I've alway envied those who have artistic talents.
I can't draw or paint for the life of me.
But I find it so very beautiful and I admire it heatedly.
I yearn to be able to make masterpieces so emotion invoking that people weep at their knees.
I want to learn what words they whispers to the colours that make them transform into life .
& In which ways do they caress the page so that every passionate stroke is felt by me when I see it.
One time I looked at a painting so captivating I swear I saw God where the colours collided together.
And all I could do was laugh.
Because it also looked like myself.
And everyone else.
And it showed me something I had never seen before.
In all the colours and shapes and lines, coming together to form a beautiful masterpiece.
Every human being a contributing piece.
I saw it all in it's entirety.
&Ala;; I may never know the rich & deep pleasures of being an artist.
But I can be the artist of my own life.
I can manifest a life so colourful & beautiful that people might ask me for a little piece of it.
So that they can bring it home and hang it on their walls.
To inspire them to be creative & to reach for the paint too.

sometimes I just feel so ******* alive.
beautifully, painfully, ravenously & irreversibly alive..
exploding at the seems of my skin with unstoppable energy & will & plans.
other times I just feel so ******* dead...
numb to the bone with no one and nowhere to call home.
emotionless, humourless, directionless, & defeated.
and you never know what way it'll go,
which side will show..
it's a show, i'm a show.

**** me with your feelings
caress me with your care
fashion me with kisses
then undress me with your stare
wrap me up
inside your soul
I'll start a fire
so you won't get cold
& I won't ever tire
of having you to hold
you made me feel like a diamond
when I thought I was coal

blindly driving
powered by fear
swerving all over
never learned how to steer
you might want to watch out
cause i won't spill my beer
i'll just run you right over
you'll be struck like a deer

can someone please come here to me
crawl in my bed tonight
i can't stand this ugly lonesomeness
for one more sleepless night
i tried to drink my cares away
i numbed myself to ease the pain
i traded in a try hard man
for a bottle of whiskey
and a new set of plans
but nothing i do feels right yet
and i guess this is just what i get
for not knowin where i'm goin
but still showin and still growin
& i'll be living life quite recklessly
until my graceful death it seems

life
the whirlwind
the uncertainty
the madness
but the passion
oh the passion
to survive it
to make the most of it
to make the most of ourselves
it is thriving and well
but you know don't you
that you are already everything
you have yet to become
you are an empty vessel
of opportunity & potential
waiting to be discovered & explored
a treasure chest
of characters & stories
waiting to be played out
you are manifesting the manual
and you are not just one thing
you are all things
you are the writer &the; director
the actor & the audience
the set & the stage
you are the creator & the creation
a magnificent magician
with an endless imagination

i am in seventh heaven
on cloud nine
walking on air
in transports of delight

i am happy as a clam
having a whale of a time
buzzing with excitement
and stoked on life

i am on top of the world
and over the moon
tickled pink
and walking on sunshine

i am in raptures
just beside myself
jumping for joy
having the time of my life

i am so elated
blissed out
thrilled
and happy
ecstatic
euphoric
gleeful
and sappy

over joyed
and delighted
and slightly misguided
but these are the feelings
that you have ignited