The sweet smooth music plays, setting a tantalizing atmosphere that somehow says I am the master and you will enjoy tonight
The band playing the music seem plastic yet at the same time vibrant with restrained energy. Energy that , like blood, seeps into the people in the room yet not into the music that is being created. The music does not need the energy because it has a power all on its own. The people dancing enthusiastically look satisfied. They look to be having an extravagant time. Everyone is smiling. Everyone is happy? No? Look deeper. If you focus intensly, you can see the signs: a mouth twitching, a hand hesitating as it reaches for a glass, a foot jerking to its position in the dance it is performing. If you look even deeper there are signs of the desperate lust to escape: a shorter than usual skirt, a scar on a wrist, a ciggarette in a hand, a bruised neck. And I can see these signs so effortlessly.  If these people could come evn close to comprehending intelligence they would call it a gift. This is not a gift ....... only a burden I bear and as I look to the others who have the ability I see them hanging. All of them. Hanging from rafters I cannot reach understand or comprehend........  I look at my rafter and deep inside me I feel the perverted need the grotesque want to find those other rafters so I drop the rope and push the chair away and I stare.... stare aimlessly at the mindless zombies that smile fake smiles.

Look into my eyes, do you see me?
Do you really see ME?
Do you feel my passion, my fire?
Can you feel it burning inside you?
Do you feel my sorrow? Cry!
Hear me cry out to you.
Do you understand me?
Can you understand where I’m coming from?
Do you see the good in me?
Can you forgive all the wrong?
Look past the confusion
Past the facade, to my inner being.
Strip away this empty encasing.
Capture and love the real person you’re seeing.
Enfold me.
Hold me.
Save me from this cruel reality.
Look beyond this material existence.
In my eyes you’ll find the clarity
You’ve yearned for.

when i **** somebody
i lose a part of me
and that is what i want
to some people that might seem strange
and reading this
i might seem like a sociopath
and i probably am
but  i felt i just had to explain
not really to you
but to me
because i need it
just to keep myself sane
,if a sociopath truly can  be sane,
so here i go explaining this to you as you are tied to this  chair
the best way i can explain is i see and know everything
well not everything
but too much
way too much
and as i see these things i feel them
i feel it all
all their lies
pains
insecurities
i guess i would call myself the ultimate empathiser
and because i see and feel all of these things
i have to loose them
and the only thing that works
is to steal a life
and let it haunt me
and attack me
and steal parts of me
and that makes me survive
so this is why you are about to die
why i am about to **** you