You don't know what's going on in my head.
I could be plotting my suicide,
Or dancing on rainbows.
I could be running away from myself,
Or playing with a fuzzy dog.
I could be crying in the pooring rain,
Or singing under warm sunshine.
You'll never know what's going on in my head,
You never even ask.
Even if you did ask,
I wouldn't know how to answer you.
Some days are better than others,
Some days are worse.
Some days I feel nothing,
Some days I feel love and happiness.
No matter what day it is,
I'll never be able to answer your never asked question,
Even if you decide to ask it one day.

I'm being eaten alive by my own thoughts.
I can't run,
I can't hide.
Each one kills me more and more.
The darker they get,
The more deadly they become.
I wish I could escape them,
But you can't escape your own thoughts.

When I'm around you,
I feel special.
You make me feel happy,
You make me feel loved.
You can make me smile with one word.
You make me feel whole.
I love that feeling,
I love being with you.
I love you.

You were there for me,
But now you aren't.
You're not there to hold me when I cry,
You're not there to whisper,
Everything will be okay.
You left me,
You left us.
Was it worth it?
Did you find what you were looking for?
I hope you found someone new,
Because if you come back,
I won't be waiting,
No one will be waiting.

I wish I was braver,
I wish I was courageous.
I wish I had the guts to tell you,
But I can't.
I tried that before,
It didn't go so well for me.
I was laughed at,
Made fun of,
And I don't want to go through that again.
I hope you will never do that to me,
I hope you will never be that mean.
Wait for me,
Please,
Because that day will come,
When I can tell you what I really wanted to say this whole time.

I was so happy,
I got to spend time with you.
I was ecstatic when I found out you wanted to spend time with me.
I had so much fun,
We had so much fun.
But that was then,
And this is now.
Please don't forget me,
Please don't forget the memories we shared.
I never want to forget you,
And all of the fun we had.
I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Tick,
Tick,
Boom.
It happens like a light switch.
I freak out,
Shut down,
And shut up.
It happens so many times,
Even when I'm around you.
I hide because I don't want you to judge me,
To laugh at me,
To hate me.