****** light
straining through a mess of clouds
barely alive
awake without energy
sunlight fading to darkness
as my life fades to death
I die
left broken on the rusty floor
killed by the struggle of the day
as morning light burns bright again
I rise a phoenix
triumphant
new
or am I an elusion
to be tomorrow
a great gift
of life its self
to carry on
if i were tomorrow

I wander
Faces fade as soon as I pass
A shadow
A faint memory of the girl with the frown
The unanswered question
Who is she
No one knows
Places blur together forming a cloud in my head
No place to call home
The road
The only constant thing in my life
Every turn I make leads to another mistake
Are there any paths
To lead me in the right direction
No it's always my choice
Even the desision to be free was my choice
No guidelines just the empty Page
Can i form my own Pattern
Do I fit any where
Lone
Can I call anywhere home if I fit nowhere

Salt
Tears flowing down my cheeks
You have no right
To pull us in
To this web of painful tears
They sting
I try and hold them back
Yet they fall
I do have right
I do have opinions
In vain you try to make me conform
I will not
You have no right
The voice in my head echoes
You are pointless
It says
You dragged us in to this war
Well I am fighting
I will not hold back
I didn't want this
I wanted peace
Yet the insults fly
And the sting returns
In my head a new voice appears
Apologize
It whispers
You'll lose them
You know you will
They don't need you
If you disappear they wouldn't notice
You are nothing
A waste of space
You ARE stupid
You ARE useless
A tear falls
No
I won't apologize
I love them
I need them but I know
I deserve more than what I get
I know they might leave me
Is that a risk I will take?
So tired of this
So tired of everything
Lying on my back staring at the white ceiling
Insomnia
Again
Looking in the mirror two pills in my hand
Hopefully I can fade now
Sink into the earth
I will not apoligize for being treated badly
But I will apoligize for creating this
You say it's nothing
You say it's meaningless drama
It matters to me