A week from today I have a job interview
I get anxiety when having an interview
If I am not sure what to say I tend to just spew out a random answer
I worry about what to wear
I get scared when there is uncomfortable silence and fear the worst
My hands sweat and my mouth is dry
If I don't get the job I feel I might cry
I just hope that I don't make to many mistakes
I guess I will try my best and try to focus on my strengths

her name was angel (coincidence?)
and she came up to me tonight
she had this light in her eyes as she
told me that God has a plan for me.
she thought i'd think she was crazy because
she said he talks to her. (i kind of did)
but, i stayed open-minded because
thats just who i am.

she said that God says im beautiful and
that i will do great things. then she
went into greater detail about how my life will completely
change if i would just stop being so stubborn and let him in,
for he knows i will change the entire world with my leadership.
(ive never met this lady before but she seems to know me more than i know myself.)

i listened carefully as she told me that i needed to call out to God and
worship him, for he will show me the way.

throughout the night i pondered on who i am and what i will be.
she even said that i know exactly what i want to do, but God will not only
let me have my dreams, but even more. he will make my dreams multiply
tenfold and i will be a leader and many will follow me.

i cant decide if i believe her or not, but
since this has happened twice in two weeks
i might as well give God a try.

What is insanity?
Why is it constantly blamed on clamity?
I feel as if the word and it's definition is to blame,
That crazy is just a stereotype to make people think you have to be and see things a certain way,
To build boundaries around people's minds,
And anything outside of that is evidence of insane signs,
The misfortunate ones are those who change,
Who think the brainwashing media is right and they should mold into a certain way,
But I disagree, STRONGLY disagree
Because why be something you weren't meant to be,
It's a sad cycle that humanity will never seem to learn,
But from that I've come to a realization that id rather be the black sheep of the herd

With pursed lips stained with cherry red lipstick she stood in front of her mirror and cried a little harder with each breath.
Why can't she be perfect?
Why can't she fall back in love?
Why can't she just ask for help again?
Watching herself in that mirror she saw her reflection... Makeup running down her face, and a cry for help only she saw each day...
Why couldn't she rewind?
Why couldn't she just take it all back?
Why was she so afraid the change and start new?
Today was the day she said with one shaky breath.... Today she would stop the self hatred and the tears.

She stopped asking why.
She stopped trying to rewind.
She stopped trying to be someone she wasn't anymore....