to die. My soul does scream I want to be free and all I need now is my own place, two cats, my lap top, internet, and my poetry.

Missing is you is all I do. You were always there for me when I need someone you see. I could tell you what was on my mind and you would hold me in arms and let me cry.  You told me I would be all right, but I shook my head and sighed.  We are together for so many years since 1979.
We were supposed to be married and yet we decided it wasn't meant to be and we remained closed friends rather enemies.  I was your family and you were mine and it broke my heart the day you died. Today is the anniversary of your death and you left me alone but you entrusted me with Frank and he was the next one to died on me. Missing both of you - you see has broken my heart and spirit you see.  I cry and no one sees my tears that I want to join both of you now in heaven.
What have done to deserve this long life and I had away I would end it today.
My life has to come to end one day and then we will be together forever and day.  I love you both John and Frank.

It has been twelve years ago since you died and left me now. I miss you more than you will ever know. You stuck with me through thick and thin and held me when I needed it and assured me I was going to be alright and that I was going to make it.
We knew each other for 25 years and we planned to be married several times but in the end we knew we could not but we decided to remain friends and   close friends we remained. I was there for you and you were there for me and I know one day I will see you again in Heaven you see. You will have a brand new body one out of pain and suffering and I will have the same you see. When they called me and told me you  died I fell  apart I think I stopped loving and it broke my heart. I have loved after you and he too died on me and now I just won't try again because I can't love again you see. I have loved four men and all have died on me and you all four men are still special to me.  No, I will never love again and give another man my heart because when you died you took it with you.  I was blessed to know such four good men and one day we will all be together again.

Season of change - that is what autumn and winter bring. No more flowers in bloom, only the leaves turning into autumn hues of golden yellows, reds, and greens. The next season we see is winter with is snow upon the ground and children building snow men and throwing snows ***** around. Thanksgiving is the first holiday giving thanks to the Lord for what he gave us for that year and after Thanksgiving comes Christmas the birth and Nativity of our dear Lord. Some people do not celebrate The Nativity of our Lord they say it is not biblical but that is their excuse.  Christmas is not about receiving of gifts but helping those in need, and remembering how Jesus helped all those in need. Season of change autumn and winter, but spring will come again and flowers will be back in bloom and summer will follow again.

Man of my dreams where may you be? Are you an incurable romantic like me. Do you want to come and share my private world with me and live in the turn of the 20th century with me. Where we can take walks on warm summer nights and swing  on the swings in a city park, and in the winter cuddle   in front of the TV and watch an old fashion romantic show together. Where *** is not spoken until you ask me to marry you, and our marriage night with be magical. I have only found three such men now and never again they are with my Lord now. Until which time I can find my incurable romantic I am happy to remain as I am.